Today, it's my birthday. My dad came to pick me up, but after I had put my backpack in the back seat and closed the car door, he drove off without me. It started to rain, and I was without my phone or wallet. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my parents and I went to the movies for my mom's birthday. After the movie, my mom and dad got into a fight, and left me at the movies. My cell phone was dead, and my house was about 12 miles away. They finally came and picked me up, hours later. FML
Today, my friend and I were getting picked up by his dad after a carnival. As I put my stuff in the back of the car and shut the door to walk around to get in the other side, his dad drove off, thinking I was in the car, leaving me to walk up their hill. It was midnight and I ended up lost. FML
Today, I got into an accident. As I was talking to a police officer about what happened, the tow truck driver managed to take my car and drive away, leaving me with no phone or wallet. I just spent an hour walking home in a hail storm. FML
Today, I was leaving a cafe with some of my friends. I had to sit in the back of the car by myself. I opened the door when I saw an old woman needing help getting to her car because it was raining. I shut the door and went to help. My friends thought I had gotten in. I was left in the rain with no phone. FML
Today, due to bad weather, my dad let me take his car to drive to my apartment 3 hours away. I only realized when I got there that my keys were still sitting on my parents' kitchen counter. FML
Today, my dad got extremely drunk, so I took away his car keys and left on foot. When I came back, I saw that he had broken down my door. Now my dad is mad at me for not giving him the keys when he was drunk, and I'm door-less. FML
Today, I was having my birthday party. My dad showed up late, blind drunk, and drove his car straight through my garage door. FML
Today, my dad came to pick me up. It would have been nicer if he'd had his clothes on. FML
Today, it's my birthday and my mom took me and some friends to an amusement park. Looking for a tampon, I found a phone in my mom's purse that I didn't recognize. Turns out my mom is cheating on my dad. Happy birthday to me, I guess. FML
Today, my father went missing. Naturally worried, we searched his workplace, hospitals, and other locations. Turns out he got arrested for driving around town drunk out of his mind. Oh, and it's my birthday. Thanks for throwing me a great (search) party, dad. FML
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Top comments
glenzhao2 16
Happy Birthday, you'll always be Daddy's little girl
Midrash 5
Wow.. Father of the year.
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Comments (89)
MYkumquatsOWN 1
I'm sure he did that because he loves you! That's what people tell me when my parents fml.
Grayscale 9
» Navigation : FMyLife → MYkumquatsOWN Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted Post anonymously?
shroomboy 4
So you're saying that he left her in the rain on her birthay out of love? Really?
EnEl_Infierno 15
"It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to, cry if I want to". Aww fyl, and chin up, Happy B-Day and many more to come op.
DomoLaDii 8
lmao
WarmPigBelly 4
Thought of this the second i read it.
scruffy_janitor5 1
Troll dad ftw
jus2much 0
Awww that sucks - happy birthday - hope your day gets better
perdix 31
What a diabolically clever moneymaking plan! I guess he decided he needed to be paid for the sperm donation he gave to your mom.
StoryOfTheYear 15
The replayability of this plan is astounding!
Freeze_fml 17
Just a subtle way of finding out how significant you are.
mdmenchaca 5
That's what you get for having it in your backpack dumbass, you should have them in your pants!!!!!
THE_A_TEEN 28
Hey genius, the fml doesnt state if the op's phone was in his/her backpack, don't be so quick to judge. :|
perdix 31
Hey, dumbass! The OP is from Macedonia -- they don't wear pants over there. That's why they are so ******* happy. Alexander the Great was Macedonian. How did they know he was "The Great?" Because he never wore pants -- aren't you paying attention?
enonymous 9
Wait he never wore pants? ... (tape recorder on) Note to self learn time travel... Kill person who invented pants... (tape recorder off)(tape recorder on) knick knack paddywhack give a dog a bone (tape recorder off)
dreamering 16
Are you the midget on the Sears?
aligiorav 11
He was just making sure he got home to the surprise party before you did...
badactor009 0
I didn't get to pick my Dad either.