Today, it's my birthday. The only thing I got was a coupon for a couples acupuncture session from my sister. I'm single and have an extreme fear of needles. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my birthday. My birthday present was a pelvic exam, and not even the good kind of pelvic exam. Woo hoo! FML
Today, it was my birthday. My parents got me a box of cupcakes. My brother got me a deck of cards. My aunt got me a brochure on how to quit smoking. I have diabetes, I don't play cards, and I don't smoke. FML
Today, the only "Happy birthday!" I got was from the cake I bought for myself. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My gifts were a stomach bug from my kid and a confession to a year-long affair from my (now soon-to-be-ex) husband of 21 years. Nobody even got me a card. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My mom got me a gym membership and a bunch of clothes that are a few sizes too small. FML
Today, it's my sixteenth birthday. The only gift I got was from myself: a positive pregnancy test. FML
Today, it's my 22nd birthday. The only person who remembered was the dentist who sent me a postcard in the mail. I stopped going to him four years ago. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML
Today, the only birthday present I got was a gift card to a steak house. Not a bad gift, but I'm a vegan. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My parents, with whom I live, told me that they didn't get me anything, but instead they said they would knock off a bit of the housekeeping I owe them. FML
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Top comments
jellitonoctopus 19
Needles to say you did not go, right?
Glitterhinoceros 14
Needles have never been the same after that Final Destination movie...
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Comments (98)
Pelreskovich 11
The only thing running through my mind would be the acupuncturist tripping and falling on all the needles in me.. :/
Furrywhiplash 14
Just reading that made my spine shiver.
Pelreskovich 11
I've had nightmares regarding it. I've always wanted to try acupuncture, only reason I haven't.
rashadmahmoud 4
Pelreskovich you look like Rob Kardashian. Lol!
islander03 5
i think she's trying to encourage you here! she's saying go find someone to go to this "couples" session, and maybe after they can kiss every painful spot one by one . nothing like some therapy for your trauma ;)
baygirl564 9
Happy birthday and maybe you'll over come your fear
YamahaGuy777 0
Its the thought that counts!:)
GoW_Chick 15
Hey invite a cute guy to go with you, and when you get there ask him if he can hold your hand, and comfort you, because you're afraid of needles, but always wanted to try acupuncture, problem solved, most guys love to help a damsel in distress. :)
moodyreallyrocks 27
Face your fears!!!! LOL. Seriously though, very inconsiderate birthday gift....
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
ingrateful much?
luv2draw19 0
Acupuncture reminds me of Final Destination 5 when that dude dies
Johnny6speed 0
I hate needles too but I looooove Tattoos
Iknoweverything 29
Acupuncture needles don't really hurt. I do it all the time, I've only had one issue where they put the needle in a pressure point, and it was removed immediately... problem forgotten! It's the being hooked up to the electrical currents that should weird you out.
astralvagan 20
What a bitch!