Today, my boss at my new job asked whether I was fitting in OK. The company is Swedish, so as a joke, I said that at home I now serve all my food as a smorgasbord, chew on fermented herring and Daim chocolate bars, and buy all my furniture at Ikea. She didn't see the funny side. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to a business meeting over lunch. My new employer seemed normal enough while we were eating, but now I have received messages about how he will buy me new clothes, and we can rent a camping car and go to festivals next year. All I wanted was a job. FML
Today, I had the questionable honor of explaining the difference between "your" and "you're" to my boss, and very diplomatically make her see why her poor grasp of language could affect our credibility as a communication agency. I'm Swedish, and English is my third language. She's American. FML
Today, my boss introduced a new hire and said, “You two will get along great.” I tried to make small talk, tripped over the recycling bin, and spilled paper everywhere. The new hire said, “So… is this, like, normal around here?” Unfortunately, yes. FML
Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML
Today, on my first day of a new factory job, I discovered that my new boss had lied to me about my hours. I found this out when my coworkers burst out laughing when I mentioned having the weekends off, and talking about my recreational plans. FML
Today, my boss was hosting some client representatives for a meeting and had offered to buy everyone lunch. The "healthy" place he's ordering from made me sick last time, so I'd politely opted out. At lunch, the reps glared at me in the meeting room as I ate my homemade chili con carne. Turns out they're all vegans. FML
Today, making small talk with my coworkers, I said a restaurant I'd tried recently was "superb". They all gave me weird looks, and one said, "Someone's trying too hard to sound smart." Now I've got a rep as a pseudo-intellectual douchebag. FML
Today, a customer asked me if we serve spaghetti. She then asked for a manager because I was giving her a weird look, laughing softly when telling her yes, and apparently making her feel stupid. My manager wrote me up. I work at the Old Spaghetti Factory. FML
Today, at my new job at a funeral home, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't "lighten the hell up" while dealing with our grieving clients. FML
Today, I was getting lunch at a fast food restaurant. My boss was in front of me, and in order to get on his good side I offered to pay. Instead, I got fired because I guess my boss assumed I was making fun of his salary, which I knew nothing about. FML
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Top comments
HULK_SMASH_ 7
Neither do I.
ThatsHowItsDoneS 2
I think your boss was looking for just a yes or no answer
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Comments (176)
Arrawyn 12
Come on, some people are waaaay too sensitive. I would laugh my ass of if you said that to me
THE_A_TEEN 28
Would you laugh at stereotypes of your country? Where do you live?
freakysapiens 7
Can see why, all us swedes live like that.
HerrBawl 4
Probably because there isn't one. Had you done a Swedish Chef impression on the other hand . . . . .
ImaginaryFoe 1
Now that would have been funny. "How are you adapting?" "Well! I'm even learning the language: morp, bork, bork." Still a dumb joke to make to your employer but at least it would've been funny. Save your stand-up for your off hours, OP. Stay professional, stay employed.
sceptic 1
******' moron
starwind3438 9
There was a funny side? It sounded like to you were being a stereotypical jerk.
lexanianna 11
I'm Swedish and WOW are you wrong about us. Except for Ikea and Daim because I love both! :)
perdix 31
So, you are saying that the OP was right with 50% of the stereotypes? Batting .500 is awesome in baseball!
lexanianna 11
I'm saying that the stereotype is in general very wrong but it was still pretty funny. I thought so anyway. The joke you pulled on getting anally raped was just pathetic.
perdix 31
Did you read or see The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (Män som hatar kvinnor)?
lexanianna 11
Yes I have. Several times. And I have also been raped. Jokes about being Swedish are great, I have an Australian boyfriend who say we're all vampires and have to import cows. But jokes about rape are just not funny, regardless which movie they are based on.
perdix 31
I'm sorry that happened to you. However, you should have said those jokes are not funny TO YOU. For almost all things comical, there will be a small number offended by the subject matter. If one tried to joke completely non-offensively, it would be boring. You don't see me getting bent out of shape with all of the small penis jokes ... wait, why is the delete key so close to the send key? Wait!!!!
lexanianna 11
Lol yeah I agree with you in one way. Jokes are jokes and shouldn't be looked upon as serious, but there are so many dickheads out there who don't always realise it's a joke (like me in this instance) so having a crack at rapes, suicides or domestic violence and that kind of stuff is just stupid in MY opinion. :)
perdix 31
That's so racist! However, if you said you drove a Volvo and got anally raped like Lisbeth Salander, that would have been funny. Racist, yes, but funny.
lexanianna 11
Are you ******* kidding me?
perdix 31
#65, of course, I am! You should know that by now :)
lexanianna 11
I just don't think rape is something to joke about.
OffToTheGayBar 9
The aliens anally raped me. I, as a survivor, find it utterly hilarious. :|
Devin91 20
Rape is something way to serious to joke about.
reddudeover 2
70/130 I'm not condoning what he said, but I'd venture to say both of you have probably laughed at prison rape jokes at one point or another. Double standard? I think so.
nateb123 4
Racism isn't funny. In fact it's so unfunny that I rape racists.
lexanianna 11
139: I have. Once. When my best friend thought he'd be going to prison I told him not to bend over in the shower. I didn't find it funny but I knew he'd appreciate making fun of the situation rather than making him more depressed by being too serious. He laughed so it worked.
perdix 31
#146, your sef-righteous indignation just fizzled.
ImaginaryFoe 1
I've been beaten, raped, and robbed (mercifully not all at once). If I couldn't find my sense of humour again, I probably would've put a bullet in my brain. Some things hit too close to home for me but I realise that not everyone is in the same place I'm in; someone out there *needs* that joke. There are very few, if any, things in life that should never be joked about.
catkat1988 17
For what it's worth, I thought it was funny and that people should stop being so sensitive about their home countries. If I had been your coworker/boss in a Danish company, and you had said something similar about Denmark to me, I'd have found it funny, or at the very least not inappropriate. Racist? It wasn't like the OP was saying a bunch of bad things about the Swedish people. It's a fact that cultures are different and some things are specific to some countries, and the OP just pointed out some of the things that are Swedish. Getting used to a new country and culture takes a while, which I suppose was why OPs boss asked in the first place, so a more understanding approach would've been to appreciate the effort.
mowmowlife 21
You could apologize to your boss by explaining you only meant that you enjoy it and you meant it as a friendly gesture. I saw nothing wrong with your joke, but maybe her customs (assuming she is Swedish, but I can't tell) consider it rude. And then make some coffee or something :)
Lingonberry 4
Du glömde delen där du rider på isbjörnar till jobbet pucko!
Axia_fml 11
en volvoisbjörn
PaperCandles 0
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