Today, my 7 year old brother decided that it would be fun to cut off my hair. I woke from a long nap after working the late shift, to about 15 inches of my long blonde hair all over my bed and floor. I now have bloody bald spots and really choppy hair about 3 inches long. He got away with it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was napping when my little brother cut off huge chunks of my hair. He thought it would turn me into the older brother he always wanted. He's 8. FML
Today, my 4-year-old son cut half of my hair when I was asleep because he thought I would look better that way. FML
Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML
Today, my little sister used scissors she got from school to cut my hair in the middle of the night while I was asleep. Now it looks like someone went at my hair with a chainsaw, and my school's dress code doesn't allow me to wear a hat or anything else to cover it up. FML
Today, I'm a 15 year old boy who is bald. Why am I bald? My little brother thought it would be funny to put glue in my hair gel. FML
Today, I'm right now walking out of the ER. My brother-in-law thought it was funny to chop down my receding hair while I was asleep. I woke up to the buzzing sound and the first thing I did was to instinctively knock him out cold. My sis just told me, "You're lucky nobody called the cops on you." FML
Today, I got my 9 year-old daughter back from a sleepover at my mum's. My 17 year-old niece was also staying there at the same time, and heard my daughter complaining that her fringe was in her eyes. My niece decided to cut my daughter's hair. There are now chunks missing and it's all uneven. No one asked my permission. FML
Today, I woke up to my bratty younger sister cutting through my hair with a pair of scissors. I now look like a freak, and my mum bitched me out for being angry, all because my sister claimed she'd been sleep-walking. Her demented smirk said otherwise. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter thought it'd be funny to cut my hair while I was sleeping. FML
Today, my mum started yelling at me for leaving scissors on my desk, which my five year-old sister found and chopped all her hair off. She had a lump of hair as proof. After three minutes of her yelling, me crying and apologizing, she laughed and said she was joking. She'd just given my sister a haircut. FML
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Top comments
katgurl 13
Ouch :[ Sorry girly ! Cut your parents' hair (if they're heavy sleepers like you, awesome. If not, NyQuil..), and blame it on your brother.. Bet he won't get away with it after that :]
noshitsherlock 0
Seriously, wouldn't you wake up when the bloody bald spots were created? That sucks though.. you should take away ALL his toys and give them to charity and shave the little shit's head down to the scalp and vandalize it with Sharpies.
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Comments (130)
derschadenfreude 5
All the posts so far have the right idea, but if OP gets caught with scissors over the brother revenge cutting his hair, that would just result in a bigger fml for her, so, here's what I would do, OP. Put Nair in his shampoo. Little kids don't ever leave the shampoo in long enough anyway, so it won't even make him completely bald, but all patchy :D And of course, eyedrops in his milk, or whatever the next thing the little shit shovels into his piehole is. Because who can resist inflicting a little diarrhea on a horrible person? :D Hopefully we'll see a couple of fmls from your brother in the near future. Be well, baldygirl.
Lythiaren 8
You are a genius. @OP: Ouch, losing 15 inches of hair. That'll take a while to regrow. Might as well buzz the rest to make it even, though, to save some hassle getting that done later. Time to shop for some nice hats?
derschadenfreude 5
thanks, Lythiaren. glad you liked my idea, thatredhair1, and yes, you heard right, that's what eyedrops in the drink is supposed to do. it doesn't last for anywhere near a week though. after you give someone something that gives them diarrhea, it's only a matter of time before it's (ahem) flushed out of their system.
that1redhead 0
like hell he got away with it! it revenge time! the nair in shampoo is a nice one.. but ive heard eyedrops in his drink should give him the runs for a week
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UWBeautyQueen12 0
How did you NOT wake up if he was digging into your head??
ami1043 0
wow that sucks. and for people complaining about how she could not have felt it she may be a heavy sleeper. and thoose whining about bloody, it's a term used for those who'd rather not waste their breathe on curse words. finally. she included blonde to describe her hair, not to make it seem even more suckish to have it gone, or to make blonde seem like a better color.
glostik 0
If he was my brother, he wouldn't even be alive to get away with it. And listen all you retards who think blonds are dumb: I am a blond who exceeds expectations and gets straight As in every class (I'm in advanced classes). Not only that, but I'm not a nerd, but actually I'm quite popular.
jadetothes 0
samee :) it pisses me off - the majority of thick blondes are brunettes and redheads who dyed their hair to fit in with the rest of the fauxidilockes.
skyeyez9 25
My question is why did your parents not punish your shitstain of a little brother?!
skyeyez9 25
punch him in his face and break his nose! He will never mess with you again. Getting grounded is worth seeing his ass scream in pain.
CanadianQueer 0
If that was my little brother, he'd have a broken nose after a stunt like that. At least. But it would never get to that because my mother actually gives a shit about being a good parent and teaching her children the lessons they need to learn. I've seen this many times; they're the baby, they're the youngest, they're just a child, therefore they can get away with whatever disgusting, unacceptable shit they please. Seven or not, that is just downright nasty, mean spirited behaviour that should never be excused or pardoned, especially at a young age. And to those people who are bitching about the fact that she included the word "blonde" in the description of her hair: do you really have that much of a chip on your shoulder about being brown/red/black haired that you would notice something that trivial, much less bitch about it? That's just plain ridiculous.
strata8 0
How did he manage to cut the skin off your scalp without waking you?