Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I gave a safe sex speech to teens at my local high school. This was just ten minutes after my girlfriend had texted me telling me she's pregnant. FML
Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML
Today, I had to call a parent and tell them that their special needs daughter is pregnant. FML
Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML
Today, my youngest, the 17 year-old, told me she’s pregnant. That makes it official: despite all my warnings about safe sex, all three of my daughters got pregnant before the age of 18. FML
Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML
Today, I went with my son to a conference about sexual education at his high school. I guess it was all too late, because among the attendees I saw three girls from the same high school who were already pregnant. They aren't even 18. FML
Today, after ranting to my best friend about how all our friends are having kids and how teenage pregnancy will ruin their lives, she announced to me that she's pregnant. FML
Today, not only did I find out that my 13 year-old daughter is pregnant, I found out that she did it on purpose "to prove that she’s responsible." FML
Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML
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Top comments
Arenick 0
Im guessing your daughter never came to one of these speakings right?
dspadres 0
I didn't know Sarah Palin visited FML! Awesome.
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Comments (270)
dspadres 0
I didn't know Sarah Palin visited FML! Awesome.
sarah2144 14
#13, I love you. And OP: Ouch. FYL.
karmareaction 0
YOU are awesome, #13.
volleyballgirl16 0
haha #13 you win lets get married
kayceesaysfyl 0
#13, haha your awesome :PP and no offense to the OP but you have a really stupid daughter. I'm guessing she rebels against your speeches ?
plexico 4
You wrote it so I didn't have to. Thanks!
RPGod 0
MARRY ME!
letitbe56 0
Why was Plexico's comment buried? A) He's almost never serious and B) his comment wasn't offensive. I was actually thinking the same thing!
divaboots 8
lmfaooo >.>
fmlfmlfml15 0
#13 MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY LOL. U WIN. Maybe the daughter should start watching The Secret Life because she can relate.
amstillives 0
Will you MARRY ME #13!! I love you DSPADRES x33333
boatkicker 5
I think the point was that this is actually Ionic where as the song wasn't. Hasn't taken me 14 years to figure it out Did take me until I was 14 though......
boatkicker 5
Ooops that comment was supposed to be in reply to something else. IDK how it ended up ehre....sorry
abharder156 0
OMG I love #13. Amazing.
pipsqueak2099 0
@ #17: MLIA :P
DuhthatsObvious 0
13 I LOVE YOUUU!
efmivida 0
she doesnt suck as a parent because her daughter got pregnant, it could have been a date rape that the daughter is too embarassed to admit it was rape. & she might have just made a mistake and been pressured into it, its easier to say you wont do something in a certain situation than actually do it and she might have been too scared to ask her mom for the morning after pill afterwards. im sure they will be fine though
klutzy4 0
Just because the daughter got pregnant doesn't mean the woman was a bad mother. It's totally possible for teens to have sex even with overprotective parents. I have had numerous opportunities to have sex, and my mother was so overprotective that I wasn't allowed to have a sleepover until I was 13, and had already been on the week long class trip.
mcgoldy 0
This comment is made of win. I was about to say the same thing, but you made it funnier and said it first.
Jordie210 0
Wow you're cool 150!
Loony_fml 4
Those were my thoughts exactly! :D
AAAAHHHH12 2
Ouch. The irony stings.
fmh123 0
Yikes FYL for sure Irony
Rasputia 0
HA!!
andrewms 0
how ******* dare you turn your daughter's situation into "how bad this looks for me"... i hope you ******* die for not being a true parent that can make the best of issues, and to support your child.
123sploosh 0
thats not what she's saying at all :/ be nice
dcstream 0
You're an idiot, and the daughter is a dumb *****. You two would make a great couple.
antiflamer5 0
get over your problems.
SaintJimmy 0
She's FOURTEEN!??!?!
dcstream 0
YDI for not teaching her about butt sex.
lolololcheese 0
hahahaha yes.
MCofpwnage 0
OMG, you hit the nail on the ******* head :)
goneburger 0
Hahaha good call!
rotyeqnor 0
Luck has nothing to do with getting pregnant or not. Of course teens have sex, that's what they do, but be realistic about it, tell them about condoms and the pill, get the girl to see a doctor. Parents (mothers) like OP who tell their children that they can also abstain from sex untill they're married (or 40) make them believe that it might be ok to do just not ok to tell them. Girls like you end up thinking that it's a bit like russian roulette and take a chance on it, maybe even believing you can not get pregnant (or an STD) if its your first time.
Nonamerequired 0
Looks like you've failed. Now go do what #19 says.
Jessie5099 0
YDI for being a shitty parent.
teqifsha 0
Irony is a cruel mistress.