Today, my boyfriend fed me chocolate chip cookies with laxatives in them because he was concerned I did not poop enough. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend made me a latte. It tasted off, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I drank it. Turns out he put laxatives in it as a prank. The idiot couldn’t just use one or two. He used so many that I had to go to the ER for severe dehydration after puking and shitting for hours. FML
Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML
Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when my boyfriend called me, saying his parents are in town and want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. FML
Today, my boyfriend had to give me an enema. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend out to dinner to an expensive restaurant. He overate, and now I have to nurse him through food poisoning. FML
Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend scolded me for asking whether he’d like his favorite soup for lunch when he was, "in absolutely no shape to survive ingesting food." Two hours later he's greedily digging into an almost expired pack of cheap and nasty supermarket waffles from out of his bag. FML
Today, my boyfriend made me breakfast because I had a cold. Because my nose was so stuffed, I couldn't tell that our milk had gone bad. I had two cups. And now I'm stuck on the toilet. FML
Today, I have been on the toilet all day due to chocolate laxatives from trick-or-treating. Today, it is my birthday. FML
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Top comments
CheaRight 0
At least he knows girls poop.. Remember the girl that had to use the gas station to poop because her boyfriend thought girls didn't poop? Would you prefer that?
Southerndatageek 2
I would dump him like a load of poop for giving me meds of any type without my knowledge. There is something just a little twisted in giving your girlfriend laxatives without her knowledge. Makes one wonder what else he has given you.
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Comments (131)
perdix 31
Sounds like he's hinting for a Cleveland Steamer or a Dirty Sanchez.
ILoveEggnog 7
I think the first is more likely.
FYLSLOWLY 0
Ahh you beat me to it! Lol
Southerndatageek 2
I would dump him like a load of poop for giving me meds of any type without my knowledge. There is something just a little twisted in giving your girlfriend laxatives without her knowledge. Makes one wonder what else he has given you.
justinfailz 0
no it's not twisted obviously he was concerned btw I'm not sure If you know but if you don't shit for a week you die
SirEBC 7
*Sigh*
Southerndatageek 2
Good God are you completely kidding me? If you don't poop in a week you will die? Giving someone medication without their knowledge is dangerous and stupid. she could have had an allergic reaction to something in the medication and died from that for real. Next time study some anatomy and physiology before you comment that if you don't poop in a week you will die.
fluffbunny 0
that's not true. I was on medicine after surgery that didn't make me poop and I didn't go till after 8 days. they were giving me stool softener and that didn't work with the morphine, oxycotin, and percacept I was taking.
ladybugobgyn 0
Are you sure you're not still on those medications? That would excuse the way the spelling was butchered...
killabee 0
What the hell? My comment won't post! This is a test....
ConfusionsLoveMe 0
Your tongue is fricking creepy . No offence
toenay 0
he should've given you more than. ge was thinking of you lol
ScrabbleBabe2010 0
That is illegal...what's next Roofies?? Red Flag he is controlling, get away from him!
MrsFry 0
you a feminist it was either a joke or he was actually concerned, lighten up glamazon
docscientist 10
30 is right, op's bf gave her a drug without her consent or knowledge. It sounds pretty controlling to me.
MrsFry 0
well do u??
nerdsgetmehot 23
Hmm. What else has he been slipping you on the sly?
xmarkstheheart 0
Maybe he's a guerilla proctologist. He's keeping it real street.
AnnyAnarchy22 0
XD that's funny!!
Daederoth 10
You also need to poop it all out before doing anal so that your bf doesn't get poop penis and/or you don't shir dIf this is his true motive, getting you primed and ready for butt sex, then you may want to try
nerdsgetmehot 23
Not everyone is into anal, dude.