Today, my boyfriend fed me chocolate chip cookies with laxatives in them because he was concerned I did not poop enough. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend made me a latte. It tasted off, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I drank it. Turns out he put laxatives in it as a prank. The idiot couldn’t just use one or two. He used so many that I had to go to the ER for severe dehydration after puking and shitting for hours. FML
Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML
Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when my boyfriend called me, saying his parents are in town and want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. FML
Today, my boyfriend had to give me an enema. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend out to dinner to an expensive restaurant. He overate, and now I have to nurse him through food poisoning. FML
Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend scolded me for asking whether he’d like his favorite soup for lunch when he was, "in absolutely no shape to survive ingesting food." Two hours later he's greedily digging into an almost expired pack of cheap and nasty supermarket waffles from out of his bag. FML
Today, my boyfriend made me breakfast because I had a cold. Because my nose was so stuffed, I couldn't tell that our milk had gone bad. I had two cups. And now I'm stuck on the toilet. FML
Today, I have been on the toilet all day due to chocolate laxatives from trick-or-treating. Today, it is my birthday. FML
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Top comments
CheaRight 0
At least he knows girls poop.. Remember the girl that had to use the gas station to poop because her boyfriend thought girls didn't poop? Would you prefer that?
Southerndatageek 2
I would dump him like a load of poop for giving me meds of any type without my knowledge. There is something just a little twisted in giving your girlfriend laxatives without her knowledge. Makes one wonder what else he has given you.
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Comments (131)
FajitaFreak 3
Laxatives = old dried up chocolate. It's not medication. You could eat a ton and the only thing that would happen is you'd go to the bathroom a lot.
nocaduceus 0
So untrue. Constant uncontrolled diarrhea can lead to significant electrolyte loss and dehydration. It's why people can die from laxative abuse.
iiiiiiiirediiiii 0
Well obviously he wants you to take a dump on his chest. Quit being a tease and deliver already
screamo_neve 12
Well, at least he was concerned about you... Hahaha...
aniyah_xox 0
that's the way the cookie crumbles!! c[x
atariangel 0
That's sweet
Gut_fml 4
LAWL
alyssagruver 0
it's just another type of loovvee(:
Jenny_jen_fml 0
maybe he wants u to loose some weight
ZaraMarieSwag 0
At least he cares...
awesomelikethat 0
Aww his concern is nice.