Kids: Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking...

By Facepalmum - 10/01/2013 06:28 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 581

You deserved it 7 936

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/08/2013 08:49 - France - Paris

Today, my 7-year-old son proudly announced that he had laid an egg during the night. I checked. He'd simply shat the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 587

You deserved it 4 250

By Anonymous - 16/10/2017 01:30

Today, my 1-year-old son walked up to me with a disgusted look on his face. I could tell he had something in his mouth so I pulled it out. He'd been sucking on a piece of cat poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 884

You deserved it 468

Best gift ever

By Anonymous - 16/09/2020 22:01 - Australia - Traralgon

Today, my toddler handed me a present and told me to keep it forever. It was a piece of dog poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 106

You deserved it 209

Child's play

By Misbah Akhtar - 21/11/2020 12:59 - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Today, my 6 year-old brought me a card. On it was a turd belonging to my 4 year-old son. She got excited and grossed out, and threw it on the rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 356

By matchristityler - 09/02/2010 08:19 - United States

Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 620

You deserved it 4 370

By ghoul - 08/03/2011 11:32

Today, I found a dead squirrel under my son's bed. Apparently, he has been keeping it there as a "pet" for the past week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 847

You deserved it 4 225

By Miffy - 04/09/2018 23:00 - United States - San Augustine

Today, my 14-year-old son asked his dog what she was chewing on. It wasn't until he picked it up said, "Is this what I think it is?" that I realized my son was gripping my vibrator. As I took it outside, mortified, he told his sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 664

You deserved it 871

Poor little bunny

By Anonymous - 30/06/2021 04:01

Today, after I warned my son repeatedly that if he wanted a rabbit he had to clean and feed it, I checked on it. It wasn’t just dead, it was dead and rotting in a pool of its own pee and faeces. I yelled at him, but he just shrugged and told me rabbits are boring and he forgot it was even there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 590

You deserved it 1 928

By Anonymous - 27/03/2009 13:05 - Austria

Today, I was outside searching for "treasures" with my son using small plastic shovels. All of a sudden he starts screaming. He dug up the bones of our old dog. I told him that we had sent him away to live on a farm, I even helped my son write letters to the farm owners. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 005

You deserved it 93 203

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 02/03/2013 00:54 - United States

Today, I noticed my dog chewing on something while on the couch. It looked like a wash rag of some sort, so I grabbed it from my dog. It wasn't until after I picked it up that I noticed it wasn't a wash rag. It was a small, dead bird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 780

You deserved it 3 125

mpj13 8

Thursday 10 January 2013 18:55

How do you even get the two confused?

Werken247 14

Thursday 10 January 2013 18:56

Were you and your husband related before you got married? C'mon now tell the truth.

Comments

Thpwns 5

Friday 11 January 2013 5:14

Did you have the heart to tell him or did you give it back to him

kalbrek009 20

Friday 11 January 2013 6:15

Sorry that your son isn't the brightest crayon in the box. You need to set him straight.

Barbelo 3

Friday 11 January 2013 7:34

Seems like a Darwin Award just waiting to crack open.

jennuhm 4

Friday 11 January 2013 9:00

YDI for not maintaining a clean house and for not teaching your kid the difference between a birds egg and dried up shit

love_me_electric 20

Friday 11 January 2013 22:06

The kid's 14 years old, she shouldn't need to clean his room for him.

Barbelo 3

Friday 11 January 2013 10:52

You've spawned one dumb ************.

fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22

Friday 11 January 2013 11:00

Time for extra biology class :)

Raykyogrou03 12

Friday 11 January 2013 20:54

At least he didn't try to make scrambled eggs--you would have to get rid of your kitchen.

wironandine 8

Saturday 12 January 2013 17:08

LMAO!!!

jellyghost 12

Sunday 13 January 2013 6:38

Just his clever way of saying your a shitty patent

zomgbies 17

Thursday 10 October 2013 22:23

Your raised that idiot. YDI

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The Top

Today, I was driving to visit my parents for the first time in two years. After spending about $4000 to make sure my car wouldn't break down on the journey, around the halfway point, the front tire popped and the engine blew out. I'm about 5 states away from both my parents and my home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 732

You deserved it 489

Today, I lost it on my co-workers about how hard I've been working, picking up everyone's slack with no appreciation, and it was clear that I needed to find a job that actually rewarded hard work. As I went to grab my jacket to leave, I saw a cake and gift card for a cruise on the table, from the staff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 136

You deserved it 72 917

The Top

Today, for my birthday, someone left a big bottle of mouth wash on my desk with a big bow on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 334

You deserved it 18 072

Today, my car broke down because it couldn't wait two more days for an oil change. Now it might be FUBAR. FML

I agree, your life sucks 230

You deserved it 753

Today, my husband of 4 years announced that he doesn’t love me anymore and that he’s leaving me for his coworker who he met 2 months ago. I helped him find that job. It’s like I aided in the destruction of my own marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 367

You deserved it 106

Today, I have bronchitis. A few days ago, my doc prescribed antibiotics, which are helping, but also cause a really nasty upset stomach. I tell ya, violent coughing fits and severe diarrhea do NOT go well together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 78

Today, I pulled up to a stoplight and blew past the car beside me to merge into one lane. About 30 seconds later, I ran out of gas right in front of them. We were on a bridge, and I had to push my car all the way across. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 110

You deserved it 61 914

Today, I went on my afternoon stroll to my local park. As I reached the park a little boy was peeing in the bushes nearby. His mother called. As I walked by, he turned, still peeing, right to me. He ended up peeing on the front of my pants and on my shoes. My house is 2 miles away from the park. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 612

You deserved it 3 204