Today, it's my birthday. I worked late, so I was looking forward to spending a quiet evening with my husband. When he suggested we go grocery shopping, I got excited thinking he had organized a surprise party or something. He actually just took me grocery shopping. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my birthday. My wife took me to my favorite restaurant for dinner. She made me pay for my birthday dinner, along with hers. She also got me a gift card to HER favorite store. FML
Today, I got out of work, and just wanted to relax after a stressful day. Instead, I came home to a surprise birthday party that my boyfriend set up. My birthday isn't even until next week, and I secretly hate two of the people he invited. FML
Today, it's my husband's birthday. I tried to buy him a new computer game, to which he complained. I cooked him steak and his favorite cake, and got him another nice gift instead. Hours later, his online friends bought him a new game and it was the only time I saw him genuinely smile. FML
Today, my husband took me out for my birthday dinner. When it was time to pay, he took out a stack of gift cards. I asked where he got them, and he said he got them as a bundle at Costco, and saved sixty bucks on the meal. He then got annoyed with me when I told him it made me not want birthday sex. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had promised that the day would belong to me. But no, I had to drive 80km forth and back to pick him up from work, then he took pictures with his new camera lens, then he decided what to eat, demanded a massage, and then he just fell asleep. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, all that I wanted for my birthday was for someone else to pick out a cake flavor, and to spend the day alone. I've been asked ten times what kind of cake I want, and my husband took a off work. FML
Today, it's my 30th birthday. My husband came home with a big case of beer for himself, then told me he didn't have time to get me a present because of work. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My husband said he had to work today and “rain checked” my birthday celebration for “god knows when, because I’m so busy. I’ll let you know.” A couple of months ago it was his female work bestie’s birthday and he got her a cake, balloon, flowers, and requested time off to take her out for lunch. FML
Today, for my birthday, my wife gave me a "day to myself", except less than 20 minutes after I woke up it was, "could I quickly drive her to an appointment?", and "can we do a quick grocery shop?", and, "the kids need this and that." At bedtime, she asked me how I’d enjoyed my day to myself, seriously. FML
Today, I planned a surprise birthday party for my boyfriend. I invited all his friends and made all his favorite food. He was running very late, so I called to ask what was taking so long. His response? He said he was at his house, with the very friends I was standing next to. FML
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Top comments
Joshwarrior 39
Appreciate the little things in life.
PrimeEvilTahir 24
Us guys don't play with words... When we say let's go grocery shopping, we mean grocery shopping... There is no other meaning... Unless it's sex related... Then we play with all kind of words :-)
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Comments (77)
challan 19
Pick out your own birthday dinner OP and have him prepare it for you.
heyhihello95 12
Well you know, some people actually say what they mean
perdix 31
He did have a surprise party -- before you got home. Weren't you wondering why you two ended shopping for the ingredients of "sammiches?"
Aczidraindrop420 7
Note to women: Talk to your man and let him know what you want. He's not a mind reader!
Bebbo_fml 21
He might not be but he should at least have common sense that grocery shopping is not a suitable way to spend one's birthday. 9Unless said shopping is for a special dinner for the day but considering this is a fml I highly doubt it was.
CaptMurdock 25
Did you at least get him to buy you a birthday cake or something?
Lant 6
You said you wanted a quiet evening with your husband, but then you post a fml because you didnt get a suprise party. Last time i checked most parties arent quiet
rg350dx 29
I thought the same thing when I read it. Then I remembered there's just no pleasing some men. OP needs to make up her damn mind and not essentially want the exact opposite of the thing she was "looking forward" to.
mn_shr 22
OP didn't mean she expected a surprise. She just anticipated one when her husband said lets go shopping. Sometimes people think there might be the slightest chance that there's something to look forward to. No need to ask her to make up her own damn mind about it.
Soloman212 28
When you get "excited" about something, it usually means you want it, not just that you anticipate it.
olpally 33
Get some steak and have him cook it for you!
FightMyLiger 19
YDI for letting your unrealistic expectation bring you down on your birthday. After all, you got the quiet evening you were looking for.
SinisterSmiler 10
Never asume. You'll get stuff like this.
ltaper11 20
But what about later did he give you any hints by buying banana and oranges and putting them in a suggestive place inside of the grocery cart?