Miscellaneous: Today, trying to get some much needed rest, I heard my neighbors...

By tired individual - United States - Dickson

Today, trying to get some much needed rest, I heard my neighbors fighting loudly. When they finally quit, they left a DVD on, directly behind my wall: Spongebob, with the menu tune on loop. FML

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Miscellaneous

BO Central

Miss me yet?

Inspirational tale

By Anonimo - Italy - Monserrato

Today, after a year of living with my boyfriend at our new place, he told me that he wants to sell our house and live in a trailer, so he can be closer to his mom. FML

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By jostertoaster12 - United States - Steamboat Springs

Today, while skiing down a steep mountain, a man ran over my skis, causing me to fall and roll down the slope. When I regained my balance, I saw the man had followed me just to say "How graceful" and continue on. FML

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By nottrustworthy - United States

Today, my wife of seven years told me that she doesn't trust me with dog-sitting her dog while she leaves to spend Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's with her family. She ended up calling someone she "trusts" to take care of her dog while I spend the holidays by myself. FML

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By anon - United States - Gilroy

Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML

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By bitch - United States - San Diego

Today, I dumped my boyfriend. To celebrate being newly single, I wanted to watch some shows on Netflix. My now ex-boyfriend had already changed the password. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Fremont

Today, I left my daughter with a babysitter for the first time. When I came home, my microwave was ruined because they had attempted to heat cans of Play-Doh as a science experiment. FML

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By notcool - United States

Today, I learned that my anxious and obsessive mother is going to drive three hours every weekend to attend a Johns Hopkins medical course on stress reduction. Why is this bad? I just left home for college and have enjoyed my last two weeks of freedom without her around. I attend Johns Hopkins. FML

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By Rich - United States

Today, my parents gave me a shirt from Banana Republic for my birthday. It looked like one I had bought for myself a couple of days earlier but I thanked them and went to hang it in my closet. An empty hanger hung where I placed the shirt I had purchased. They gave me my shirt for my birthday. FML

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By frustrated - Ireland

Today, my brother deleted all traces of the novel I've been working on for three years from my laptop. The reason? When I was born I "stole all of Mum and Dad's attention." He's 24. FML

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By assdialed. - United States

Today, I got a phone call from my dad that I haven't heard from in months. I didn't answer, but it left me an accidental voicemail saying "Oh s***, I didn't mean to call her!" FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Rogers

Today, I asked a guy out. He told me no. Well, his exact words were "I would never go out with a whale, sorry." Then he went on to make whale noises. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Silverdale

Today, I went to a restaurant and asked for vegetarian options. They told me, "We have a chicken Caesar salad, will that work?" FML

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By IvyLeague? - United States - Buffalo

Today, I was babysitting, and a little girl asked for help with her homework. I cheerfully began an explanation, only to freeze mid-sentence. I could not for the life of me remember how to do long-division. I'm about to graduate from Cornell University, and her little brother had to correct me. FML

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By Miranda - 7/6/2020 17:06

Confused

Today, I was going to walk up to my crush, kiss him, and tell him how I felt. We are already kind of touchy with each other, so I thought he liked me back. I walked up to him and kissed him. He kissed me back, then gently pushed me away. He quietly whispered, "I'm gay." Then walked away. FML

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By Brianna Michelle Ferrell

Today, I went on a date with a guy and he kept winking at me. I thought it was really sweet until later that night he told me he had Tourette's. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, my girlfriend sent me a video of herself masturbating so I could watch it on my business trip. As I was watching it, I realised someone was filming her, because the camera was moving and definitely not on a tripod. I know I never recorded a video of her. FML

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By Itsbeen8years - Slovakia - Stupava

Today, I found my first bra and tried it on. It still fits. FML

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By surprise - United States - Starkville

Today, I wanted to surprise my roommate by picking her up from class with her dog. Her dog decided to surprise me by dumping a load on my passenger seat. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/2/2021 02:01

Gonna need more details, please

Today, I learned my husband thinks that our 10 year relationship has been a "step above mediocre" since 8 years ago, when we got married, and his family melted down that our wedding didn't happen their way, and thus began their undermining of our relationship. He believes it's "no ones fault." Uh huh. FML

