Today, I was walking with my boyfriend in the hallway of our school, and once we got to his class, I leaned in for a kiss. Surprising me, he leaned away, and I asked what was wrong. He told me he's glad we're going out, but just doesn't want anyone to know. FML

Classic

Today, my boyfriend introduced me as a friend to one of his friends. FML

Today, my boyfriend told me that the girl he really likes sees me as a threat. FML

Better off

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I took a walk without asking for permission. He thought guys would be hitting on me the entire walk, and that I chose to go alone to pick up numbers. FML

Today, as I was walking out of a restaurant with my boyfriend, I saw some guys checking me out. One of them walked up to my boyfriend and said, "Dude, you and your girlfriend have matching moustaches!" FML

Today, a client stared at me in disbelief after I mentioned that I had a boyfriend. FML

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his friends as his "sex partner." FML

Harsh

Today, my boyfriend sent me a text that said, "I can't be seen with you anymore. You're too fat." FML

Today, I ran into my serious boyfriend of two years at a restaurant. He was sitting with another girl. I went over and asked him who she was. He replied, "Who are you?" Apparently I was the secret girlfriend. FML

Mixed signals

Today, the guy I've been dating told me that I need to stop hanging on him in public because it's ruining his game with other girls. FML