Today, it's the third day of my dad's revenge after he snapped over me supposedly using the word "duh" in every other sentence. He got his hands on my old recorder and has been playing it loudly and out of tune outside my room when I try to do my homework. My mom thinks this is hilarious. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my dad had fun embarrassing me as much as possible in my parent-teacher conference by moaning whenever the teacher talked. FML
Today, I came home from school to find almost every single personal possession and piece of furniture from my bedroom all laid out or disassembled in the back yard. My dad smugly told me I'd better start moving it all back. This is his revenge for me salting his coffee this morning. FML
Today, it's the third week of my dad's midlife crisis. So far he's blown half my college fund pimping out his piece of shit car, keeps texting me meme pictures, and keeps yelling "Savage!" and "Recked!" any time my mom makes a joke at anyone's expense. FML
Today, I played a friendly prank on my dad, loosening the legs of his chair so it would fall apart when he sat on it. He responded by making me stand outside and watch as he keyed both sides of my car, front to back, as punishment. FML
Today, my dad made a big show of sending me to my room and grounding me for a week. Not because he heard me cursing at my video game, but because I "swear like a little girl" and it embarrassed him in front of his friends. FML
Today, I was woken up to my mom playing the piano awfully. I screamed down the stairs "you suck, stop playing!" Turns out it was my 5 year old cousin playing a recital. For my entire family. FML
Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML
Today, my dad is still mad because I tossed his empty coffee can over 3 days ago. FML
Today, my dad came up into my room and told me that as a consequence of breaking my MacBook in anger, he’s punishing me by helping him with yardwork every single hour of the day. FML
Today, my dad threatened to kick me out and cut me off if I didn't apologize to his girlfriend, whom I don't get along with. She found the heavily used textbook I bought from a second hand bookstore, which is full of funny doodles and tons of harsh hate messages to a certain "Susan", which coincidentally is her name. FML
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Top comments
Sethro 1
I guess you probably shouldn't say " duh" in every other sentence then.
theguy33 1
Well I agree with your mom that is pretty funny.
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Comments (104)
Pslcybn5 7
This doesn't make sense
every1luvsboners 11
While the OP is trying to do homework her dad is playing an old recorder/radio at a high volume that is out of tune with the intention of annoying her while she is studying. Better? Try reading it over and over until it sinks into your brain before commenting and making me go through this trouble, asswhore.
writergirl23 19
Well repetitive word syndrome is annoying.
alycion 39
It's a phase I luckily skipped. Probably because if I slipped into it I would have been hit upside the head every time I used the word. A recorder sounds like a nice alternative. Head to the pharmacy and get some ear plugs and a thesaurus.
divine69 0
Simple minds, simple pleasures
ohSNAPyall 27
Preventing you from studying will not improve your vocabulary.
Bakarra 22
who doesn't listen to music while doing homework? if you have to do homework in complete silence then you have add, just sayin...
False_Stupidity 42
There's a noticeable difference between listening to actual music and the discordant screeching notes of a badly played recorder.
sadistmonkey 19
"Duh, winning" on the part of your dad?
armywife0609 4
so then get him back play a joke on him maybe it will get him off your back and make it a really good and I have some ideas so let me know ivy need help ; )
ilikepieandpie 11
I hate people who say duh or like constantly. ydi
scdragon 0
Break the record, and light it on fire outside his door dancing some tribal dance lol
itsmygoodlife 4
saying the word duh a lot is ******* annoying. and your dad is hilarious