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By fml - United States

Today, I was walking through town when I saw a plastic bag on the ground. Trying to be a good citizen, I picked it up, intending on throwing it in the trash. When I looked up, there wasn't a trash can for another hundred feet. So I put it back down. Now I've got a $200 fine to pay for littering. FML

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By dannyboy1422 - United States

Today, we had a lockdown in our school for 2 hours because a man was sitting outside our school in his car with a gun in hand. I texted my mom telling her what was going on and that it's on the news. She responded saying "I'll tape it". FML

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By miewann - United States - Mount Holly

Today, I got fired from my new waitress job after 2 shifts. They said I wasn't experienced enough to handle the fast pace. I thought I'd been doing well so I asked my friend who works there what really happened. Apparently not showing my boobs enough at a family place was grounds for dismissal. FML

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By Confused - 23/9/2020 17:01 - Australia - Perth

Suspicious

Today, I texted my boyfriend, asking him to meet me when he finished work. Paranoid as he is, he took this to mean that I wanted to break up with him, and is ghosting me into oblivion. All I wanted was to see him on our 4-year anniversary. FML

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By RahiYeah09 - United States

Today, I was in the 'intimacy' section of Walmart. After grabbing 2 boxes of condoms and a vibrating ring I turn around to see my ex boyfriend's mom. I smile awkwardly and put my head down as I walk away, causing me to colide with his dad and send my 'goodies' all over the floor. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Lebanon

Today, my mother moved in to my 2-bedroom apartment with me. She brought her boyfriend, 4 chihuahuas, and 2 birds with her. FML

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By Anonymous - India - Mumbai

Today, I threw a punch at my sensei like he told me to, except he failed to block it like he assured me he would. Now I'm banned from his classes and I'm pretty sure he's going to get the police involved. FML

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By Welpthatwasfast

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to mix it up and find a good place outdoors to have fun. After an hour of climbing up a rocky mountainside to a completely isolated clearing, out of the way of any hiking path, he was still so paranoid that he finished within 20 seconds. FML

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By Hunter101 - United States - Humble

Today, I took a picture in front of my bathroom mirror and posted it on Facebook. When I checked it later, it had 20 comments on the picture. I was feeling good until I read the comments and looked at the picture again. I left my vibrator on the the bathroom counter. FML

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By jitterbug - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, when my roommate asked me what was wrong, I told him that something I ate was making me feel sick. He works 10+ hours a day, and I didn't have the heart to tell him that the putrid smell of his feet was making me nauseous. FML

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By twinzies - United States - Chula Vista

Today, there's a new freshman at my school that looks exactly like me. Whenever we see her, my friends shout "Twinzies!" I don't have anything against her, but I'm bummed because I'm a male senior. FML

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By 3023-dang - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait for us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML

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By skatergrrrl - United States

Today, I had my first ice skating lesson. I had to wait 5 years for a rink to open in my town, 2 weeks for my lessons to begin, but only 10 minutes to fall and hit my tailbone so hard that I can't walk. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was driving with my mom. She had some soda with her from earlier, and even though it was probably warm, I was thirsty. I ask for a sip, she hands it to me and says sure. And I get a mouthful of ash-and-cigarette-butt-filled soda. Apparently she didn't feel the need to mention this to me. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I found out apparently I sleep walk. My boyfriend has been filming me and uploading it all to Youtube. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend didn't come home from a night of drinking with the boys again, so I told him that I was packing my things and I wouldn't be here when he came home. After all my things were packed, I realized he drove my car to the bar. FML

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By muzikmaler91 - United States

Pizzzaaaaaaa

Today, I called Pizza Hut to order a pizza. A voice recording was reading me their specials. The man had a horrible country accent so I began to make fun of it. Then I realized it was an actual person on the line. FML

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By green2black - United States

Today, I finally found the girl of my dreams, she's smart, loyal, energetic and adorable. There's one problem. She's a Golden Retreiver. FML

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By Anon - United States

Today, neither of my parents fought for my custody. FML

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By Anyonehiring - United States - Tempe

Today, I had the great pleasure of meeting my replacement, who was sitting at my desk in my office. My boss must've forgotten to mention to me that I've been fired. FML

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By ehcanadianeh - Canada - Toronto

Today, I found $20 under my car seat, so I put it in the cup holder, only for it to fly out of the window while going down the highway. FML

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Top comments

By ojjasper123 | 9

#5825360 - Sunday 12 January 2014 19:26

Are you hating on spongebob?

