Today, my beloved pet chicken ran away from home. I got so distraught that my dad offered to buy me dinner. Specifically, KFC. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML
Today, while I was staying at a farm for a few nights, I got really connected to a chicken I met. It was so tame and really cuddly. I legit loved it so much. Later on, we had chicken for dinner. It was the same chicken. He also had a name. FML
Today, I was busy working on a paper, so my parents offered to go get me some Mexican food. Eager for some nachos, I thanked them. At 9 p.m. they weren't back, so I called. They weren't in an accident, but spontaneously buying a new car without telling me. They didn't return until 11 p.m. with cold, greasy KFC. FML
Today, as I fed my dog his dinner of chicken offal, a drumstick, a wing, a mackerel, and a raw egg, my dad bitched and moaned that I waste money feeding him meat instead of just buying the cheapest kibble at the store. FML
Today, I accidentally bought chicken fingers. I couldn't even make it two days as a vegetarian. FML
Today, I found out my dad ate my pet rabbit two years ago. He said he ran away. FML
Today, I went without my phone all day, because my roommate moved it. Because I'd left it in the fridge. On top of a bucket of KFC. Which he ate. FML
Today, I was sick with the flu so my boyfriend announced that he would make me some chicken soup. It was touching until I stumbled to the kitchen and found out that his "chicken soup" was actually leftover KFC bones boiled in water. FML
Today, I bought a dog to make me feel less lonely. He ran away. FML
Today, my husband gave our three-year-old son a lesson on life and death. He did this by slaughtering our pet chicken for dinner in front of him. My son has been crying for hours. FML
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Top comments
Porschephile 0
Your dad has a sense of humor
BooGhosted 0
Get fries.
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Comments (196)
KyleJstorm 0
Do you watch iCarly so much you have to be like the girl in iPsycho?
HaniahAhmad 0
Weird... I happened to find a chicken in my yard today...
Goldenberry_fml 14
I had a pet chicken when I was younger. My mom cooked it and made me eat it. It was delicious, which made me more guilty and disgusted by myself.
captainburke 5
It sounds like he was amused by your grief over a chicken
BiNeko 12
Your dad is a troll.
jmcr 27
Chickens dont run away...sorry but something must have ate it if it didnt come back....
azhang1066 12
Who has a pet chicken?
fairman 5
I wonder if it ever got to the other side of the road!!
rfn2 7
What a dick
rebamoo 14
...do you normally eat chicken? So just because you don't bond first with an animal, it's ok to eat them? Maybe you don't but you didn't specify.