Intimacy: Today, my father decided to tell me in detail when and how he...

By Anonymous - 16/01/2010 00:57 - Australia

Today, my father decided to tell me in detail when and how he lost his virginity. He even told me what position it was and who this girl was. I will never look at him in the same way again. He also made his hands "have sex". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 926

You deserved it 2 627

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Same thing different taste

By LoveMyNewBro - 04/01/2011 10:56

Today, my dad told me he had been seeing someone for a while and has decided to marry her. When I met her, her son looked familiar. I lost my virginity to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 134

You deserved it 5 917

Scarred for life

By Aly - 09/12/2011 15:40 - United States

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 163

You deserved it 5 833

By awkwardmandy - 11/03/2016 18:28 - United States - Okeene

Today, my ex-boyfriend decided to humiliate me by confessing to my dad in detail what he and I had done together and "apologizing" for taking my virginity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 567

You deserved it 2 385

At least it wasn't rotting coconut?

By Getmeoutofhere - 10/08/2017 17:15 - Australia

Today, I was masturbating when my dad came into my room to say goodnight. He leaned down over my bed, paused, and said, "What's that smell? It's like... oh." His face dropped and he left the room. I don't think he'll ever see me the same way again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 541

You deserved it 1 149

Nice to know

By LyricalTragedy - 16/12/2016 00:08

Today, I saw my father for the first time in two years. He felt compelled to tell me about how he got involved with a BDSM group and got an STD because of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 094

You deserved it 738

By more than I wanted to know - 13/05/2013 19:10 - Italy - San Giustino

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 176

You deserved it 5 863

Don't wanna know

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 05:50

Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 186

You deserved it 4 177

By wastedlove - 23/06/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave I decided to give him one last thrill. So I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out, when I asked why, he points behind me, my mom watched the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 076

You deserved it 73 883

Parental advice

By ifeeldirty - 27/10/2011 12:22 - United States

Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 073

You deserved it 8 878

By TMI - 04/06/2011 16:41 - United States

Today, I had the misfortune of being left alone with my dad. He took it as an opportunity to tell me in detail all about his recent vasectomy, and the complications the surgeon had due to the scar tissue on my dad's testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 558

You deserved it 2 881

mcfaily 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 9:25

he was giving pointers, how nice of him to lend a hand ;)

virusin 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 9:53

did he finger the hands? hahah get it FINGER! ohh f**k you guys u.u

Comments

coolcat33 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 9:07

nasty lil guy aren't ya? lol. yo daddy sounds funny this isn't an fml this is a great story to tell your friends you fool!.

jhoward7 0

Monday 24 May 2010 6:40

the hands part made it hilarious

Boygenius50 8

Saturday 24 July 2010 4:22

C'mon, you know it turned you on ;)

pedosmurf 7

Wednesday 29 February 2012 3:43

He shoulda been like no hands ;)

bhangu023 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 9:15

awkward

cavalos94 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 9:20

dumb

mcfaily 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 9:25

he was giving pointers, how nice of him to lend a hand ;)

chaos753159 4

Sunday 24 January 2010 7:23

puns FTW

AliceC_fml 3

Saturday 16 January 2010 9:43

uhmmm... EWW

starbucksfan33 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 18:56

I agree with 5 it's sick yo! but in the bright side, you can use this as an amazing story :]

virusin 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 9:53

did he finger the hands? hahah get it FINGER! ohh f**k you guys u.u

Rawr100 0

Wednesday 13 April 2011 19:29

alexblue 5

Saturday 16 January 2010 10:39

For sure!

Hotshot132 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 10:58

hahaha

martic835 2

Saturday 16 January 2010 11:30

He probably did that to make sure you stay a virgin for a long time.

tomwillkickyouin 0

Friday 22 January 2010 0:24

lol yeah

meowx 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 12:12

This is fake. It's already been posted before.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was working at the pharmacy and had a older man come in. He was buying Viagra and, by law, we are required to ask if the patient had any questions. His lovely response was, "When you coming over so I can test this stuff out?" His wife and daughter thought it was hilarious. I could've died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 847

You deserved it 635

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I have no sex drive, but faked it to avoid hurting his feelings. It was after he confessed he is not attracted to women, but forced himself to have sex with me because he didn't want to admit he is gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 205

You deserved it 3 629

The Top

Today, I found out I have to have an operation. This will be the third in 3 years, all for completely unrelated reasons. I'm only 26 and apparently my body is already falling apart at the seams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 820

You deserved it 148

Today, I finally got the chance to meet this wonderful guy I met on a dating site. She was very excited to see me, too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 914

You deserved it 5 596

Today, a realtor came to take a look at my house. I had worked all morning to make it look lovely. When they took pictures, I explained a number of ways I could change things so everything would look as good as possible. After the house tour, they told me it should be bulldozed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 871

You deserved it 1 063

Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 393

You deserved it 19 262

Today, it's the third day of my dad's revenge after he snapped over me supposedly using the word "duh" in every other sentence. He got his hands on my old recorder and has been playing it loudly and out of tune outside my room when I try to do my homework. My mom thinks this is hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 962

You deserved it 14 432

Today, I signed the lease for a flat that a mate and I decided to move into. About five minutes after leaving the renting agency, I received a text from my mate saying he couldn't move in with me after all. I am now the happy tenant of a large inner city flat that I can't afford. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 225

You deserved it 486