Love: Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near...

By reallyman__639 - 13/12/2011 12:26 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 556

You deserved it 17 501

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/07/2009 06:31 - United States

Today, I opened some small cute birthday gifts at my boyfriend's house. As we left to go out, he slipped me a Tiffany box and said he wanted me to open it in private. Flushed and excited, I open it to find a ziploc filled with hair. It was his mustache I had been begging him to shave for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 797

You deserved it 20 448

By mylifesucks - 18/04/2009 07:20 - Netherlands

Today, I celebrated my 21st birthday. My boyfriend of almost 3 years gave me a big pink vibrator. Thinking it was a joke I said: "I won't need this as long as I have you!" His reply: "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 360

You deserved it 7 025

By Mazzam - 19/11/2008 11:33 - France

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 273

You deserved it 18 560

By salt. - 28/02/2012 22:04 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom". That's how he put it, anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 174

You deserved it 2 634

By NoRingForMe - 18/07/2012 17:03 - United States - Stamford

Today, I went into hysterics and started crying when my boyfriend pulled out a Tiffany's box at dinner. Then I found out he'd used the old box to make the $15 earrings he bought seem more "special." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 873

You deserved it 14 058

By nickrick12 - 19/07/2011 22:57 - United States

Today, as a 1 year anniversary present, my boyfriend let me see and wear my engagement ring. He then made me give it back at the end of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 167

You deserved it 5 858

Brown and sticky

By Jon - 14/03/2009 06:30 - United States

Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me, "Oh, I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 152

You deserved it 6 334

Nice try

By forgottenbday - 11/07/2012 05:09 - United States - Canoga Park

Today, my boyfriend treated me to a surprise romantic dinner, got me a huge balloon bouquet, a dozen roses, and a beautiful card for my birthday. Too bad it's his ex's birthday and not mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 610

You deserved it 2 762

Best birthday ever!

By IHateMyLife - 01/02/2021 08:01

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had promised that the day would belong to me. But no, I had to drive 80km forth and back to pick him up from work, then he took pictures with his new camera lens, then he decided what to eat, demanded a massage, and then he just fell asleep. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 168

You deserved it 272

Thanks, I guess…

By Anonymous - 21/09/2013 18:10 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 133

You deserved it 4 166

skinthesnakes 6

Tuesday 13 December 2011 16:04

Did you not "wand" it?

apache316 6

Tuesday 13 December 2011 16:06

Screw the necklace, I'd take the wand.

Comments

perdix 29

Tuesday 13 December 2011 17:13

Maybe for Christmas he'll get you a broom, you materialistic rhymes-with-witch!

Zeronos 0

Tuesday 13 December 2011 17:14

What a magical night. I'm totes jelly.

cherryllollo 7

Tuesday 13 December 2011 17:18

even better!

roonilwazlib 1

Tuesday 13 December 2011 17:22

If she doesn't like HP then why would he get her a wand? You should get stuff you like on your birthday. Oh, and #51: I'm 21 and would love to get a wand, or anything HP related, as a gift...

modernbenoni 8

Tuesday 13 December 2011 17:23

You got a gift that you did nothing in particular to earn, and it wasn't what you thought it was. FYL

guckylynn 19

Tuesday 13 December 2011 17:29

A gift is called a gift for a reason. You don't "earn" them.

Euphorically 14

Wednesday 14 December 2011 0:21

Oh please, I'm half asleep and even I can tell that's sarcasm.

ambowew 7

Tuesday 13 December 2011 17:27

They're obviously under the Confundus charm. I can't think of any other reason to explain their lack of intelligence.

bubo_fml 10

Tuesday 13 December 2011 17:28

If you play your cards right, you'll get 2 wands on your birthday...One from Ollivander's & one from your putz of a boyfriend...Happy B-day!

sheethapins 13

Tuesday 13 December 2011 17:28

Expectro neckliamice!

guckylynn 19

Tuesday 13 December 2011 18:04

You should've written mous because mice just makes me think of the animal. In any case, it makes me think of nuclear mice and that does not sound like a good thing.

sheethapins 13

Tuesday 13 December 2011 18:27

Hermione? I had no idea you trolled FML. In any case Hagrid is the one with the nuclear mice and Ron told me to spell it that way. Hmm... The clues are coming together, go get Harry.