Kids: Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking...

By Facepalmum - 10/01/2013 06:28 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 581

You deserved it 7 936

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/08/2013 08:49 - France - Paris

Today, my 7-year-old son proudly announced that he had laid an egg during the night. I checked. He'd simply shat the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 587

You deserved it 4 250

By Anonymous - 16/10/2017 01:30

Today, my 1-year-old son walked up to me with a disgusted look on his face. I could tell he had something in his mouth so I pulled it out. He'd been sucking on a piece of cat poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 884

You deserved it 468

Best gift ever

By Anonymous - 16/09/2020 22:01 - Australia - Traralgon

Today, my toddler handed me a present and told me to keep it forever. It was a piece of dog poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 106

You deserved it 209

Child's play

By Misbah Akhtar - 21/11/2020 12:59 - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Today, my 6 year-old brought me a card. On it was a turd belonging to my 4 year-old son. She got excited and grossed out, and threw it on the rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 356

By matchristityler - 09/02/2010 08:19 - United States

Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 620

You deserved it 4 370

By ghoul - 08/03/2011 11:32

Today, I found a dead squirrel under my son's bed. Apparently, he has been keeping it there as a "pet" for the past week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 847

You deserved it 4 225

By Miffy - 04/09/2018 23:00 - United States - San Augustine

Today, my 14-year-old son asked his dog what she was chewing on. It wasn't until he picked it up said, "Is this what I think it is?" that I realized my son was gripping my vibrator. As I took it outside, mortified, he told his sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 664

You deserved it 871

Poor little bunny

By Anonymous - 30/06/2021 04:01

Today, after I warned my son repeatedly that if he wanted a rabbit he had to clean and feed it, I checked on it. It wasn’t just dead, it was dead and rotting in a pool of its own pee and faeces. I yelled at him, but he just shrugged and told me rabbits are boring and he forgot it was even there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 590

You deserved it 1 928

By Anonymous - 27/03/2009 13:05 - Austria

Today, I was outside searching for "treasures" with my son using small plastic shovels. All of a sudden he starts screaming. He dug up the bones of our old dog. I told him that we had sent him away to live on a farm, I even helped my son write letters to the farm owners. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 005

You deserved it 93 203

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 02/03/2013 00:54 - United States

Today, I noticed my dog chewing on something while on the couch. It looked like a wash rag of some sort, so I grabbed it from my dog. It wasn't until after I picked it up that I noticed it wasn't a wash rag. It was a small, dead bird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 780

You deserved it 3 125

mpj13 8

Thursday 10 January 2013 18:55

How do you even get the two confused?

Werken247 14

Thursday 10 January 2013 18:56

Were you and your husband related before you got married? C'mon now tell the truth.

Comments

doglover100 28

Thursday 10 January 2013 23:15

He's 14 can't he tell the difference?

stripeycrakers 7

Thursday 10 January 2013 23:30

At least we know its not going to die

1Kiki_babe1 2

Thursday 10 January 2013 23:32

14 or 4? Wow...

Mackay92 14

Thursday 10 January 2013 23:42

I'm sorry if you're son has down syndrome but if not tell him the ******* difference next he'll be think he is laying an egg

docscientist 9

Friday 11 January 2013 0:04

I'm pretty sure that's offensive to people with down syndrome.

desertlovebird 11

Friday 11 January 2013 2:11

Thats going to be on shitty little bird.

simoncat 11

Friday 11 January 2013 2:18

Am I the ONLY one who thought of Horton? (Horton hatches a crap. Horton hears a poo.) c'mon people...really?

trulymickeyj 13

Friday 11 January 2013 3:24

Your son is freaking weird... please help him...

BookWorm13 3

Friday 11 January 2013 3:32

Kids are just wonderful right?

bmgt 4

Friday 11 January 2013 4:07

Make him take it to show and tell.

DrShrug 3

Friday 11 January 2013 4:17

So many ydi posts... How does she diserve this.... Unless he's a crack baby.

Keywords

Video games Gamers Annoying Money Birthday Cute Kids Love Health Weird Awkward Relatable Abuse Social Media Scams Parents School Education Anger issues Teenagers Family Miscellaneous Relationship advice Capitalism Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Music Geek Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, I realized that whenever I use emoticons, I tend to make the same face in real life. My coworkers gleefully showed me various pictures with my tongue out, face scrunched up, and so on, while staring at my phone. They've already made their way around the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 008

You deserved it 21 832

Today, I’m coming to accept that my wife’s relationship with her phone and her social media is deeper and more intimate than it will ever be with me. I can’t afford to leave her, her sister's a lawyer, she’ll take everything I still love in the divorce. I hate my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 89

The Top

Today, my wife and I went to our friend's house to play some pool. While playing, a Cicada started to fly towards my face, so I flipped my pool stick over and swatted at it with the fat end of the stick. I hit the bug. However, with the skinny side I hit myself in the snow-globes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 227

You deserved it 22 737

Today, I should be working on my big project for work due next week. Instead, I'm walking in and out of the block to get all my things from my flat. My roommate lied about paying the rent for months now and has actually spending all the money on lotto tickets. And no, he didn't win anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 573

You deserved it 770

Today, while sitting with my son, an ice cream cone landed on my head from out of nowhere. I look up to see three children on the balcony above us yelling, "Look! We hit the fat lady!" They ran away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 075

You deserved it 5 588

Today, my husband's 70-year-old uncle came for a visit. Since we only have 2 bedrooms, we set him up in our daughter's room. Later, I glanced into the room and saw him masturbating in her bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 971

You deserved it 2 815

Today, my roommate asked me for help finding her wallet because it’s been lost for days. I helped a bit, but it never turned up. I left to go to my boyfriend’s house as I'd planned. Guess whose wallet I found laying on the ground next to his night-stand? And why it was there… FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 62

Today, my longtime partner had a mental breakdown and broke into my home. After forcefully having to get him out of my house and dealing with Police all morning, my 16-year-old daughter decided to tell me that she's pregnant. She thought one hour after a break in was the right time to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 169