Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML
Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished a zombie apocalypse would happen in real life, so he could take me out back and shoot me without having to worry about going to prison. FML
Today, a baseball bat fell on my head while my boyfriend and I were cuddling. The same baseball bat that he keeps next to the bed, because he genuinely fears a zombie outbreak. FML
Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML
Today, my vegan boyfriend told me that if he were forced to kill either his cat or me, he'd kill me because he "would never kill an animal." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I had diabetes. He won't talk to me anymore because he thinks I'll infect him with it. FML
Today, I was out apartment hunting with my boyfriend. We visited a marvelous place that ticked all the boxes on our requirement checklist, but my boyfriend was unenthused. There was just one small detail that I hadn’t factored in: it's very badly located if ever zombies attack. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I watched the new movie "The Purge." After the movie, I jokingly asked him that if the U.S. had such a purge in real life, would he participate, and who would he kill first. Without missing a beat, he said, "you." FML
Today, I got genuinely annoyed at myself when I realised I probably lack the skills to survive a Zombie apocalypse. FML
Today, my boyfriend is completely obsessed with zombie and horror movies. I don’t care what he watches, the only problem is the big wuss has horrible thrashing nightmares. Last night he thrashed so hard, he elbowed me in the face. I have a big swollen purple knot right on my forehead. FML
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Top comments
damienwatkins 0
how cute
Rota 0
That's love.
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Comments (278)
thekooliest 0
That's a good thing..you wouldn't want to become infected. That life sucks and would be a FML
MustangGirL 0
Well..you couldve been a disturbed child zombie who sits on the floor crying out loudly then slices the shit outta the first thing that disturbs you. So that's a good thing. =]
Suicidalpotatoe 0
True love there
weissesengel 0
awww ;(
LeFunnyJunk 2
that's a good thing.
shebbylynn 0
Ohhh, that sucks. My boyfriend told me in the event of a zombie apocalypse and I turned into a zombie he'd put me in a cage and feed me puppies. lmao
samiiam 10
my boyfriend said the same thing :/
nicole3mickeyd 0
thats a compliment!
birdfreak 24
that's sweet. he doesn't want you to suffer.
birdfreak 24
that's sweet. he doesn't want you to suffer.