Today, it took a whole half hour of scratching my head before I realized with horror that the weird tickling sensation I'd been feeling was actually a spider crawling around in my hair. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML
Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML
Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I'm allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist, and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML
Today, I was relaxing in bed with an arm kind of behind my head, when I noticed a huge spider resting on my armpit. My sister said my screaming sounded like a "witch being burned to death" for all of 5 seconds before I realized the "spider" was just my armpit hair. FML
Today, despite years of paranoid checking, I forgot to check my towel for spiders after my shower. Two crawled onto me, and I'm pretty sure there's one somewhere in my hair. FML
Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML
Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML
Today, I thought I had a stick stuck in my hair. A very pokey stick. That aggressively bit my face when I tried to get it out of my hair. It was a big ass spider. My face feels like it's been punched. FML
Today, I went to pull a nose hair out, only to end up pulling a spider out by its legs. FML
Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML
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Top comments
tony1891 22
your spider senses need some work.
DocBastard 40
Considering the chance that the little ****** laid eggs in there, there's only one reasonable option: You must shave your head. Do it now.
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Comments (75)
irf 3
Who else started scratching their heads after reading this?
WeLikeIke 23
Nifty tip for an awesome haircut that drives spiders away: The Buddhist Arsonist. Step One: Shave your hair off to maul said spider. Step Two: grab a blowtorch and set your head on fire to finish the haircut and burn the spider's remains off your head.
mewlugia 8
BURN YOUR HAIR!!!!!!! NOW!!!!!! BURN IT BEFORE THEY HATCH!!!!!!!
Lylliaah 15
And the high jump record goes to... OP, for coming unglued.
missmisery86 11
ughh worst nightmare!
AliGInTheHouse 24
That happened to me when I was 11. I didn't give 2 damns. I just let them out when they felt like it.
worldclassrager 41
Now unfortunately you have to shave your head...better get a hat as well
RayvenWhite 12
.....Yea, I'm currently rubbing my head now
Callmeseansaur 9
That is the kind of thing nightmares are made of.
fuggotmuggot 14
How did you find out?