Today, I went to get a physical, forgetting I'd shaved my pubes...

By parkoursam - 10/3/2015 16:45 - United States - Chicago

Today, I went to get a physical, forgetting I'd shaved my pubes the day before and still had bad razor burn. My doctor told me I had "dicken pox" and was prescribing me with shaving cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30442

You deserved it

7210

Favorite

parkoursam tells us more :

Thanks for the advice lol

Health

Inspirational tale

Not a cheating!

Recycling helps

By phonemenace - 17/8/2011 09:50 - United States

Today, I counted the amount of stuff that my dad had bought within a week: a brand new boat, car, and truck. He also has countless gadgets at his office, including a 60" television. Our house is literally falling apart but Mr. Midlife-crisis won't do anything to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33659

You deserved it

2792

Favorite

By fatman - 14/12/2009 18:49 - United States

Today, I was on a plane. The person sitting next to me was using the plane's wifi, and was on Facebook. They joined the group 'I hate sitting next to fat people on airplanes'. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39638

You deserved it

11756

Favorite

By Anonymous - 26/2/2016 08:37 - Australia - Wilston

Today, I went to visit my dad for the first time in over a year, as I have been studying for my Master's degree in history halfway across the world. The first thing he said to me? "So, gotten a real job yet?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

20641

You deserved it

3285

Favorite

By jamalinho - 11/5/2011 17:51 - Bangladesh

Today, I worked 12 long hours cooped up in my office. Before leaving, my boss asked me whether I'll ever take my job seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35643

You deserved it

3391

Favorite

By erlad678 - 4/1/2011 02:59

Today, I was woken up by the sound of part of my kitchen ceiling hitting the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30586

You deserved it

2448

Favorite

By Yuck - 11/10/2018 05:00

Today, I worked a 12-hour shift. Today my parents' cat also had diarrhoea. Rather than clean it up when said cat projectile shat all through my bed, they simply closed my door and left it for me. Since it's in my room, apparently it's my problem. They can't understand why I'm pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3192

You deserved it

233

Favorite

By Anonymous - 3/10/2010 18:52 - United States

Today, I found out that instead of having four wisdom teeth, I have eight. They all have to be removed as soon as possible, which happens to be over the Christmas break. I get to spend my whole vacation in excruciating pain and a swollen face to boot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31710

You deserved it

3238

Favorite

By shit - 31/1/2009 04:40 - United States

Today, I found my drunken roommate asleep in my bed, naked, after he'd peed himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29112

You deserved it

1891

Favorite

By seeking new employment - 7/1/2016 01:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found out why my coworkers never invite me anywhere. Apparently, I "made a face" when one of them used the N-word, and it makes them uncomfortable to be around me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20701

You deserved it

2092

Favorite

By Fiancé problemsss - 5/1/2014 07:11 - United States - Billings

Today, despite all of the pictures and proof of my fiancé, my parents still think I have an imaginary boyfriend. They met him, and were there when he proposed. They think it's all a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58638

You deserved it

4334

Favorite

By Catois - 5/3/2010 05:17 - United States

Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25670

You deserved it

13128

Favorite

By trbaby - 14/2/2017 15:00 - United States - El Cajon

Today, I was at a house-warming party and my friend was in her kitchen making drinks. When I was almost done with my drink, I went to take the last gulp and saw three mouse turds stuck to the inside bottom of the glass. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6661

You deserved it

515

Favorite

By screwedfortheweek - 28/1/2016 23:39 - United States

Today, I started a new job. After being trained on several obscure computer programs I'm expected to use in just one day, my new boss informed me she's going on a week long vacation starting tomorrow. She's the only other person who knows how this program runs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20764

You deserved it

1468

Favorite

By Anonymous - 11/9/2013 13:29 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, I was asked to leave a church service for laughing at the kids trying to sing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25053

You deserved it

82384

Favorite

By FistFighter - 9/4/2011 04:01 - United States

Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26783

You deserved it

12881

Favorite

By Anonymous - 10/8/2013 04:02 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks

65619

You deserved it

6062

Favorite

By UnluckyLatina - 22/4/2016 03:30 - Canada - Montr?al

Today, I celebrated my friend's birthday. While everyone was completely wasted, a couple of friends suggested that I throw a pie in the birthday boy's face. Only seconds after doing so did I realize that the centre of the pie had still been burning hot, since he screamed in agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15595

You deserved it

12105

Favorite

By Anonymous - 8/2/2010 18:23 - United States

Today, I got ice cream with a guy I'd met at a wrestling match a few days ago. When I got home, I found out that my mother had been sitting in the parking lot and watched us through the windows. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30207

You deserved it

2800

Favorite

By fedemere - 28/5/2011 06:54 - United States

Today, I finally told the girl I've been after for more than a year that I'm attracted to her. Her response? A slight hug with a pat on the back as she said "There, there." FML

I agree, your life sucks

37811

You deserved it

4644

Favorite

By dormlyfe - 24/9/2015 02:23 - United States - Moraga

Today, I met new people at my dorm, only to find they already knew me because they listen to my boyfriend and me have sex all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17962

You deserved it

22621

Favorite

By Tiffer27 - 25/1/2016 18:02 - United States

Today, I went to a very important job interview. I was so nervous that I passed out right in front of the interviewer's desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21367

