Intimacy: Today, like every other day, my boss referred to my breasts as...

By Emily27 - 20/01/2012 11:56 - United Kingdom

Today, like every other day, my boss referred to my breasts as pillows he needs to nap on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 391

You deserved it 4 947

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Whipping boy

By Anonymous - 02/03/2021 02:01 - United States

Today, like every day, my boss was complaining about something or other, but this time it was work that I knew he'd done himself, and he still blamed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 892

You deserved it 67

By WeightonmyShoulders - 11/12/2015 21:10 - United States - Canandaigua

Today, I realized that I know, all too well, what it feels like to have my over-middle-age boss's boob on my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 689

You deserved it 1 750

By Anonymous - 19/06/2009 16:32 - United States

Today, my boss came over to my desk and struck up a casual conversation about movies. After a while, he sat on the edge of my desk, nodded toward my chest, and said in the same casual, lighthearted tone, "And nice cleavage today. Keep that up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 201

You deserved it 13 710

Dat ass

By brandonborgie - 10/08/2021 04:01 - Australia

Today, my boss slapped me on the ass and said, "Good work, princess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 246

You deserved it 125

By Sleepy - 09/10/2014 14:10 - United Kingdom - Hayes

Today, I fell asleep at my desk. It's bad enough that it was for 45 minutes and that I was snoring. What makes it worse? My boss woke me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 001

You deserved it 15 657

Creep in chief

By wow @ creepy fuckers - 17/11/2012 01:06 - United States

Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 153

You deserved it 6 145

By raquelcita - 26/08/2016 06:05 - United States - Winter Park

Today, I went to my boss with concerns that my manager is dumping her responsibilities on me. He agreed and told me to just do whatever she wants. She gets paid twice as much as me to talk on her cellphone all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 673

You deserved it 1 025

By Anonymous - 04/06/2018 20:30

Today, like most days, I spent my lunch break with a sandwich in one hand while typing with the other, trying to keep up with my work load, while my coworker took a nap. We're supposed to be doing the same job, but he refuses to learn most of the software. The boss is fine with this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 770

You deserved it 384

The 1970s called…

By titsmcgee - 11/02/2015 21:51 - United States - Oak Brook

Today, the CEO of my company leaned over and said, "Hey, I've been meaning to thank you…" I thought he was going to thank me for all of my hard work, but he continued, "…for wearing that shirt today. I can totally see your boobs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 220

You deserved it 7 064

Bye bye

By Dan - 17/11/2020 22:58

Today, I fell asleep at work. I got woke up by my boss with a coffee and a referral letter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 1 057

IceeCreamm 7

Friday 20 January 2012 16:01

sexual lawsuit, like a boss!

DocBastard 38

Friday 20 January 2012 17:04

Silentbutfunny - you are (unfortunately) neither of the adjectives in your username.

Comments

MissCutiee 0

Saturday 21 January 2012 6:55

Sexual harassment! File it!

manuel3272001 6

Saturday 21 January 2012 7:07

Omg!!! You got a perfect sexual harassment charge right there!! You can get tons of money!!

emonsteadman 0

Saturday 21 January 2012 7:17

Maybe you should stop wearing shirts that inappropriately show your **** off.

robberry 11

Saturday 21 January 2012 7:27

Record it > hire a lawyer

muhilrashid 4

Saturday 21 January 2012 7:48

He probably said that as a compliment or hes a pervert either or

kei1108 13

Saturday 21 January 2012 7:48

That is such horrible sexual harassment. Please report it!

hogwartsbitches 6

Saturday 21 January 2012 11:08

My friends do this to me all the time! It's awkward when they actually fall asleep, though!

horselover7766 4

Saturday 21 January 2012 17:05

You should be happy!!!! He thinks you have good **** (.)(.)

phuckejiu 3

Saturday 21 January 2012 17:32

**** or gtfo

pinkcrayola 0

Saturday 21 January 2012 17:36

Ydi for not filing sexual harassment sooner. If its legal in your state, secretly record him.

Keywords

Art Kids Health Birthday Covid Relatable Love Transportation Awkward Cars Family Poopoo peepee Gross Neighbours Sex Intimacy Lonely Dreams Management Work Jealousy Mental health Relationship advice Miscellaneous Friends Parents Abuse Healthy Lifestyle Ironic Food

The Top

Today, I received a rejection e-mail from a potential employer I interviewed with. I asked for some feedback and they said I didn't seem interested. I had showed extensive interest, even brought up some of the company's recent events, and literally said, "I'm very interested in this position." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 437

You deserved it 437

Today, I went on a first date. It started out OK, but halfway through he began "debating" me, talking just like Ben Shapiro. I thought he was joking, or at least satirising the worst way you could talk during a date. I was wrong; he was serious. I'm still not sure what set him off, but I couldn't get a word in edgeways in after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 212

You deserved it 261

The Top

Today, I ran into my mother-in-law, who I absolutely can't stand, with my car at 5 mph by accident. She jumped out in front of me after a particularly nasty argument, but my husband won't believe me and neither will the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 064

You deserved it 569

Today, I found out my mother has enough toys to open a sex shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 750

You deserved it 5 947

Today, my boss fired me. Then later on Facebook, his public status was, "Finally fired the sumo wrestler!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 89

Today, I took a friend home from the hospital. She was on medication that made her drowsy. She fell onto her bed and asked me to help her take off some clothes since she had her winter gear on. She passes out and her roommate walks in and catches me undressing an unconscious girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 808

You deserved it 3 315

Today, I found my old sewing machine I got when I was a kid. I never used it before, because when I was younger, I was afraid I might sew my fingers. Laughing at myself, I decided to sew up an old bag. I sewed my thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 937

You deserved it 27 087

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 847

You deserved it 61 702