Today, my boyfriend and I had the wildest sex we'd ever had....

By jokersgirl - 21/05/2019 04:00

Today, my boyfriend and I had the wildest sex we'd ever had. I was on top of him and started going at it like crazy. I was close to finishing when the Mortal Kombat phrase "FINISH HIM!" popped into my head. It wasn't until I saw a weird look on his face that I realized I'd said it out loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 293

You deserved it 884

Fête Nationale: Fireworks and Faux Pas
Celebrate the nation with stories where it's not just fireworks that sparkle! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 25/10/2014 02:48 - United States - Gainesboro

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. In the heat of the moment, I said his name. He immediately stopped, gave me a deadly serious look and said "Huh? What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 243

You deserved it 4 941

Repetition

By Fuck - 25/02/2015 21:39 - United States - Fowler

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 798

You deserved it 4 449

By Anonymous - 21/09/2011 13:17 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, and started to climb on top of him sexily. He blurted out, "Oh my god, you're like that girl from The Ring." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 773

You deserved it 6 217

By Anonymous - 25/06/2015 03:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 533

You deserved it 5 026

Inspired

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 06:24 - France

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 613

You deserved it 22 362

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 333

You deserved it 2 772

Funny guy

By Anonymous - 09/09/2022 02:00 - United States - Lima

Today, my boyfriend and I were finishing in the bedroom; he pulled out and finished on my stomach. Then he figured that was the time to quote Shrek, saying, "Better out than in I always say." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 072

You deserved it 368

Turn off

By no no no - 21/03/2023 02:00

Today, my boyfriend decided to "spice up sex" by talking like an anime character. We had to stop after the line, "Your vagina will crumble before the power of my Hypercock!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 131

You deserved it 315

By Anonymous - 18/08/2009 23:45 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, while we changed positions, he shouts, "Power Rangers - It's Morphin' Time!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 954

You deserved it 12 638

By Anonymous - 18/08/2019 06:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he finished before me. I thought that he was going to try and get hard again so we could continue. Unfortunately, he turned to me and said to me, "Don't worry, I'll re-spawn in a few minutes." I lost it completely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 009

You deserved it 520

twin 18

Tuesday 21 May 2019 4:03

that's a win in my book

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Tuesday 21 May 2019 4:49

Jokersgirl wins. FATALITY!!!

Comments

twin 18

Tuesday 21 May 2019 4:03

that's a win in my book

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 21 May 2019 4:17

He’ll get over it.

TxKitten79 10

Tuesday 21 May 2019 4:32

Omg I'm laughing so hard!!! That's awesome!!! I hope y'all had a good laugh about it later.

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Tuesday 21 May 2019 4:49

Jokersgirl wins. FATALITY!!!

GamerChickxoxo 16

Tuesday 21 May 2019 6:12

next time you want some just look at him and say "ROUND 2 FIGHT!"

Charlie Coffman_1920149595 18

Tuesday 21 May 2019 14:27

was it a flawless victory?

bobsanction 18

Tuesday 21 May 2019 14:47

Did you finish him?

blueknight1st 26

Tuesday 21 May 2019 20:26

When he was done did he yell Round 2 Fight!

ViviMage 39

Tuesday 21 May 2019 23:25

Could be worse! Could be Smash Bros with a homerun bat! Or the DK hammer!

Brad Fletcher 4

Wednesday 22 May 2019 1:57

Youre a keeper.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Awkward My ex Music Love AITA Cheating Furniture Introverts Cute Kids Pregnancy Health Healthy Lifestyle Weird Food Sextoys Delivery Social Media Intimacy Cats Relatable Animals Annoying Stuck Work Dogs Gross Embarrassing Toilet

The Top

Today, and after a lot of effort to reconnect with my family after a while of limited contact, I found out from the family group text that my mom, sister, and grandmother went on a vacation without me, and I didn’t even know about it until they posted some airport selfies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 298

Today, I’ve been systematically sharing stories and posts about how love sucks and man-bashing memes so that my crush would regret his decision about rejecting me and choosing another girl over me. He DM’ed me : “Getting tired of your shit Melissa, I’m blocking you.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 1 043

The Top

Today, I finally got past my anxiety and confessed my feelings to the guy I like and have been intimate with. He responded that he just still wants to be close friends with me and still bang me monogamously, but with no relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 122

You deserved it 541

Today, a group of angry women stormed my boss’s office, complaining I was harassing them and peeping through their windows. I'm a window washer, and these women never buy curtains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 842

You deserved it 142

Today, I was on hold with a company for so long that I was able to shower, clean my house, and was using the hold music to put my son to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 452

You deserved it 1 953

Today, it was snowing really badly, so my boss said that everyone who drove to work could leave. But because I got the bus in, she said that I should stay and do a full day. By the time she eventually decided it was bad enough for me to leave, the buses were cancelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 079

You deserved it 2 312

Today, I finally worked up the courage to start a Facebook chat with a guy I really like. It went so well, and he even agreed to hang out sometime. Seconds after we finished our conversation, he changed his status to, "Desperate bitches really piss me off." FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 030

You deserved it 7 712

Today, I went to my girlfriend's and she was wearing some sexy lingerie. After making out passionately for 10 minutes, I started to undress myself, only to have her stop me, confessed that she still wasn't sexually attracted to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 332

You deserved it 4 024