By BasketGhost | 17

#5825366 - Sunday 12 January 2014 19:28

Are ya feeling it now, Mr. Krabs?

COMMENTS

By Despereaux | 15

#5825359 - Sunday 12 January 2014 19:26

Oh, I'm sorry OP. Have you tried explaining to them that they're being too loud and that you need to sleep?

HowAreYouToday | 34

#5825381 - Sunday 12 January 2014 19:33

op could try headphones or something

Weird_situations | 13

#5825393 - Sunday 12 January 2014 19:46

Yeah, or reporting them?

HKCgrimmjow | 15

#5825453 - Sunday 12 January 2014 20:45

What are the chances... I've been stuck listening to that same tune on loop (unless sponge bob has many tunes) for possibly hours... I feel for you OP, it drove me nuts.

Rainhawk94 | 27

#5825560 - Sunday 12 January 2014 23:39

Op did you try telling them to turn it to wumbo

incoherentrmblr | 21

#5825723 - Monday 13 January 2014 3:17

At least it was two cats going back and forth also, unlike the other FML on here...

By ojjasper123 | 9

#5825360 - Sunday 12 January 2014 19:26

Are you hating on spongebob?

TheCrispyCat | 20

#5825406 - Sunday 12 January 2014 19:55

Spongebob can get extremely annoying.

moonsalt | 20

#5825409 - Sunday 12 January 2014 19:57

Especially when most of us turn out to be Squidward.

Ziggy122 | 15

#5825474 - Sunday 12 January 2014 21:04

Old Spongebob was great. Post-movie Spongebob is annoying as fuck.

pinkster2014 | 25

#5826095 - Monday 13 January 2014 14:46

Yeah, I miss old spongebob

By girlrome | 19

#5825361 - Sunday 12 January 2014 19:27

Couldn't they hear it? Or did they sit down to watch spongebob after the fighting? :D

RedPillSucks | 31

#5825505 - Sunday 12 January 2014 21:49

Sponge bob is to cover up the sexy time noises.

Ins0mau | 20

#5825591 - Monday 13 January 2014 1:08

It's certainly a favourite love making soundtrack.

By chevygirl23 | 17

#5825362 - Sunday 12 January 2014 19:27

Oh God I couldn't handle that. Couldn't you just knock on the door and politely ask them to turn it down?

Sammeydw | 22

#5825652 - Monday 13 January 2014 1:41

At least it wasn't Barney..

By TheMDragon | 7

#5825363 - Sunday 12 January 2014 19:27

If you live in an apartment building just report them. If you confront them it will probably lead to more problems.

By worldclassrager | 39

#5825365 - Sunday 12 January 2014 19:27

Ear plugs for the win...

By BasketGhost | 17

#5825366 - Sunday 12 January 2014 19:28

Are ya feeling it now, Mr. Krabs?

Pleonasm | 34

#5825382 - Sunday 12 January 2014 19:34

They SOILED IT...SOILED IT...SOILED IT

By Trin_Tran | 26

#5825367 - Sunday 12 January 2014 19:28

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU" doesn't work so much this time .

davidpropert | 32

#5825390 - Sunday 12 January 2014 19:43

Aye aye captain!

rich443 | 22

#5825436 - Sunday 12 January 2014 20:18

ohhhhhhhh who lives in a pineapple under the sea

masterof1 | 7

#5825469 - Sunday 12 January 2014 21:01

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTIES

Chris93Jones | 20

#5825530 - Sunday 12 January 2014 22:38

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

skyttlz | 32

#5825963 - Monday 13 January 2014 9:19

Nautical nonsense be somethin you wish

pinkster2014 | 25

#5826113 - Monday 13 January 2014 15:11

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS :D

By brainymes | 30

#5825368 - Sunday 12 January 2014 19:28

Betcha know for sure who lives in a pineapple under the sea now.

By klorehore | 24

#5825369 - Sunday 12 January 2014 19:30

I assume you tried communicating with them somehow to make them tune down, if not I'd call the cops on those d-bags. I do not tolerate my sleep getting messed with.