Today, my boss became obsessed with a movie about a pimp. He now refers to all my female coworkers as his "bitches" and refuses to treat us like human beings. Whenever we make a mistake, he rolls his eyes and laughs, "So typical of a prostie." FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML
Today, my boss sent me to a meeting with a client I've never met to do some damage control and renegotiate his contract. For two hours, he alternated between threatening to sue us, and making vulgar comments about raping me in his office. FML
Today, I had my boss over for dinner. Knowing that I was angling for a promotion, my fifteen-year-old son spent the dinner uttering lines such as "What's the point of showering before bed?" and "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." My boss was not impressed. FML
Today, my boss came around to my way of thinking. He called our customers a "bunch of assholes" and to kick them out if they gave me trouble. When a lady began yelling at me for "setting the damn prices too high" I told her to leave. My boss soon bitched me out for being unprofessional. FML
Today, I started my new job at a small business. I was pretty excited to finally be working, until I found out the big boss is a creeper and sees no problem making comments such as "You're way more interesting than the rest of these slope-eyed fucks." FML
Today, my sexist, misogynistic boss showed me a new program we all have to use. After several minutes of him explaining it badly and belittling me for doing it wrong, I opened a sub-folder that showed that I CREATED THE PROGRAM. He walked away, then later wrote me up for "having a bad attitude." FML
Today, at my job as a movie theater attendant, my boss finally eased up and let me sit in on one of the movies. One woman kept laughing out loud every other line. After ten minutes of her braying like a dying horse, I got up and had her ejected from the theater. I'm a terrible person. FML
Today, my lazy manager, who blatantly spreads vicious rumors about employees, one which has ruined a marriage, has started targeting me because her lazy daughter was legally fired. Now I'm known around the office as "the whore who slept her way up the corporate ladder." FML
Today, my boss keeps pointing out similarities between his wife and me. I genuinely dislike her, and have feelings for him. FML
Today, my boss bragged to a coworker, in front of me, about how much money he saved on a project because he majorly underpays me. My boss is my dad. FML
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Top comments
TheArchAngel 8
He's no pimp without the slap.
TheElderTROLLZ 15
Does he pimp slap you too?
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Comments (229)
coconutdaydream 7
Today, I decided my life was so boring, I posted an FML depicting a situation off a TV show just to get some attention off of strangers on the Internet, FML
gracehi 33
You should have a recording device on you next time you interact with him. Get cold hard evidence against him to present to his boss, the human resources department, and the judge, of course.
gracehi 33
Actually, better yet, just slap him ' cross his stupid face and shout, "Whose the BITCH now???" Then walk out never to return...like a boss.
Myo_fml 20
Who's*** Also, you already had a perfectly valid comment earning thumbs ups, why post this unfunny and unhelpful mess?
gracehi 33
Well, it SEEMED like a good idea at the time...
eightmile1987 8
sounds like sexual harassment
Anubis_81 21
I don't how you and your coworkers let him get away with it.
downtime 13
Actually that's just harrassment, since its not really sexual in nature. And since when does inappropriately using movie references in an office make it okay to assault someone? If you want to go bitching about harassment laws you probably shouldn't be suggesting violent responses. The two are like mixing oil based lube and condoms, everything just falls apart and nobody wins.
mayyberry 4
Uh I think your boss has some serious issues
gracehi 33
It is DEFINITELY sexual harassment, and yes, VERY sexual in nature.
Dave11967 0
Oh yes that is harrasment on so many levels. If he has a supervisor I would goto them and maybe a layer
gabe222 25
Lawyer*, have no idea how one goes to a layer lol
newburton13 26
Alright, all together now: *ahem* LAWSUIT!!!
mellophone21 0
Easy lawsuit....easy money...