Today, it was both my and my stepmother's birthday. In preparation, my dad bought a huge banner with my stepmother's name on it, and a lovely birthday cake. When I told him it was also my birthday, he just grunted and taped a post-it note to the banner with my name on it. Same with the cake. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, it's my birthday. I'm a pastry chef by profession. Not only did my family buy a cake from my bakery, I had to make it myself and inscribe it with 'Happy Birthday Dad'. The worst part is, they asked money from me to pay for it. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My wife took me to my favorite restaurant for dinner. She made me pay for my birthday dinner, along with hers. She also got me a gift card to HER favorite store. FML
Today, I called my dad asking him to wish me a happy birthday. Yay. FML
Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me, "Oh, I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML
Today, I got a birthday card from my parents. It was my sister's from earlier in the year. They scratched out her name and wrote mine underneath. FML
Today, it was my friend's birthday, so I baked him a cake complete with his name written on it in homemade frosting. After I gave it to him, his mother berated me for it, saying I should have checked with her first before making a cake for her son. He's 28. FML
Today, the only "Happy birthday!" I got was from the cake I bought for myself. FML
Today, as I was waiting in line to give my mom her birthday present, my dad gave her the exact same gift I'd also bought for her. FML
Today, it was my birthday. The only person who remembered was my dad who got me a phone charger for my car, which I didn't even need because he got me the same exact thing last year. FML
Today, I celebrated my birthday with my family. While they were singing Happy Birthday to me, my mother called me by my brother's name. When I blew out the candles a moment later, I joked, "I wish my mother could remember which son I am." Before we had even started eating the cake, she called me by my father's name. FML
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Top comments
babyblue666 1
as soon as u can u need to leave there is no reason ur dad should be putting anyone before his own child
Raaaawr123 0
Your dad didn't know it was your birthday? wow great dad.
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Comments (121)
MarioandSonic 8
op , throw the cake in his face, he's a massive asshole .
Mirorbo 27
Your Step-Mom is probably scarier, darling, so he needs to kiss up to her more if he doesn't want a punishment.
ipapix 0
can you say douche bag?
LuxAeterna_fml 0
dougce boag
DaveOnDope 4
#60 is a win!
Flamehog9 0
duck barge? doul buck? boosh wag? Dammit, I just can't do it!
SaRah_In_LoVe 0
Way to steal the spotlight from your stepmom!
emileeann 0
bitch much?
Susieee_Q 9
I think she was being sarcastic, you intelligent human being.
agirlnamedlogan 5
Bitch, please.
ruffianzlol 0
dads can be so cheap lol
GetaLifePlease 0
deadmau5 FTW
Deadm4u5 0
love deadmau5!!!
Nani16 0
What an asshole ! I would be so pissed if my dad ever forgot my birthday and did some shit like this.
IHeartJimi02 0
I agree. A post-it note? That's so ridiculous.
jamnglamgirlie 17
WHAT!? OH I NO HE DIDNT PUT THT HEFFA BEFORE HIS OWN FLESH AND BLOOD! dnt blame ur step mom. WHEN IT'S HIS BIRTHDAY DONT GET HIM SHIT! AND WHO STICKS A POST IT NOTE ON A CAKE!? UR OLD MANS NEVER HEARD OF CRAYONS, MARKERS, COLORED PENCILS, OR PAPER? AND HE COULD'VE GONE AND GOTTEN ANOTHER CAKE! AND IF HE DIDNT HAVE THE MONEY THN HE COULD'VE GOTTEN SOME CAKE MIX AND FROSTING!
ghbetuehe 0
I would punch your dad in the face and eat the whole cake in front of your stepmother. Then I would throw it all up onto her face. Then I would laugh. JK. No, but really.
ryanst 7
Your comment wouldn't had more effect if you wrote out "Just Kidding." instead of "JK."
Gloritank 8
YDI for copying your stepmother's birthday. She had it first you know.
docscientist 10
That might not be true.
DKjazz 20
Or, they could have been born on the same day, and the same year. Some possibilities come to mind: 1)Random coincidence 2)OP is schizophrenic, so she can reconcile the fact that she is married to her dad. Serious daddy issues. 3)Evil Twin 4)???? 5)Profit!
Lufferkinz 0
Yeah, because EVERYONE can control when they are born. Douchebag.
ohmandapants 17
I see that you all have trouble with the concept of humor..
princess_patches 2
wow that was so kind of him. what is wrong with people today. cant even remember their childrens birthdays