Today, it was easter and I thought it might be fun to look for eggs with my little brother. My parents told me to take the ones in the higher places that my brother couldn't reach. All of his eggs were filled with candy or money. Each one of mine had a note saying 'maybe when you lose weight'. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I had an Easter Egg Hunt in my backyard for my kids. When they collected all the eggs, they opened them and to their dismay there was no candy inside. When I bought them, I thought they already came with candy. It’s been two hours and my kids won’t stop crying. FML
Today, for Easter, my brother and sister both got $200 gifts from my parents. I got a chocolate egg. I'm allergic to chocolate. FML
Today, my parents told me that I will grow up to be a criminal, living on the streets, on drugs. All this because I took the last chocolate egg. FML
Today, while at work at my grocery store I sold a TON of eggs to a bunch of kids. We joked around that they were "going to bake a giant cake." When I got home I found out someone had egged my house. FML
Today, I woke up and decided to make my mom a special Easter breakfast in bed. I pre-heated the oven to bake the sausage just the way she likes. Guess where my easter basket was. FML
Today, during an Easter egg hunt, I found divorce papers. FML
Today, it's Easter Sunday and from what I can hear, my neighbors invented a very special kind of Easter egg hunt. Maybe they hid them in the walls and furniture? Because getting at them sure seems to involve power tools. FML
Today, I discovered a drawer full of chocolates, cookies and baked goods in my house. When I asked my sister what the drawer was, she told me that my mom thought it would be a good idea to hide the fattening foods from me. My entire family had known about the food drawer, except me. FML
Today, it is both my birthday and Easter. My whole family came into town and my mom made a big dinner with all of my favorite foods. After church, I took a nap. When I woke up, all the food, including my cake, was gone. No one thought to wake me up. FML
Today, I decided to go on a diet to lose some weight before summer. This was followed by the arrival of a giant parcel full of candy from my mother. FML
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Top comments
Aera_fml 0
Wow. Next holiday (maybe Christmas) give your mom a note in a Tiffany's box that says, "Maybe when you pull that pine cone out of your ass" and give your dad the same note in an equally exciting box.
cyxx 0
Ouch, that's mean ... They could have just filled your eggs with money instead of candy, which would've been a subtle hint. That was harsh.
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Comments (140)
arm89 0
wow you have REALLY rude parents. i would be ashamed to have parents that mean!
k10tree 0
They couldn't even give you the money?
kristenlee 3
"a) we got the school to enroll her in a second gym class and let us know if she wasn't participating in it (she used to be the type that walke daway from the ball when it flew toward her and did not make an effort to catch/hit anything)." im sorry, but that is not the right thing to do at all. thats more of a fml than this is.
brittanycraze 0
wow.. your parents suck ass. I'd flip shit and smack a bitch.
brittanycraze 0
AND i would give your mom a bunch of makeup.. and be like, oh, maybe this will make you more attractive.
libertyprime 0
Clearly the Internet is Serious Business for #32.
cheeriously 4
Good one !!
jazzjazz09 0
that's mean, you must be morbidly obesed if your parents are telling you that.
_mcs_ 0
Ouch, that's cruel. #39 Or maybe their parents are completely heartless douche bags.
DefyingGravity 0
How fat ARE you?! Goodness.
Art_Vandeley 0
loose weight wait til next easter ??? win