Today, my boss asked me to take some of the female mannequins and change the outfits. As I was changing them, I realized that this was the most action I've gotten in almost a year. Not only am I twenty-seven, but I'm married. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at my retail job and we had to change the mannequin's outfit. I had to hold her while my manager grabbed the new outfit. I rested my head on her naked plastic chest, and it was the closest I've got to affection in years. FML
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Today, my 70-year-old boss asked me to order sexy lingerie she saw on the cover a magazine. FML
Today, waking up I noticed that my female boss had texted me during the night, telling me she wants me bad. I'm a woman, happily married to a man, and now have to turn her down somehow and not get fired in the process. FML
Today, I was working by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated, I started to moan and say dirty things… Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML
Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML
Today, my boss walked in my office to see me busy making a little Post-it dress for my pen. FML
Today, I came to work ready to impress my boss. A couple of weeks ago I asked him for a promotion from stock to sales and I have been proving myself worthy. Turns out he hired a new girl for sales, with great, big, fake breasts. FML
Today, I went to work to find my creepy boss sitting in my office. I work the night shift, so it was very unusual to find him there. I asked how he was, and he replied, "I told my wife about us; she kicked me out." I've been working there a month. Also, I'm married and pregnant. So, excuse me, "US?" FML
Today, my family and I went to the mall. We all split up in a department store to shop for our own clothes. While shopping, I caught my dad feeling up a mannequin in the back corner of the store. FML
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Top comments
coldplaylive2003 0
You should dress up as a pirate and get in bed with your wife because today's international talk like a pirate day I spy some booty in your future arrrr
bubblybrooke 12
so tonight, go home and seduce her. simple.
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Comments (51)
Hotness101 0
a lot of married couples don't have sex. thank god 4 strip clubs?
HTXMEX 0
FYL, your husband must be gay or having an affair.
Sure_Thing 0
If you can't even get your wife to have sex in almost a year, chances are you wouldn't have any luck with the single ladies either. Either do something about it or stop whining... grow a pair.
kimilei 0
YDI for not doing anything to keep sex alive in your relationship.
TriNiBaByDoLL 0
Wow! u need a divorce! I'm pretty sure that if u were single you'd be gettin sone action...I'm married & always gettin some! so seriously dude!
FoundManyLemons 0
Sounds like a good time to consider divorce.
NEWTROLLINTOWN 0
cough*rape her*cough
SusanaSaysRawrxD 0
Drm316(Id reply but I'm on my iPhone. the developers really need to add that function.). Haha, I love how you tell me to get a life and not take the FMLs so seriously, yet you obviously overanalyzed my comment enough to come to the conclusion that I don't have a life, and read FML all day.
hoangsondat 0
I blame you because if your husband isn't going to you you go to him.
tony8pie 0
It's not that your wife doesn't find you atractive anymore, you're just really bad at sex! Does that make you feel better?
bananahannahjo 0
haha!!!