Today, it's my birthday. My dad came to pick me up, but after I had put my backpack in the back seat and closed the car door, he drove off without me. It started to rain, and I was without my phone or wallet. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my parents and I went to the movies for my mom's birthday. After the movie, my mom and dad got into a fight, and left me at the movies. My cell phone was dead, and my house was about 12 miles away. They finally came and picked me up, hours later. FML
Today, my friend and I were getting picked up by his dad after a carnival. As I put my stuff in the back of the car and shut the door to walk around to get in the other side, his dad drove off, thinking I was in the car, leaving me to walk up their hill. It was midnight and I ended up lost. FML
Today, I got into an accident. As I was talking to a police officer about what happened, the tow truck driver managed to take my car and drive away, leaving me with no phone or wallet. I just spent an hour walking home in a hail storm. FML
Today, I was leaving a cafe with some of my friends. I had to sit in the back of the car by myself. I opened the door when I saw an old woman needing help getting to her car because it was raining. I shut the door and went to help. My friends thought I had gotten in. I was left in the rain with no phone. FML
Today, due to bad weather, my dad let me take his car to drive to my apartment 3 hours away. I only realized when I got there that my keys were still sitting on my parents' kitchen counter. FML
Today, my dad got extremely drunk, so I took away his car keys and left on foot. When I came back, I saw that he had broken down my door. Now my dad is mad at me for not giving him the keys when he was drunk, and I'm door-less. FML
Today, I was having my birthday party. My dad showed up late, blind drunk, and drove his car straight through my garage door. FML
Today, my dad came to pick me up. It would have been nicer if he'd had his clothes on. FML
Today, it's my birthday and my mom took me and some friends to an amusement park. Looking for a tampon, I found a phone in my mom's purse that I didn't recognize. Turns out my mom is cheating on my dad. Happy birthday to me, I guess. FML
Today, my father went missing. Naturally worried, we searched his workplace, hospitals, and other locations. Turns out he got arrested for driving around town drunk out of his mind. Oh, and it's my birthday. Thanks for throwing me a great (search) party, dad. FML
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Top comments
glenzhao2 16
Happy Birthday, you'll always be Daddy's little girl
Midrash 5
Wow.. Father of the year.
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Comments (89)
daydreamer244 13
well for his birthday you can give him a bag of shit, then you'll be even.
varkey 7
How did he not notice after even a couple minutes? FYL
lover_of_fudge 2
Aww that sux ! Happy bday anyway
mxpklx 12
Omg. My dad did the same exact thing to me. I thought I had posted this and it finally got accepted. De ja vu. Or however you spell that.
PinkFun1969 9
Wow he is an ass!!?
pyrogirl6622 0
Next time get in with the backpack then put it in the back.
c3m 0
Happy Birthday to you eh? Sorry about that, hope your next birthdays make up for it, I'm sure one day they will (coming from a large family and having had many shitty or forgotten bdays in my life)
DanielleinDC 34
That's a pisser. I hope your dad came back to pick you up. Hope the rest of your b-day goes better.
Tillers 0
Happy birthday!
taazer 12
I can only say... HAPPY BIRTHDAY OP :)