Health: Today, my boyfriend fed me chocolate chip cookies with laxatives... - FML

By clashgurl8449 - 17/02/2011 08:08

Today, my boyfriend fed me chocolate chip cookies with laxatives in them because he was concerned I did not poop enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 424

You deserved it 4 268

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Same thing different taste

Great boyfriend, part 2

By thanks a lot - 04/05/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend made me a latte. It tasted off, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I drank it. Turns out he put laxatives in it as a prank. The idiot couldn’t just use one or two. He used so many that I had to go to the ER for severe dehydration after puking and shitting for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 896

You deserved it 198

By dannij08 - 14/01/2009 01:05 - United States

Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 429

You deserved it 43 459

By Anonymous - 17/11/2009 20:05 - United States

Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when my boyfriend called me, saying his parents are in town and want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 551

You deserved it 5 930

By Anonymous - 25/01/2011 00:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend had to give me an enema. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 337

You deserved it 4 393

Too much of a good thing

By tryingtoberomantic - 28/09/2019 14:00 - Australia

Today, I took my boyfriend out to dinner to an expensive restaurant. He overate, and now I have to nurse him through food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 421

You deserved it 243

By foreveralone - 13/01/2014 01:00 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 231

You deserved it 7 147

By Glutton - 28/01/2010 01:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 258

You deserved it 49 592

Survival mode

By Anonymous - 28/09/2023 10:00 - Germany

Today, my boyfriend scolded me for asking whether he’d like his favorite soup for lunch when he was, "in absolutely no shape to survive ingesting food." Two hours later he's greedily digging into an almost expired pack of cheap and nasty supermarket waffles from out of his bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 103

By n - 04/04/2015 18:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend made me breakfast because I had a cold. Because my nose was so stuffed, I couldn't tell that our milk had gone bad. I had two cups. And now I'm stuck on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 123

You deserved it 3 503

By SonofMnemosyne - 19/11/2018 07:30 - United States

Today, I have been on the toilet all day due to chocolate laxatives from trick-or-treating. Today, it is my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 529

You deserved it 311

Next

Top comments

CheaRight 0

Thursday 17 February 2011 16:08

At least he knows girls poop.. Remember the girl that had to use the gas station to poop because her boyfriend thought girls didn't poop? Would you prefer that?

Southerndatageek 2

Thursday 17 February 2011 17:02

I would dump him like a load of poop for giving me meds of any type without my knowledge. There is something just a little twisted in giving your girlfriend laxatives without her knowledge. Makes one wonder what else he has given you.

Comments

Drnightingale 4

Sunday 22 January 2012 21:39

Haha I wish it was possible to "like" FMLs

hapy_pig098 13

Tuesday 16 October 2012 6:57

Probably wanted you to react 2 girls 1 cup video

paprika_pilipili_fml 14

Tuesday 18 December 2012 1:12

It's cute that he tried to help you... Too bad he chose this way, though. :)

ryebread94 9

Tuesday 14 May 2013 20:12

I could see my boyfriend doing this to me...I'm so sorry.

kappinlivy 9

Friday 9 August 2013 0:48

Tell your boyfriend to stop being turned on by explosive diarrhea!

gabbi_savv 8

Thursday 22 August 2013 5:34

At least he cares? It's better then him just doing it as a prank!

gracie_mae 4

Tuesday 29 April 2014 23:29

this is a red flag that he is a controlling person. dump him before it's to late

refticon 31

Monday 12 May 2014 10:13

Haha, I thought it would be about getting the calories outside the body xD

antisocialfly 4

Monday 9 June 2014 8:19

but at least he cares ?

NamelessFace 22

Friday 6 February 2015 1:37

He's a little on the crazy side.

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Today, I found out my niece will born in about two weeks. That's nice, right? It is… except for the fact that there will now be FIVE people in my family with a birthday in May. As if trying to plan for four birthday parties in three weeks wasn't bad enough. Why not five? FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 412

Today, I was eating ice cream and struggling to chew a particularly hard chunk of chocolate. After finally breaking it into pieces, I spat it out because it tasted terrible. Then I discovered that I was missing my temporary crown. Now I have no upper molar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 195

You deserved it 6 414

The Top

Today, my parents lectured me about how my girlfriend will ruin my life, because she's a single mom, a recovering alcoholic, and has chronic health issues. Apparently, I should be with their friend's rude, trashy daughter, who can't keep a job, and goes on a drunken, drug-fueled bender every other week. I'm 31. FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 161

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I agree, your life sucks 4 162

You deserved it 313

Today, I went on a trip to DC. When I got back I found out my car was stolen. Apparently they didn't know how to drive a stick because it was only 4 blocks from my house and the engine was blown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 275

You deserved it 2 347

Today, in the middle of an argument with my wife, our autistic son started calling out tennis scores, which turned out to be his way of keeping score of who was winning the argument. Apparently, by the end, it was 40-love approaching server's deuce point, which I think means I lost the argument badly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 626

You deserved it 191

Today, I heard my 7 year-old step-daughter tell her father over Zoom she cries every night, because she wants to go home with him. I don't have the heart to tell her that he had kicked her and her mom out of the house because he thought mom's stretch marks were unattractive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 244

You deserved it 103

Today, after finishing an essay at the library, I fell asleep and had a dream about the essay crawling out through my laptop screen and trying to kill me. I woke by the librarian shaking me and telling me to stop screaming. I was mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 029

You deserved it 4 837