Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend came over for dinner, but couldn't eat because...

By Anonymous - 24/03/2009 10:41 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend came over for dinner, but couldn't eat because he had just gotten his tongue pierced. My grandpa heard this, winked at my boyfriend and said "Can't eat now, but I bet that's all you'll be doing in a few weeks..." My super protective father was sitting right next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 935

You deserved it 9 581

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Same thing different taste

Not now!

By XxDiabolikalXx - 24/08/2010 07:30 - France

Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 772

You deserved it 4 322

By quit fucking up my life - 23/11/2013 01:08 - United States - Kenai

Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 649

You deserved it 4 912

By perfectman - 12/06/2012 10:34 - Australia - Sydney

Today, it was my first time meeting my fiancé's parents. My future mother-in-law had cooked steak, hearing it was my favourite food. I somehow managed to bite my tongue, and then blurt out "Fuck!" just after she asked me how it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 294

You deserved it 8 367

Love and threats

By soontobedumped - 15/01/2012 19:26 - United States

Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed fuck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 868

You deserved it 4 876

By coffee_princess - 22/07/2010 23:14 - Canada

Today, my father made his bellybutton talk. In front of my new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 937

You deserved it 4 462

Good question

By epictothemax - 10/03/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, I went home for my grandma's 95th birthday. While there she noticed my new tongue stud and asked why I would get it done. Before I could reply, my cousin said, "So she can can make the boys happier when she's sucking on them." She's 9 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 115

You deserved it 13 173

Meet the family

By OhMeGerd - 05/10/2012 14:56 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 478

You deserved it 29 002

By notsoclean - 24/12/2010 21:14 - United States

Today, I was at the dentist's, getting my teeth cleaned. He thought it would be funny to suddenly go on in detail about the fantastic sex he and his wife had the night before. I was unable to speak the entire time. The dentist is my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 464

You deserved it 3 694

Will you…

By why - 17/08/2013 14:18 - United States - Lexington

Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 541

You deserved it 7 388

By moonstone15 - 06/08/2011 00:24 - United States

Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 212

You deserved it 4 245

tehhotness 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 20:11

Your grandpa rules

McZeal 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 20:24

grandpa's a pimp

Comments

McZeal 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 20:24

grandpa's a pimp

sexxxy_lexxxy 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 20:31

your grandpa is ******* awesome.

blouuu_fml 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 20:31

That was more embarrassing for your boyfriend than it was for you, I'm sure!

jwesburn 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 20:34

If a girl has a tongue ring she'll probably suck your dick. If a guy has a tongue ring, he'll probably suck your dick.

dowhatiwant 0

Thursday 19 August 2010 6:45

exactly. what kind of guy gets a tongue piercing?? must be some weird bi or something

tsume24 3

Friday 15 July 2011 1:10

I'm a female, and my tongue piercing is purely ornamental with a beautiful piece of jewelry in it. is that really so unheard of? not everyone gets their tongue pierced "to suck dick." god that's such a close-minded assumption.

aerosparrow 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 20:35

Yeah, thats pretty awesome of your grandpa. He was probably ******* with your dad, too. I hope I have a good sense of humor when I'm old.

nahgemsoohc 0

Sunday 21 August 2011 18:17

I guess if you have it, you have it for life:)

Shadowflames420 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 20:35

Better start going clean shave Make it easier.

laxbrosive 4

Monday 5 May 2014 0:56

trucanadian 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 20:37

i thought all old people were super conservatives and never knew teens did this stuff...

hootersgirl09 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 20:40

Hahaha. And to the people who say it's not, this IS an FML. Read between the lines, it's suggesting that her boyfriend is going to eat her out and her over protective dad is right there. Sooo awkward.

couldbeworse55 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 20:40

Or perhaps gramps thinks this kid could be hungry for some actual food? I hope you made the moment incredibly awkward. oh well, enjoy it while ya can!