Relatable, Awkward and Love: Nice imagery

Nice imagery

By nekogirl15 - 27/10/2011 01:38 - United States

Today, I convinced my best friend to talk to the guy I like at work to find out if he was interested in me. She came back ten minutes later, and told me he said he'd never be able to date me. Apparently, kissing me "would be like making out with Mother Teresa's corpse." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 325

You deserved it 3 829

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

Silver linings

By 10 years, 0 dates - 28/11/2020 11:03

Today, I wanted to ask out this cute girl I used to work with. Before I could, she said she likes my only friend there, and asked if could I set them up. Trying to be nice guy and good friend, I did. Then she made her complete lack of interest in me obvious. But hey, at least the gay guy she hung out with thought I was cute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 826

You deserved it 140

Proselytism

By Anonymous - 08/12/2023 16:00 - Brazil - São Paulo

Today, after many days of glances, smiles, and small talk, I tried to kiss a man from my gym in the parking lot. He dodged and asked why. I said I thought it was what he wanted, given his apparent interest. He said that he's only like that because he does missionary work, and wanted to become a friend. I'm a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 754

By ShouldHaveDoneItMyself - 05/07/2016 17:04 - Sudan

Today, I didn't have the courage to tell the guy who likes me that I only thought of him as a friend, so I asked my best friend to do it for me. It turns out that her way of doing this is telling him to "Fuck off" and then punching him in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 121

You deserved it 12 396

Take the L

By Anonymous - 06/07/2020 17:02

Today, I confessed my feelings to my best friend, how I'm deeply in love with him. The consequence wasn't good, as he told me we should never talk to each other again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 676

You deserved it 216

Rom-com

By Anonymous - 15/10/2020 11:02

Today, I finally got the courage to tell my best friend who I'm crushing hard on that I like her. She gave me a look of revulsion and asked if I was joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 143

You deserved it 145

By alone_forever - 04/03/2009 21:03 - United States

Today, my best friend who I have been secretly in love with forever, was ranting about her ex-girlfriend. Then she said : "If only you were gay, we'd be perfect for each other." So I took the chance to tell her I was. She responded : "Well I am still not attracted to you though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 926

You deserved it 7 864

By Anonymous - 19/07/2015 18:02 - United States - Greensburg

Today, I had lunch with an old friend I've had a crush on for years. We're both single, so I figured it to be kind of like a date. Until he started talking about how he told his brother last night that we would never be a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 201

You deserved it 2 744

By Anonymous - 03/02/2015 18:23 - United States - Cheyenne

Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 271

You deserved it 2 907

Classic move

By qyx3lmnop24 - 20/12/2014 07:33 - United States - Napa

Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 411

You deserved it 5 073

By Anonymous - 03/12/2010 21:18 - Argentina

Today, a guy I've liked for a while asked if he could talk to me during break. He'd never done that before, so I was excited and said yes. As soon as we both sat down, he asked if I'd help him get a date with my best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 588

You deserved it 3 294

FMLandurstoo 9

Thursday 27 October 2011 5:59

I get that all of the time

krad204 21

Thursday 27 October 2011 5:58

That's harsh...

Comments

krad204 21

Thursday 27 October 2011 5:58

That's harsh...

Naomimi_fml 6

Thursday 27 October 2011 5:59

Necrophelia, anyone?

isitinmybedroom 11

Thursday 27 October 2011 6:00

Shot down

lilwaynerockz_fml 12

Thursday 27 October 2011 6:31

7 look at the OPs name

StoryOfTheYear 14

Thursday 27 October 2011 6:35

I wonder what made him not want to date her if she has an upside like that.

margie2194 12

Thursday 27 October 2011 7:07

At least she was honest. Some friends lie and to make you feel better prompting you to horrendously embarrass yourself in front of your crush

n_epic_fail 14

Thursday 27 October 2011 7:37

With his attitude you can bet he's not getting any, so necrophilia is his only option, or overpriced STD infested prostitutes... Yea OP, move on. Or just **** his brother.

n_epic_fail 14

Thursday 27 October 2011 7:41

With that attitude you can bet he's not getting any, so necrophilia is his only option, or overpriced STD infested prostitutes... Yea, just let that train pass you by OP a better one is coming along.

rkmepm 16

Thursday 27 October 2011 8:31

Mother Teresa was hot.

hinchkongfang 0

Thursday 27 October 2011 11:04

Buy a blue and white headdress and wear it in front of him...

crownlogic 25

Thursday 27 October 2011 11:52

45, neko means cat in Japanese, it has nothing to do with necrophelia

McDougal2013 0

Thursday 27 October 2011 12:05

You deserved it!

lilwaynerockz_fml 12

Thursday 27 October 2011 13:09

94- obviously I didn't think her name was such because necrophilia, I just laughed at the fact that the two words seemed so close.

sexylol_fml 4

Friday 28 October 2011 5:05

come the next day all badass!

lilwaynerockz_fml 12

Saturday 29 October 2011 2:49

Bring a gun and shoot his ass.

crownlogic 25

Saturday 29 October 2011 6:17

126, please leave the USA, you're making us look bad. In every FML.

FMLandurstoo 9

Thursday 27 October 2011 5:59

I get that all of the time

Spinnmaster 1

Thursday 27 October 2011 6:03

Me too! Donny? I that you!?

Spinnmaster 1

Thursday 27 October 2011 6:03

Me too! Donny? I that you!?

FMLandurstoo 9

Thursday 27 October 2011 6:11

No George, it's me, Herb.

HeyImPayton 0

Thursday 27 October 2011 8:26

How's your dog doing herb? :)

speshlk37 13

Thursday 27 October 2011 11:32

Get back here you mustly armed sumababitch...

Iheartfunny 1

Thursday 27 October 2011 22:11

Maybe he said it because kissing her would be heavenly. (see what I did there)

McPwner 0

Thursday 27 October 2011 5:59

First. And Mother Theresa is a beautiful woman, so don't be ashamed.

flockz 19

Thursday 27 October 2011 5:59

i always wanted to know what ******* a zombie would be like.....

flockz 19

Thursday 27 October 2011 6:07

eh, nevermind on second thought. it would always be trying to eat me. zombies do tend to do that.

docscientist 9

Thursday 27 October 2011 7:14

Just find the ones with gums only and you're golden.

flockz 19

Thursday 27 October 2011 7:32

but the only time they would give me head is when they wanted brain in return. and i'm not down for that shit.

zombicidal 11

Thursday 27 October 2011 14:08

ball gags are wonderful things flockz

docscientist 9

Thursday 27 October 2011 14:10

It's about what they want until you get what you want. After that, well, it's getting late and they gotta go.

ikickgingers 15

Thursday 27 October 2011 14:55

Mmm Necrophilia...

Iheartfunny 1

Thursday 27 October 2011 22:09

Well flockz when I was young I wanted to know the same thing so I invested in a ball gag. Good times but after a while the smell gets really bad, and im not just talking about rotting flesh.