Today, it was confirmed that the "no pet rule" in my apartment complex is so strict that I'm not even allowed to have sea monkeys. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Today, I came home to an eviction notice after an apartment inspection. The reason? Having an unauthorized pet that could cause unnecessary damage to my suite. My pet is a goldfish. FML
Today, my landlord came to my apartment because of complaints from my neighbors, saying that animals are not allowed inside. Turns out my roommate makes cat-noises when she's bored. My landlord still doesn't believe me. FML
Summer vibes
Today, my roommates adopted two kittens without consulting me. We're not allowed to have pets in our apartment and I'm severely allergic to cats. Oh well, it's not like I needed to be able to breathe this summer. FML
Today, I came home to a lease violation and a $220 fine after a routine pest control visit. The violation: my single beta fish in a small bowl. FML
WTF?
Today, I was denied an animal adoption because I said "babies" instead of "kittens". Apparently that means I'm not serious about pet ownership. What?! FML
Today, I learned that my new apartment complex does not allow "altercations in community areas". This includes pulling my child out of the pool and reprimanding him for holding his cousin under water. I can't parent outside my apartment. FML
Fined
Today, my apartment complex added $250 to the $1,000 my roomate and I already owe because of an unauthorized pet and complaints from neighbors that our dog barks all night long. We don't have a dog, we don't even have a pet. FML
HOAs suck
Today, my condo board refused to lift the new policy, which requires pet owners to carry their dogs in common areas after someone's dog kept peeing in the hall. I can't physically carry my two dogs, so I'm now forced to wheel them through the building in a borrowed baby stroller. FML
Today, I called the landlord about the mouse I keep seeing in my kitchen. He wasted no time accusing me of keeping it as a pet, and went off on me about his "No Pets" policy. FML
WOOF WOOF
Today, my upstairs neighbors, in my supposedly pet-free apartment complex, got a puppy. It’s a Great Dane. FML
Top comments
Angitia 8
Wow... what the hell could a bunch of shrimp possibly do?
AugustBurnsToast 14
What about pet rocks?! :D
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Comments (130)
duckiegirl21 10
I wonder what the Tamagotchi policy is.
nfjskcbdkdjdjdn 2
They're a bit old for your time.
bassmaestro 10
Why the hell do you need sea monkeys
QRSpecV 0
Sea monkeys are stupid anyway
purpleisbloo 13
Maybe it's time for a pet rock?
Joui_fml 11
Maybe you shouldn't try to imprison them in a little glass cage. Although... It would probably be better than their previous home, which is usually the case. But for you to support the engineering and mass production of those poor little things?
Ilikeike 4
Sea Monkeys suck.
Ihatecupcakes17 0
Oh god, the comments on here are both smart and funny. "maybe it's time for a pet rock?" or "I wonder what the tamagotchi policy is?" you guys on FML rock! Also, I have three tanks of them. They can live in dormant stage for like two years. Put them in a mason jar and hide them, I guess.
wsdarrah 14
Boo :( sea monkeys rock. Get them and keep them a secret OP.
bleedingglitter 24
Yeah I was once told that I needed to get rid of my hermit crab that I had owned for 3 years. They couldn't justify a reason for me to not be able to keep him though so they just left me alone.