Today, my 8 year-old adopted daughter told me she wants me to take her back so another family can adopt her because I don't give her enough toys. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my daughter asked me if we could adopt a child. I said no, since we can't afford to support another child. She then asked me if she could just adopt another dad instead. FML
Today, I took away my 8-year-old daughter's toy for throwing it too many times. She then said, "I need a beer." FML
Today, my daughter had a meltdown when I told her I donated some of her old toys to Goodwill. It turns out Toy Story has taught her that toys have feelings and that she has a meaningful relationship with them. She's in her teens. FML
Today, my daughter told me she never wants to see me again because I had an abortion. She wanted me to have the baby and then give it to her so she could raise it as hers. FML
Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML
Today, my mom was screaming at me and said, "I wish I'd never adopted you." I guess I'm adopted then. FML
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML
Today, at work I had to handle two selfish parents returning their adopted 6 year-old daughter to foster care because, “She doesn’t, like, fit with our lifestyle, and my mom is, like, too old to babysit her anymore and we, like, can’t afford a nanny.” I hate my job. FML
Today, I regret letting my adoptive daughter find her biological father because now he's intent on getting her back. He said he never agreed to giving her up for adoption and will do everything in his power to get her. She's terrified. FML
Today, I heard my 7 year-old step-daughter tell her father over Zoom she cries every night, because she wants to go home with him. I don't have the heart to tell her that he had kicked her and her mom out of the house because he thought mom's stretch marks were unattractive. FML
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Top comments
maskedman 9
That's hurtful. just keep her until the warranty expires.
r6_fml 4
I hope you kept your receipt
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Comments (135)
JessicaGrewal 22
Kids these days. Say the most absurd things.
Corneliapresent 13
Kids say the darkest things ... She'll see otherwise someday, I promise
Corneliapresent 13
Damned, that needed to be 'darnest things' ...
D_acton 12
don't give her anything anymore!
evbu98 12
Buy more toys asshole
IHaveThePower 18
Maybe make a yarn doll together, or a koosh ball? That way she gets a new 'toy' (that's only a dollar or two of supplies--the dollar tree carries yarn now) and gets to make something and spend time with you. Kids act up when they need something. Making her a toy together can help address a lot of the potential needs.