Today, my boss at my new job asked whether I was fitting in OK. The company is Swedish, so as a joke, I said that at home I now serve all my food as a smorgasbord, chew on fermented herring and Daim chocolate bars, and buy all my furniture at Ikea. She didn't see the funny side. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to a business meeting over lunch. My new employer seemed normal enough while we were eating, but now I have received messages about how he will buy me new clothes, and we can rent a camping car and go to festivals next year. All I wanted was a job. FML
Today, I had the questionable honor of explaining the difference between "your" and "you're" to my boss, and very diplomatically make her see why her poor grasp of language could affect our credibility as a communication agency. I'm Swedish, and English is my third language. She's American. FML
Today, my boss introduced a new hire and said, “You two will get along great.” I tried to make small talk, tripped over the recycling bin, and spilled paper everywhere. The new hire said, “So… is this, like, normal around here?” Unfortunately, yes. FML
Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML
Today, on my first day of a new factory job, I discovered that my new boss had lied to me about my hours. I found this out when my coworkers burst out laughing when I mentioned having the weekends off, and talking about my recreational plans. FML
Today, my boss was hosting some client representatives for a meeting and had offered to buy everyone lunch. The "healthy" place he's ordering from made me sick last time, so I'd politely opted out. At lunch, the reps glared at me in the meeting room as I ate my homemade chili con carne. Turns out they're all vegans. FML
Today, making small talk with my coworkers, I said a restaurant I'd tried recently was "superb". They all gave me weird looks, and one said, "Someone's trying too hard to sound smart." Now I've got a rep as a pseudo-intellectual douchebag. FML
Today, a customer asked me if we serve spaghetti. She then asked for a manager because I was giving her a weird look, laughing softly when telling her yes, and apparently making her feel stupid. My manager wrote me up. I work at the Old Spaghetti Factory. FML
Today, at my new job at a funeral home, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't "lighten the hell up" while dealing with our grieving clients. FML
Today, I was getting lunch at a fast food restaurant. My boss was in front of me, and in order to get on his good side I offered to pay. Instead, I got fired because I guess my boss assumed I was making fun of his salary, which I knew nothing about. FML
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Top comments
HULK_SMASH_ 7
Neither do I.
ThatsHowItsDoneS 2
I think your boss was looking for just a yes or no answer
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Comments (176)
lilacgold 16
Yeah, racism is never funny.
Sugah_Shane1 2
Yeah that's pretty poor taste. Especially to your boss
DocBastard 40
It's obviously a joke (and a decent one at that), and anyone who can't see it as such needs to get his head examined. The hyper-obvious stereotype jokes are the best kind. Americans suing everyone, the French surrendering while eating cheese, the perpetually-drunk Irish, the incoherent moronic FML commenter... See what I mean? Hilarious!
Lockjaw2k 5
My wife's Swedish & she doesn't have a sense of humor either. Besides, everyone knows Marabou is better.
Albarufus 13
Just because we dont laugh at all the jokes we hear/read doesn't mean we dont have a sense of humor. Gosh.
Lockjaw2k 5
No, she pretty much doesn't get it. I try to explain, but nothing. Her sister's a bit better since they moved to America when she was quite young.
OfficeNinja 5
You forgot to mention Swedish fish. That little mistake killed the joke.
DocBastard 40
Alan - Swedish fish are a type of candy. *sigh* Brits...
DocBastard 40
Thank god. It's always better with the mods' interference...er, I mean assistance. Uh...wait, someone's calling. WHAT? YEAH I'LL BE RIGHT THERE! *moves to Swaziland*
gemsweater 4
Swedish fish don't exist in Sweden. Haha.
ToniTigger 3
Yes, we do but they're not called Swedish fish.
mowmowlife 21
It would have just been funnier because they're deliberately called swedish fish and not necessarily related to their culture D: You could have made the joke merely about swedish fish!
dotar_fml 23
I'm Swedish and I see the funny side of it ;)
carcar54 1
Really people it was a JOKE. Everyone is way too serious, if you can't laugh at yourself who can you laugh at! Go work for a company that has a sense of humor op.
Sexy_Smurf 16
It's funny OP, and I gotta admit I laughed... hard.... but YDI - she was trying to be nice and you just took her down! hahaha! Cheers for the chuckle though ;o) xx
stevenmx86 8
Hur hur yer joke was sooooo funny OP, muh gurd!
Zachthejoker 10
Now you ****** up!