Today, my boss at my new job asked whether I was fitting in OK. The company is Swedish, so as a joke, I said that at home I now serve all my food as a smorgasbord, chew on fermented herring and Daim chocolate bars, and buy all my furniture at Ikea. She didn't see the funny side. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to a business meeting over lunch. My new employer seemed normal enough while we were eating, but now I have received messages about how he will buy me new clothes, and we can rent a camping car and go to festivals next year. All I wanted was a job. FML
Today, I had the questionable honor of explaining the difference between "your" and "you're" to my boss, and very diplomatically make her see why her poor grasp of language could affect our credibility as a communication agency. I'm Swedish, and English is my third language. She's American. FML
Today, my boss introduced a new hire and said, “You two will get along great.” I tried to make small talk, tripped over the recycling bin, and spilled paper everywhere. The new hire said, “So… is this, like, normal around here?” Unfortunately, yes. FML
Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML
Today, on my first day of a new factory job, I discovered that my new boss had lied to me about my hours. I found this out when my coworkers burst out laughing when I mentioned having the weekends off, and talking about my recreational plans. FML
Today, my boss was hosting some client representatives for a meeting and had offered to buy everyone lunch. The "healthy" place he's ordering from made me sick last time, so I'd politely opted out. At lunch, the reps glared at me in the meeting room as I ate my homemade chili con carne. Turns out they're all vegans. FML
Today, making small talk with my coworkers, I said a restaurant I'd tried recently was "superb". They all gave me weird looks, and one said, "Someone's trying too hard to sound smart." Now I've got a rep as a pseudo-intellectual douchebag. FML
Today, a customer asked me if we serve spaghetti. She then asked for a manager because I was giving her a weird look, laughing softly when telling her yes, and apparently making her feel stupid. My manager wrote me up. I work at the Old Spaghetti Factory. FML
Today, at my new job at a funeral home, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't "lighten the hell up" while dealing with our grieving clients. FML
Today, I was getting lunch at a fast food restaurant. My boss was in front of me, and in order to get on his good side I offered to pay. Instead, I got fired because I guess my boss assumed I was making fun of his salary, which I knew nothing about. FML
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Top comments
HULK_SMASH_ 7
Neither do I.
ThatsHowItsDoneS 2
I think your boss was looking for just a yes or no answer
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Comments (176)
na1r0d_fml 0
You had to feel so stupid!
redrumbear 9
A simple yes would've sufficed
nelds 12
Maybe saying one of those things would have been funny. Not all of them, then they sound like an insult to their culture.
Aratiti 8
I'm Swedish and I approve!
ToniTigger 3
I didn't find it funny because you went on and on. Should've just picked one thing; "Yes, I only eat at smorgasbords now!"
immaMonsta 8
Neither do I, what was the funny part?
iHateHippiesToo 6
When did "Swedish" become a race?
Mikeskinner 7
When they were labeled Aryan. About the same time German was considered a race.
soldiat_fml 17
I'm sorry, but I don't see the funny side either.
Svamal 2
I'm Swedish and I have never eaten fermented herring and we actually don't eat "smörgåsbord" that much, but I would still have laughed. Isn't it meatballs and polarbears that's typical swedish?
Roflsauruz 12
Actually, I'm not Swedish but my family almost always eats Smörgåsbord-style, and I loooove Ikea. If I -was- Swedish though, idk if I would have laughed. People say stupid shit about my home country and it really pisses me off.