You deserved it

2418

Favorite

By HALIFAAA - 28/12/2015 13:56 - Germany - Braunschweig

Today, my boss sent me a Word document that he wanted me to make into a PowerPoint presentation for him. It was a set of proposals for the board of directors about cost-saving options. The third option was to eliminate my position in the company. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33265

You deserved it

2173

Favorite

By Sir Davos of Shit Creek - 13/5/2016 20:00 - Canada - Frankford

Today, my boss asked if I'd finished my work for the day. I've been binge-watching Game of Thrones this week, and I accidentally replied "Yes, Your Grace," British accent and all. He told me to stow my "sarcasm" or I'd be looking for a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8953

You deserved it

10941

Favorite

By Savannah - 1/8/2011 21:20 - United States

Today, my dad confessed that the only reason I'm alive today is because he couldn't afford to pay for an abortion. He couldn't afford it because he'd splashed out on brand new furniture at IKEA shortly before discovering my mom was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39961

You deserved it

2916

Favorite

By Donezoo - 8/1/2009 02:28 - United States

Today, my car was broken into. They broke the passenger side window and took my radio system. But they didn't take the remote for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20563

You deserved it

2312

Favorite

By Anonymous - 12/9/2017 20:00

Sashay away!

Today, someone called out "Ma'am!" while approaching me from behind, but then said "Oops, sir!" when I turned around. I was wearing a corset and miniskirt with leggings. They were correct the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3666

You deserved it

361

Favorite

By love_today - 30/5/2010 02:36 - Canada

Today, I got called a f***ing b**ch by one of my students. I teach kindergarten. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51181

You deserved it

7105

Favorite

By Anonymous - 20/12/2013 20:13 - United States - Rochester

Today, I finally told my father that I was picked on at college all this year over my hearing disability. When I told him one of the jokes they made about me, he burst out into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44732

You deserved it

3468

Favorite

By bewitched and bothered - 2/2/2009 13:25 - United States

Today, my boyfriend went into great detail over the Tiffany's jewelry he painstakingly selected for his previous girlfriends on their birthday. I got hand towels. In powder blue. From Target. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36376

You deserved it

2591

Favorite

By shatMyself - 22/4/2013 19:10 - United States

Today, I was admitted to the hospital for chronic constipation. I have to share a room with two other girls who are also having bowel problems. We're all on strong laxatives, and there's apparently only one bathroom in this place. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52354

You deserved it

3402

Favorite

By Noname - 27/1/2009 19:42 - Ireland

Today, I found the family's pet hamster under my mattress, he's been missing for six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32834

You deserved it

3162

Favorite

By Anonymous - 3/6/2013 05:47 - United States - Sanford

Today, I had to pee in my cat's litter box, just to avoid witnessing my mom having sex in the living room on my way to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

79088

You deserved it

6390

Favorite

By Joseflloyd - 12/5/2016 04:52 - United States - Carbondale

Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask a girl at my school for her number. As I was typing it into my phone, she pointed out the giant booger firmly attached to my sleeve. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13105

You deserved it

2427

Favorite

By :( - 27/7/2011 04:50 - United States

Today, I learned it's best not to piss off your mom when she's cutting your hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13275

You deserved it

42194

Favorite

By lehonj49 - 21/6/2013 16:10 - Australia - Burwood

Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50724

You deserved it

3637

Favorite

By canwesayfail - 18/5/2016 02:20 - United States - Gloucester

Today, the only part of my Psychology final that I was 100% confident in was my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11418

You deserved it

3125

Favorite

By ohman - 17/7/2009 17:29 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41143

You deserved it

8159

Favorite

By Anonymous - 15/11/2012 19:47 - Ireland

Today, I had to stand next to my wife at the supermarket, beet-red and pretending not to exist; about half an hour into our shopping, she completely lost her shit at the advertising on the loudspeaker, turned to another patron, and screamed into his face to shut the fuck up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21527

You deserved it

2466

Favorite

By meranda_johnson - 13/12/2012 08:58 - United States

Today, I have a cold. I can't begin to count how many times I've sneezed throughout the day, but I can count how many times I've sneezed so hard that I've peed myself: twice. Once while I was at work helping a customer, the other while sitting on the couch next to my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26728

You deserved it

2519

Favorite

By GM38 - 23/6/2012 02:57 - United States - Melbourne

Today, I divorced my husband of 20 years. The only positive thing about my day was my pregnancy test. Yes, it was his. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30980

You deserved it

8965

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By shiffizzle | 13

#6228271 - Wednesday 11 March 2015 0:37

Your doctor is hilarious. I would've died laughing, especially since he already knew what happened. That's awesome

By TheGreastest | 24

#6228257 - Wednesday 11 March 2015 0:33

your doctor knew.. lol

COMMENTS

By TheGreastest | 24

#6228257 - Wednesday 11 March 2015 0:33

your doctor knew.. lol

rossea | 21

#6228420 - Wednesday 11 March 2015 3:49

OP how can you stand shaving down there? It makes it so itchy!

R3TROxLOV3 | 32

#6228432 - Wednesday 11 March 2015 4:06

44, it's only itchy if you do it wrong. I'd personally never ever ever ever wax there. having someone rip the hair of my vagina out by the roots? I'm good.