Today, my boss became obsessed with a movie about a pimp. He now refers to all my female coworkers as his "bitches" and refuses to treat us like human beings. Whenever we make a mistake, he rolls his eyes and laughs, "So typical of a prostie." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML
Today, my boss sent me to a meeting with a client I've never met to do some damage control and renegotiate his contract. For two hours, he alternated between threatening to sue us, and making vulgar comments about raping me in his office. FML
Today, I had my boss over for dinner. Knowing that I was angling for a promotion, my fifteen-year-old son spent the dinner uttering lines such as "What's the point of showering before bed?" and "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." My boss was not impressed. FML
Today, my boss came around to my way of thinking. He called our customers a "bunch of assholes" and to kick them out if they gave me trouble. When a lady began yelling at me for "setting the damn prices too high" I told her to leave. My boss soon bitched me out for being unprofessional. FML
Today, I started my new job at a small business. I was pretty excited to finally be working, until I found out the big boss is a creeper and sees no problem making comments such as "You're way more interesting than the rest of these slope-eyed fucks." FML
Today, my sexist, misogynistic boss showed me a new program we all have to use. After several minutes of him explaining it badly and belittling me for doing it wrong, I opened a sub-folder that showed that I CREATED THE PROGRAM. He walked away, then later wrote me up for "having a bad attitude." FML
Today, at my job as a movie theater attendant, my boss finally eased up and let me sit in on one of the movies. One woman kept laughing out loud every other line. After ten minutes of her braying like a dying horse, I got up and had her ejected from the theater. I'm a terrible person. FML
Today, my lazy manager, who blatantly spreads vicious rumors about employees, one which has ruined a marriage, has started targeting me because her lazy daughter was legally fired. Now I'm known around the office as "the whore who slept her way up the corporate ladder." FML
Today, my boss keeps pointing out similarities between his wife and me. I genuinely dislike her, and have feelings for him. FML
Today, my boss bragged to a coworker, in front of me, about how much money he saved on a project because he majorly underpays me. My boss is my dad. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
TheArchAngel 8
He's no pimp without the slap.
TheElderTROLLZ 15
Does he pimp slap you too?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (229)
Spicemelon 5
Gators bitches better be wearing jimmies!!
Spicemelon 5
Using*
kandi_kid69 15
Copy cat. ._.
dellis44 7
it'd make sense if you worked at a brothel. but since you dont, fyl
yesibby760 0
does he have cane ?! : ) hyfr!
kyle2143 0
I've never heard story filled with such obvious bs, you could at least try to make us think this actually happened.
jrobledo117 2
FML mods can suck my dick! Yeah there I said it you pieces of donkey dick
22cute 17
I would consider making HIM look for a new job. That's a lawsuit waiting for a lawyer. He's crossing all kinds of legal rights lines.
Oceansnipe17 8
That's sexual harassment I'd file a case against him
br0ccoli 15
A pimp?? You should kick him in the kneecap so he can have that signature pimp walk, too.
Anai08 17
So your boss likes his jokes, eh? You should tell the people in your HR department his jokes, I'm sure they'd find them real funny...
cmac86 24
That's something I'd bring up with human resources. If nothing comes of that I'd talk to a lawyer or ACLU or OSHA or something.
Llamacod 11
OSHA, seriously