Intimacy: Today, my father decided to tell me in detail when and how he...

By Anonymous - 16/01/2010 00:57 - Australia

Today, my father decided to tell me in detail when and how he lost his virginity. He even told me what position it was and who this girl was. I will never look at him in the same way again. He also made his hands "have sex". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 945

You deserved it 2 638

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Same thing different taste

By LoveMyNewBro - 04/01/2011 10:56

Today, my dad told me he had been seeing someone for a while and has decided to marry her. When I met her, her son looked familiar. I lost my virginity to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 157

You deserved it 5 928

Scarred for life

By Aly - 09/12/2011 15:40 - United States

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 173

You deserved it 5 864

By awkwardmandy - 11/03/2016 18:28 - United States - Okeene

Today, my ex-boyfriend decided to humiliate me by confessing to my dad in detail what he and I had done together and "apologizing" for taking my virginity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 595

You deserved it 2 390

At least it wasn't rotting coconut?

By Getmeoutofhere - 10/08/2017 17:15 - Australia

Today, I was masturbating when my dad came into my room to say goodnight. He leaned down over my bed, paused, and said, "What's that smell? It's like... oh." His face dropped and he left the room. I don't think he'll ever see me the same way again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 556

You deserved it 1 155

Nice to know

By LyricalTragedy - 16/12/2016 00:08

Today, I saw my father for the first time in two years. He felt compelled to tell me about how he got involved with a BDSM group and got an STD because of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 107

You deserved it 743

By more than I wanted to know - 13/05/2013 19:10 - Italy - San Giustino

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 196

You deserved it 5 876

The moment when…

By wastedlove - 23/06/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 108

You deserved it 74 047

Don't wanna know

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 05:50

Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 208

You deserved it 4 187

Parental advice

By ifeeldirty - 27/10/2011 12:22 - United States

Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 104

You deserved it 8 900

By TMI - 04/06/2011 16:41 - United States

Today, I had the misfortune of being left alone with my dad. He took it as an opportunity to tell me in detail all about his recent vasectomy, and the complications the surgeon had due to the scar tissue on my dad's testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 566

You deserved it 2 884

mcfaily 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 9:25

he was giving pointers, how nice of him to lend a hand ;)

virusin 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 9:53

did he finger the hands? hahah get it FINGER! ohh f**k you guys u.u

Comments

coolcat33 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 9:07

nasty lil guy aren't ya? lol. yo daddy sounds funny this isn't an fml this is a great story to tell your friends you fool!.

jhoward7 0

Monday 24 May 2010 6:40

the hands part made it hilarious

Boygenius50 8

Saturday 24 July 2010 4:22

C'mon, you know it turned you on ;)

pedosmurf 7

Wednesday 29 February 2012 3:43

He shoulda been like no hands ;)

bhangu023 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 9:15

awkward

cavalos94 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 9:20

dumb

mcfaily 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 9:25

he was giving pointers, how nice of him to lend a hand ;)

chaos753159 4

Sunday 24 January 2010 7:23

puns FTW

AliceC_fml 3

Saturday 16 January 2010 9:43

uhmmm... EWW

starbucksfan33 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 18:56

I agree with 5 it's sick yo! but in the bright side, you can use this as an amazing story :]

virusin 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 9:53

did he finger the hands? hahah get it FINGER! ohh f**k you guys u.u

Rawr100 0

Wednesday 13 April 2011 19:29

alexblue 5

Saturday 16 January 2010 10:39

For sure!

Hotshot132 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 10:58

hahaha

martic835 2

Saturday 16 January 2010 11:30

He probably did that to make sure you stay a virgin for a long time.

tomwillkickyouin 0

Friday 22 January 2010 0:24

lol yeah

meowx 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 12:12

This is fake. It's already been posted before.

Keywords

Awkward Friends Love Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Poopoo peepee Management Capitalism Coworkers Frustration Transportation Dogs Animals ADHD Dating Mental health Health

The Top

Today, while sitting at my desk at work, a co-worker asked for my help. It was only after I had walked over to his desk, bent over, answered his question, and walked back to my stall, that I felt a breeze. My tube top had slid down across my breasts, revealing my bra to the entire office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 870

You deserved it 43 619

Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 874

You deserved it 3 148

The Top

Today, I had a sex dream about a coworker I've known for a few weeks. He's a lovely guy, but is not someone I'd usually be attracted to. He's also 18, and I'm 29. FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 309

Today, my girlfriend told me that last night after I got drunk, I passed out mid-pump while we were knocking boots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 1 186

Today, I got kicked in the balls twice in two hours. The first was my (now ex) girlfriend when I confronted her about cheating on me, and the second was her overprotective friend who thought that I was the cheater. One is a cheerleader, and the other is a soccer player. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 130

You deserved it 363

Today, I bought a desk for my new apartment. After ignoring the warnings on the box saying it should not be carried alone, I made it all the way to my apartment with the desk. I walked in the door and dropped it on my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 887

You deserved it 6 261

Today, after opening a letter from the VA, I found out that I have to pay back all the money I earned last year in the Army. I just spent $500 on Christmas presents. Payments start in January. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 295

You deserved it 706

Today, I went down on my partner to the point where she suffered a TIA (transient ischemic attack) and lost consciousness temporarily. It seemed like she'd had a stroke, so I ended up having to call an ambulance, and she gets to spend two days in hospital because I apparently give excellent oral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 288

You deserved it 331