Today, my boss asked me to take some of the female mannequins and change the outfits. As I was changing them, I realized that this was the most action I've gotten in almost a year. Not only am I twenty-seven, but I'm married. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was at my retail job and we had to change the mannequin's outfit. I had to hold her while my manager grabbed the new outfit. I rested my head on her naked plastic chest, and it was the closest I've got to affection in years. FML
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Today, my 70-year-old boss asked me to order sexy lingerie she saw on the cover a magazine. FML
Today, waking up I noticed that my female boss had texted me during the night, telling me she wants me bad. I'm a woman, happily married to a man, and now have to turn her down somehow and not get fired in the process. FML
Today, I was working by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated, I started to moan and say dirty things… Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML
Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML
Today, my boss walked in my office to see me busy making a little Post-it dress for my pen. FML
Today, I came to work ready to impress my boss. A couple of weeks ago I asked him for a promotion from stock to sales and I have been proving myself worthy. Turns out he hired a new girl for sales, with great, big, fake breasts. FML
Today, I went to work to find my creepy boss sitting in my office. I work the night shift, so it was very unusual to find him there. I asked how he was, and he replied, "I told my wife about us; she kicked me out." I've been working there a month. Also, I'm married and pregnant. So, excuse me, "US?" FML
Today, my family and I went to the mall. We all split up in a department store to shop for our own clothes. While shopping, I caught my dad feeling up a mannequin in the back corner of the store. FML
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Top comments
coldplaylive2003 0
You should dress up as a pirate and get in bed with your wife because today's international talk like a pirate day I spy some booty in your future arrrr
bubblybrooke 12
so tonight, go home and seduce her. simple.
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Comments (51)
Ashley868 10
You consider changing mannequins as getting actions.... wow.
phatdaddy62 23
Who said getting married meant you were going to have sex???? Welcome to the real world!
amphetamine_fml 0
you deserve to have you dick ripped off and be ****** analy with it for being such a cheap bastardp
jchansfan 0
I hate these "Today while doing blah blah blah I realized that I am pathetic" type FMLs. Its like "Suck it up, its no one's fault but you're own. Instead of whining about it on the internet, why don't you try fixing the problem." Haha... And no I'm not taking this too seriously. I don't really care, i just want to express how idiotic and annoying these kinds of FMLs are... Especially when there's like over 20 of them. Seriously people, no one cares about your "pathetic sexual existance(or lack there of)"... =) With all due respect, jchansfan
MrTaint 0
Wow you're a dick. What goes around comes around. Don't like it? Don't read it.
LikeOhMahGoose 0
BOO ****** HOO. God is this all men care about?
MrTaint 0
If you think that way, how long until its a problem in your relationships?
zeldar 0
what is it with women and constantly making generalizations about men based on the severe dumbasses?
WhyworldWhy 0
I guess it's time for a free night, a romantic dinner and see where it goes from there
OneFuckedGuy 0
Looks like someone needs to talk to his wife or find a whole in mannequins and stay late for work
lynxstorm 0
I remember reading that you have to get some at least once every six months or its considered abuse. Less than once a week should be. Thank god i just got diverced so i can start getting some again.
schoolgirl1 0
wow im 12 and i can get more action with a girl or guy than u haha
Mifflicious 18
But you're still a little kid and should be sitting at home watching My Little Pony.
imnotfatimchubby 0
wow twelve year old person, did you say girl or guy? I'm not criticizing you. I know a lot of bi people and some are my friends. just thought i would ask why.