Today, it took a whole half hour of scratching my head before I realized with horror that the weird tickling sensation I'd been feeling was actually a spider crawling around in my hair. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML
Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML
Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I'm allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist, and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML
Today, I was relaxing in bed with an arm kind of behind my head, when I noticed a huge spider resting on my armpit. My sister said my screaming sounded like a "witch being burned to death" for all of 5 seconds before I realized the "spider" was just my armpit hair. FML
Today, despite years of paranoid checking, I forgot to check my towel for spiders after my shower. Two crawled onto me, and I'm pretty sure there's one somewhere in my hair. FML
Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML
Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML
Today, I thought I had a stick stuck in my hair. A very pokey stick. That aggressively bit my face when I tried to get it out of my hair. It was a big ass spider. My face feels like it's been punched. FML
Today, I went to pull a nose hair out, only to end up pulling a spider out by its legs. FML
Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML
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Top comments
tony1891 22
your spider senses need some work.
DocBastard 40
Considering the chance that the little ****** laid eggs in there, there's only one reasonable option: You must shave your head. Do it now.
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Comments (75)
DewIchigo 17
No no nopee.
Llama_Face89 34
Anyone else's head start itching after reading this..?
DoubleDosexo 12
one time, while taking a shower this orange and black jumped into my hair. didn't feel it. don't know how it didn't die. after wards, I saw it while looking in the mirror and my mom had to get it out.
Kittyphysics 21
one spider is better than a headfull of lice.
DenverTyrrell 13
:O I would have shit my self! Erm I mean ptfff spiders aren't scary! I'm a man! :S
Tsukiyomi 16
Kill it with fire
scottyboy417 19
And at that moment you realized you could be a ninja.
Audem_fml 27
Am I the only one having suddenly a weird scratching need ? :P
Hash13 13
Spider massage, now that's a first.
princessbloky 12
I would've shaved my head after that.