Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close...

By Kwalker3 - 06/05/2012 06:39 - United States - Tracy

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 398

You deserved it 4 138

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

By thisblows - 16/03/2011 16:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 815

You deserved it 8 735

By anonymous - 08/12/2011 10:37 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. As soon as I began to climax, he started repeatedly asking, "Are you done? Are you done yet? Are you done?" Well, NOW I am. Thanks, honey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 138

You deserved it 4 288

What is it?

By Anonymous - 06/08/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 129

You deserved it 8 212

By Anonymous - 18/08/2019 06:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he finished before me. I thought that he was going to try and get hard again so we could continue. Unfortunately, he turned to me and said to me, "Don't worry, I'll re-spawn in a few minutes." I lost it completely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 985

You deserved it 514

Romantic afterglow

By easyontheeyes1 - 01/05/2020 02:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Immediately after we'd finished, he said, "Get off, you're making it hard to breathe on top of me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 755

You deserved it 476

Not now, Yoda

By iwassoclose - 10/04/2013 16:32 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is." Orgasm gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 757

You deserved it 8 804

Actor's Studio

By darthmilfious - 31/03/2010 07:56 - France

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 676

You deserved it 69 089

By Anonymous - 25/06/2015 03:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 480

You deserved it 5 013

Sexy catboys rule my life

By verno02 - 10/08/2010 23:58 - Canada

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He's the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 105

You deserved it 8 799

By Anonymous - 10/02/2012 05:31 - United States

Today, things were getting hot with my boyfriend and I started to breathe heavy and moan. He then says to me, "Babe, can you calm down, we're having sex not running a marathon." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 961

You deserved it 7 281

llamafish 25

Sunday 6 May 2012 15:43

He must have learned from online ****.

Hon3y_schnucums 1

Sunday 6 May 2012 15:48

The next time your ontop and he's close go "If you'd like to see more buy a subscription for only 59.99 for two months" ahah

Comments

ShutUpAndStare 7

Sunday 6 May 2012 23:03

Bad joke eel to the rescue!

arlo1024 0

Sunday 6 May 2012 23:38

Like a boss

Vaginabutter 15

Sunday 6 May 2012 23:56

I think he needs to upgrade his "hardware".

TarieBoo 2

Monday 7 May 2012 0:10

"going no where since we reached the climax"....

Colonel_Lexi 18

Monday 7 May 2012 5:07

93-I think you mean "going nowhere fast, we've reached the climax"

jaredofmo 22

Monday 7 May 2012 0:58

The FML doesn't specify if OP is a guy or girl. Probably a girl, but a whole lot of these comments would be weird if it was a guy.

amandalynn120 2

Monday 7 May 2012 2:37

What does buffering mean?

Thunderflex 0

Monday 7 May 2012 3:00

I did the same thing before super funny but I said would u like to try this move I seen lmao

Thuban 0

Monday 7 May 2012 5:18

What a dick move.

Snazzy_Snaz 17

Monday 7 May 2012 6:04

LLLAAAGGGG

austin101123 3

Monday 7 May 2012 6:17

Lol, I do the same kind of joke when people try to show me something. I'm like, "Wait, my eyes are buffering.

Keywords

Video games Annoying Gamers Birthday Relatable Abuse Money Social Media Scams Parents Kids School Education Health Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Music Geek Poopoo peepee Jewelry Awkward Transportation Bikes Cops Family Fight Customers Work Gross

The Top

Today, I was stuck with a coworker all morning while she had the "front farts." I moved to a different area after lunch, only to have another coworker start talking loudly about her boyfriend's skin tags, and how he likes to have her bite them off. I'm so disgusted but afraid to report it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 86

Today, so… you know how sometimes girls give the weird guys a chance and it works out beautifully and they marry, have kids, and live happily ever after. Yeah, didn’t work for me. I gave the weird guy from work a chance and he asked if he could lick my armpits on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 553

You deserved it 119

The Top

Today, a young woman on the subway asked me to hold her pocket mirror open in front of her. I asked why. She replied: "It's easier to pop my pimples." FML

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 64

Today, my girlfriend wanted to play a game call "bondage bingo," taking turns tying each other up in different positions, and if we can’t escape, we get to take a picture. Whoever gets the most pictures wins. After tying me to a chair, she ended up leaving me there for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 067

You deserved it 617

Today, I spent an hour and twenty minutes throwing up at a toilet from a shopping mall because I ate rotten food without realizing it. At least during that time I made two new friends, a gay couple who were making out in the next toilet cubicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 892

You deserved it 99

Today, I woke to find my boyfriend of 2 years gone. I saw my little sister's talking bear at the bottom of my bed, it said "squeeze me" so I squeezed it and it said "it's over." It was my boyfriends voice. I was dumped by a talking bear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 203

You deserved it 4 907

Today while I was about to go into the shower, my mom walked in on me while I was naked. She looked down and asked me if I was cold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 062

You deserved it 255

Today, I switched from pads to tampons. It took me several botched attempts trying insert one before I succeeded, and now I feel like I've just raped myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 593

You deserved it 13 837