Today, my boyfriend and I were choosing animals that reminded us of eachother. I said he reminded me of a tiger because he is really muscular. He told me I reminded him of a zebra. When I asked him why, he said it was because of my stretchmarks. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, after feeling a little down about myself and looking for comfort from my boyfriend, he told me that my stretch marks make me look like a tiger. FML
Today, while changing my clothes, my 3 year-old daughter informed me that I looked like a zebra. Noticing my shocked face, she tried comforting me by telling me I was a pretty zebra because I was a purple zebra. She was talking about my stretch marks. FML
Today, my husband called me “my little zebra”. I gave birth a month ago, and I’ve kept a few stretch marks. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked my dad why he gave me the nickname "Bear," which he has called me since I was very little. My dad responded, "Because she has a hairy back." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling and telling eachother nice things. The nicest thing he could think of to say to me was "Well, I see you shaved your mustache." FML
Today, as I was walking out of a restaurant with my boyfriend, I saw some guys checking me out. One of them walked up to my boyfriend and said, "Dude, you and your girlfriend have matching moustaches!" FML
Today, I realized I have more in common with a cantaloupe than I do with my boyfriend. FML
Today, I showed my boyfriend the new tattoo of a butterfly that I'd gotten on my lower back. He said, "It looks like it's flying when your rolls jiggle." FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he was growing a mustache, as he had whiskers. He looked at me and said "No, but apparently you are." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were in Victoria's Secret. I saw a picture of a model and said, "I wish I looked like that." He replied with, "Me too." FML
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Top comments
eeejit0102 0
#5, stretchmarks don't occur just because she's "let herself go" - don't be so insensitive. girls naturally get curvier (hips, breasts) during puberty and it can take a few years after puberty is done for them to TOTALLY disappear. they don't need to be reddish - often when they're old they're skin-colored and not as easy to detect. don't be such a prick.
OhHai 0
Ouch...........
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Comments (106)
hellokittywhore 0
I've heard this one twice accually, COPYCAT!!!!!!
Dewaune 0
And i bet your still with him huh?
MusicLover1o1_fml 0
It seems almost every FML is about stretchmarks nowadays. Time for a new years resolution. FML. :c
stevenmx86 8
Lmao ydi
harmonyrulez 0
Lmao that is hilarious.... But for some reason, when I read thisx I didn't imagine him as an asshole, but as extremely naive.... So maybe, he's not rude but just really, really dumb... I recommend explaining to him how much of an insult that is... Maybe he'll understand thee error of his ways and try his best to correct (*wink*) it....
lucyinthesky420 10
Cocoa butter. Nuff said.
Steffi 26
Coco butter isn't a magic cure that gets rid of stretch marks in all people.
scotchnacid 4
He's a heartless ahole, time to leave him op
gk1995 4
He does not appreciate you.
Steffi 26
My mother called me a zebra because of mine :(. I feel your pain OP.
rock4climber 9
ohh the dreaded stretch marks i have them on my legs so i guess ill wear longer shorts... through the summer... the hot summer...