Today, my 9 year-old little sister is coming back to town with the rest of my family. She specifically asked me to feed her fish. I totally forgot until she called me 10 minutes ago to tell me she was on her way home and couldn't wait to see her fishie. He's dead. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my little sister put me in charge of keeping her fighting fish alive. It would've been an easy task if it weren't for my crazy ex-boyfriend drunkenly forcing his way into my house, vomiting into the fishbowl and killing the fish. Only ten more hours until my family gets home. FML
Today, my neighbor called me on vacation to tell me that she let my mother into my house to feed my fish. I don't have fish, and my mother passed away 3 years ago. FML
Today, my friend is furious with me because while I was watching her various fish for two weeks, I failed to feed her favorite fish and it died. The reason I didn't take care of it was because she never told me she had it, that it was in her room unlike the rest of the fish, so I never saw it. FML
Today, was very chilly. My little sister felt sorry for my two goldfish swimming in the cold water. She decided to put them in hot water. They died. FML
Today, my mom was criticizing how I can't handle taking care of any living thing because I'm too irresponsible. We had a huge argument so I went back to my apartment, only to find that my fish had died. I forgot I had a fish. FML
Today, my sister presented me with an "official pet killer" award after yet another goldfish under my care died of unknown causes. FML
Today, my sister was meant to come over for lunch for my birthday. Turns out, she forgot about it. FML
Today, I went to see a fortune teller. She said one of my closest friends will die soon because of me. Frightened I hurried home to avoid meeting anyone I know. At home I found my goldfish floating on its back. Apparently I forgot to feed my closest friend for the past 3 days. FML
Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's been a death in the family, then abruptly hangs up. I speed home, to find my mother holding the tiny corpse of a fish that she got 2 weeks ago. I got fired for being late to work. FML
Today, I came home after having traveled abroad for the last two months. Before I left, I'd asked my dad to take care of my fish, and he promised they'd be safe with him. I found them all decomposing. FML
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Top comments
FerrariCake 2
Put fishie in a little coffin, and put on your best black suit. Decorate the house like a funeral parlor and when she gets home you can tell her how brave and heroic fishie was, and now it is time to honor his memory. Make up some stupid story about fishie trying to save the house from burglars, how he scared them away but was mortally wounded in the fight. If she was stupid enough to trust you with feeding her fish, she'll be stupid enough to believe your story.
laurbullet5 0
Get off the internet and go buy the stupid fish!
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Comments (108)
aback 5
Well look at it this way--it's good she finds out you're an irresponsible douchebag now instead of later when she asks you to babysit.
flinkpamingo 0
Run as fast as you can to the pet store. Fish aren't real touchy -feely pets anyway, she'll NEVER notice.
Luckster 0
You've never had an Oranda then. They're pretty touchy-feely if you give them time.
freestuffbox 0
Wow, you're a selfish bitch.
moviemaniac97 0
just get a similar fish
BadLuckTuck 0
Reminds me of that episode of Spongebob when Squidward forgot to feed Gary and they ended up turning into snails.
epicwinmaster 0
ok heres what you do. rip the fish into pieces, then set it next to your sleeping cat. problem solved. unless she reads fml, and reads my comment...
ScaryPants3 0
Haha that would be a horrible process. :o
frightful316 0
So when you wrote this, you still had a bit of time? Why stop to write a FML? Go get another fish!!!
bubblybrooke 12
poor fishie.
doughnutboy99 2
dick face how about some locks you in a closet for a month with no food
WonderBlunder 0
Tell her Nemo went to find his dad in Australia.
teameminem 2
win ^