Today, my assistant manager was arguing with a customer. I interjected letting the customer know that "we want everything to be copacetic." After the customer left, I received a write up for using "big words." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work, we had an extremely rude customer who started cussing at us, and my coworker started cussing back. I jumped on the register to quickly bring down the line, and apologized to everyone for the scene. A secret shopper was in the line and claimed that I was rude. I got written up. FML
Today, I was working when I delivered the standard "Hello, how are you?" to a customer. He took the opportunity to tell me about his deceased wife, his estranged children, and his anal tearing. After a while, I tried to help someone else, and he complained to my manager. I was written up. FML
Today, I had to call a coworker to the office via the store intercom. The damn thing didn't turn off properly and everyone heard me say, "I hate that asshole. Just be where your dumb ass should be." I realized my mistake a few seconds before my manager stormed in and threatened to fire me. FML
Today, I got written up by my line manager for being too friendly to customers. I work in retail, my job is to be friendly. FML
Today, my boss came around to my way of thinking. He called our customers a "bunch of assholes" and to kick them out if they gave me trouble. When a lady began yelling at me for "setting the damn prices too high" I told her to leave. My boss soon bitched me out for being unprofessional. FML
Today, my supervisor was in a leadership meeting pulling random calls for quality. Mine was chosen. He got excited and told them my stats and how I put him to shame with how I drive my team, that I'm the best and this call is going to be amazing. I was then written up for arguing with a customer. FML
Today, at work a lady asked for a burrito, large coke, and hot sauce. While repeating back the order, the words got stuck and I accidentally said large cock. I got written up for being inappropriate. FML
Today, my boss reprimanded me for a huge screw-up that he was responsible for. FML
Today, I got written up for insulting a customer last week, who then rang up to complain about my bad attitude. I was on vacation all last week. My boss doesn't believe me. FML
Today, a customer yelled at me so furiously that she sprayed my face with spittle. I had to stand there, smiling and politely explaining that I needed to see a receipt before I could give her a refund. When she finally gave up and left, my boss bitched me out for "provoking the customer". FML
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Top comments
wisericky 12
thats like talking in an other language to us simple foke
happyhak 5
Ha ha ha! Sounds like his vocabulary isn't as sophisticated as yours!
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Comments (140)
sinnikle 5
This reminds me of the episode of Doug when Skeeter is a genius and uses the word "apodictic" and Doug gets jealous. Doug goes home and tries to read advanced literature and fails. Just imagine the asst. manager struggling to learn a new word at home and enjoy yourself a small chuckle. Inferiority complexes can be mighty annoying when said person has a higher position
Illblowyourmind 3
Definite win :) made my current five minutes.
IGotServedcouk 0
They might have been worried that the customer would find you patronising. Or could be assholes. /shrug.
HomeAl0ne 20
Emulate me and eschew obfuscation.
RedPillSucks 33
eschew on this!
Iknoweverything 29
You could have just said "we want your experience to be satisfactory" or something easily understandable... Did you really think a customer would understand that?
Schiffy 18
Either you're AM's a moron, or you work for Guns n' Buns Inc.
Valle79 5
Your. Not you're. They're very small words...please get them right.
willou35_fml 13
haha
alaskanhybrid 5
Slip that Assistant Manager some Rufelin and have your "Way" with him.
mrjude 3
You should complain to higher management and explain to them that you are being discriminated against for having a brain.
JazzytheMan 3
When I worked retail I remember some middle school girls saying, "You can tell she's smart by the way she talks!" I spent the rest of the night wondering how my vocabulary was any different.