Kids: Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking... - FML

By Facepalmum - 10/01/2013 06:28 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 581

You deserved it 7 936

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/08/2013 08:49 - France - Paris

Today, my 7-year-old son proudly announced that he had laid an egg during the night. I checked. He'd simply shat the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 587

You deserved it 4 250

By Anonymous - 16/10/2017 01:30

Today, my 1-year-old son walked up to me with a disgusted look on his face. I could tell he had something in his mouth so I pulled it out. He'd been sucking on a piece of cat poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 884

You deserved it 468

Best gift ever

By Anonymous - 16/09/2020 22:01 - Australia - Traralgon

Today, my toddler handed me a present and told me to keep it forever. It was a piece of dog poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 106

You deserved it 209

Child's play

By Misbah Akhtar - 21/11/2020 12:59 - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Today, my 6 year-old brought me a card. On it was a turd belonging to my 4 year-old son. She got excited and grossed out, and threw it on the rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 356

By matchristityler - 09/02/2010 08:19 - United States

Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 620

You deserved it 4 370

By ghoul - 08/03/2011 11:32

Today, I found a dead squirrel under my son's bed. Apparently, he has been keeping it there as a "pet" for the past week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 847

You deserved it 4 225

By Miffy - 04/09/2018 23:00 - United States - San Augustine

Today, my 14-year-old son asked his dog what she was chewing on. It wasn't until he picked it up said, "Is this what I think it is?" that I realized my son was gripping my vibrator. As I took it outside, mortified, he told his sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 664

You deserved it 871

Poor little bunny

By Anonymous - 30/06/2021 04:01

Today, after I warned my son repeatedly that if he wanted a rabbit he had to clean and feed it, I checked on it. It wasn’t just dead, it was dead and rotting in a pool of its own pee and faeces. I yelled at him, but he just shrugged and told me rabbits are boring and he forgot it was even there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 590

You deserved it 1 928

By Anonymous - 27/03/2009 13:05 - Austria

Today, I was outside searching for "treasures" with my son using small plastic shovels. All of a sudden he starts screaming. He dug up the bones of our old dog. I told him that we had sent him away to live on a farm, I even helped my son write letters to the farm owners. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 005

You deserved it 93 203

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 02/03/2013 00:54 - United States

Today, I noticed my dog chewing on something while on the couch. It looked like a wash rag of some sort, so I grabbed it from my dog. It wasn't until after I picked it up that I noticed it wasn't a wash rag. It was a small, dead bird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 780

You deserved it 3 125

Next

Top comments

mpj13 8

Thursday 10 January 2013 18:55

How do you even get the two confused?

Werken247 14

Thursday 10 January 2013 18:56

Were you and your husband related before you got married? C'mon now tell the truth.

Comments

xxmckenzierae 5

Thursday 10 January 2013 20:17

Are we sure the parent truly knows its a dog turd?

Obey_StudBoii 23

Thursday 10 January 2013 20:32

Don't know if I should laugh or feel sorry.

buddy51 23

Thursday 10 January 2013 20:59

What does your son have for breakfast?

Needafarm 22

Thursday 10 January 2013 21:34

Turds over-easy or scrambled turds. I bet they are delicious.

TomPusslicker 21

Thursday 10 January 2013 21:08

Im still trying to figure out why more people think OP deserves it.

bfsd42 20

Thursday 10 January 2013 22:23

Because a child's intelligence is greatly related to the parenting they receive in a lot of cases. Quit often, a stupid child implies a stupid parent.

TomPusslicker 21

Saturday 12 January 2013 6:47

I understand that parenting plays a part, but on the other hand, the kid is 14. This leaves plenty of time for OP to be made aware of any mental illnesses, and so if this is just a stupid kid, it should come as no surprise to the parent, and so it shouldn't have been submitted as an fml by OP. I deduced that this is a shockingly stupid act by the kid alone. But i cant say that's 100% true, so im still not sure why so many people assume its OP's fault.

Drakorex 10

Thursday 10 January 2013 21:59

Stupid kids ermagherd

Andraniki 3

Thursday 10 January 2013 22:03

Lol FHL!

EvilUndead 9

Thursday 10 January 2013 22:11

Shit happens.

whoknew1 3

Thursday 10 January 2013 22:40

how does he confuse the two? does he not take science classes?

JoeRogansBEARD 15

Friday 11 January 2013 0:10

Did you study eggs and dog shit in science class? I must have missed school that day

outoftown 26

Friday 11 January 2013 4:17

It's what happens when home ec isn't taught.

DarkskyFML 5

Thursday 10 January 2013 22:57

A fourteen year old can't identify shit, really. We need a little bleach in the gene pool.

benhd1 14

Thursday 10 January 2013 23:14

That must come as a great relief OP. Good colleges are expensive

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I agree, your life sucks 8

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I agree, your life sucks 40 623

You deserved it 3 083

Today, after having been off due to the holidays, I awoke to several missed calls and texts from my supervisor asking where I was. Fearing losing my job, I drove the entire 2-hour commute thinking I’d missed a day. I hadn't; he was just trying to get my weekly reports early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 878

You deserved it 1 357

Today, I was woken up by my dog scratching at my door. After a while of this, I finally got up to let her in. When I opened the door, she looked at me, threw up, and scurried away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 991

You deserved it 9 662

Today, after a long shift at work, I got home feeling sick and nauseous. I went to remove the tampon I'd had in all day and go to bed, but I literally uncorked myself. There was blood everywhere... on the floor, all over my legs, even on the walls. Everywhere I look, I find more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 261

You deserved it 898

Today, I watched my fiancé ride off on my motorcycle with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 837

You deserved it 356

Today, I received my first Valentine's day present ever: a dead mouse from my cat. FML

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