Today, it's my birthday. The only thing I got was a coupon for a couples acupuncture session from my sister. I'm single and have an extreme fear of needles. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my birthday. My birthday present was a pelvic exam, and not even the good kind of pelvic exam. Woo hoo! FML
Today, it was my birthday. My parents got me a box of cupcakes. My brother got me a deck of cards. My aunt got me a brochure on how to quit smoking. I have diabetes, I don't play cards, and I don't smoke. FML
Today, the only "Happy birthday!" I got was from the cake I bought for myself. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My gifts were a stomach bug from my kid and a confession to a year-long affair from my (now soon-to-be-ex) husband of 21 years. Nobody even got me a card. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My mom got me a gym membership and a bunch of clothes that are a few sizes too small. FML
Today, it's my sixteenth birthday. The only gift I got was from myself: a positive pregnancy test. FML
Today, it's my 22nd birthday. The only person who remembered was the dentist who sent me a postcard in the mail. I stopped going to him four years ago. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML
Today, the only birthday present I got was a gift card to a steak house. Not a bad gift, but I'm a vegan. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My parents, with whom I live, told me that they didn't get me anything, but instead they said they would knock off a bit of the housekeeping I owe them. FML
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Top comments
jellitonoctopus 19
Needles to say you did not go, right?
Glitterhinoceros 14
Needles have never been the same after that Final Destination movie...
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Comments (98)
Foxy_On_Fire 21
It's my birthday to!! 1/23/90 and I'm 22 today. I woke up to my dog and a dead bird. Happy birthday!
eli352 0
Hey at least someone thought of you. Lol.
lilboybleau56 1
My birthday too so sorry
EduJav321 24
Acupunture.... See if you can exchange for a massage
anettes 7
aww, well, happy birthday . heh
mama2b3 20
Your sister's a bitch.
MorePewpewLessQQ 5
Happy birthday! :)
ilove80smetal 8
Sack up pansy. It'll help your stress go away.
instinctlove 1
It's my birthday too!!! And I just got some roses and a Jessica Simpson jacket. Single too we have that in common lol Happy Birthday!
soccercreator7 3
Like Dr.pepper, "trust me, I'm a doctor".