What is it now?

By Anonymous - 29/12/2022 21:00

Today, while staying at my mother’s house, she messaged me at 5:45 a.m. saying she “desperately” needed my help. I rushed over to her, only to find out she'd lied. She actually wanted me to help clean her garbage dump of a room. I’m starting to remember why I don’t visit often. FML
I agree, your life sucks 897
You deserved it 110

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Sucks that your mom feels like she needs to deceive you to get your help. Can you not just communicate like adults?

While that’s not something my own Mom would likely do to me, it does remind me why it’s nice to live a comfortable distance away. Ideally you are far enough away to avoid unexpected dropping by or frequent demands for things like this… The truth is however that I grew up a couple houses away from my Dad’s parents and I don’t think it was ever this kind of problem. I would have felt comfortable living across the street from Dad, but with Mom sometimes it’s nice to live one state away… There comes a time in our lives when we have to say no to parents sometimes. It’s not easy - They are our parents and often they know what makes us respond the way they want. And sometimes there are legitimate emergencies… OP, you have my sympathies. It seems Mom can be over-dramatic at times or might just plain lie to get you to do what she wants. You have to set some reasonable boundaries and stick to them except for genuine emergencies. I am guessing that Mom is living alone now and that makes these things happen more often. There is a big difference between lying and manipulative behavior and dementia - I suggest you think clearly and carefully to see which this is. If you think this might be dementia, you may want to get Mom to see a doctor for evaluation - Without telling Mom until she has been evaluated.

Comments

While that’s not something my own Mom would likely do to me, it does remind me why it’s nice to live a comfortable distance away. Ideally you are far enough away to avoid unexpected dropping by or frequent demands for things like this… The truth is however that I grew up a couple houses away from my Dad’s parents and I don’t think it was ever this kind of problem. I would have felt comfortable living across the street from Dad, but with Mom sometimes it’s nice to live one state away… There comes a time in our lives when we have to say no to parents sometimes. It’s not easy - They are our parents and often they know what makes us respond the way they want. And sometimes there are legitimate emergencies… OP, you have my sympathies. It seems Mom can be over-dramatic at times or might just plain lie to get you to do what she wants. You have to set some reasonable boundaries and stick to them except for genuine emergencies. I am guessing that Mom is living alone now and that makes these things happen more often. There is a big difference between lying and manipulative behavior and dementia - I suggest you think clearly and carefully to see which this is. If you think this might be dementia, you may want to get Mom to see a doctor for evaluation - Without telling Mom until she has been evaluated.

Sucks that your mom feels like she needs to deceive you to get your help. Can you not just communicate like adults?

She didn't lie. She desperately needed your help to clean her room. That's on you for not asking what she needed help with before you went over.

Sounds like she is suffering from depression in which case the moment she has motivation is the moment she needs help to keep her motivated and focused and not overwhelmed.