FML for mobile
Free

Open in app
FMyLife
1fungi

Today, it's my 26th birthday. My girlfriend gave me a matchbox car, a glow necklace, and a squirt gun. For her birthday, I bought her a new dress, rented a limo, and took her around to bar hop with her friends. FML

164

Collection

Wild Nights Out

Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

SAgirl 24

You're her sugar daddy, not her BF.

kman1759 7

if this was flipped and the boy was given the squirt gun and the girl was giving the limo everyones opinions would be completely different.

Add a comment · Reply to

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Sign in Create my account

Comments (164)

doublewide420 0

thats all she could steal from the pharmacy in one trip,give her a break.

mesnugglez 0

Aw that sucks! You should talk to him about it.

deidre823 7

Dude...dump that stupid bitch. Oh & demand she pay you back so you can get yourself something nice.

ohhsnappitsme 15

That sucks pretty bad. But happy birthday to you too! :D

xxstacyxx 0

and that's how we gurlz roll !!

jcingram 2

I cant agree with you people defending his girlfriend. I could see if she got him a thoughtful and sentimental gift but...WHO IN THE HELL BUYS A GROWN ASS MAN A MATCHBOX, A GLOWING NECKLACE, AND A F%$&*G SQUIRT GUN!!!! He's 26 not 8. Call me selfish but I believe you need to do right to those who do right by you...there are plenty of expensive and inexpensive gifts that are thoughtful such as a nice birthday card, a candlelit dinner, a scrapbook of all of your wonderful memories together, and if you're into sexual favors you can do what all those other people above me said and give that person some good old fashioned neck. but I digress..The point is that from this story I believe this guy is worth just a little more than a SQUIRT GUN....oh and to those asking that "What do you think would've been a fair exchange?" question...It doesn't have to be the financial equivalent of my gifts but overall it needs to be something I ENJOY RECEIVING OR HAVE A SENTIMENTAL VALUE TOWARDS...In essence what is in fact a fair exchange is to give me a gift that tells me you care as much about my happiness as I do about yours. Don't bullshit a grown man with a child's toys and tell him he's selfish for wanting more. I swear if my girl got me a squirt gun as a "serious" gift I'd wait for her to go get her hair done, then squirt down her new hairdo because hey I need to let you know not to get me one of those ever again...but that's me.

alexFYL 11

Bitter much? I'm 26 and I think a matchbox car and a squirtgun would be awesome. I like stupid random little toys. Maybe I'm sentimental (and not a bitch) but they make excellent memories. I put little gifts like that on top of my computer monitor.

jcingram 2

well to that I can only reply to each his own. I apologize if my earlier comment led you to believe that what I said applies to everyone..if you in fact like toys in that sense then it would be a thoughtful gift to give someone such as yourself..You kinda remind me of my aunt who collects bells and weird hat...nobody would probably appreciate it more if I gave them a bell but she'd have a ball.

boatkicker 5

Need more information before I can make a decision. Are you perhaps sentimental about things from your childhood? If so, she might have thought this was a sweet and fun gift. Or is SHE sentimental about her own childhood? Sometimes when people can't figure out what to get someone, they get a gift that they would like to receive and hope the other person is just as appreciative. Financially, how set is she? If she can barely afford to feed herself, you should feel lucky you got a gift at all, even if it's not what you wanted. If she only had $10 to spend on a gift, she might have thought "silly" would be better than "serious." Some people get really ticked off if they get some sort of cheap version of something that's usually expensive. Maybe she thought you were one of those people, so she got you something that's "supposed" to be cheap. Or perhaps this was some sort of joke that you apparently didn't get? Or some strange hint at a future present that couldn't be given immediately for some reason. Or maybe she bought you a nice present online and it hasn't shown up in the mail yet, so she scrambled last minute to get you something in the mean time and she wants the real present to be a surprise. On the other hand, maybe she's too lazy to put the effort into thinking what you might want, so she just got you some random stuff. Or maybe she's broke and too lazy to even make you a present, so she just grabbed some random crap she had hidden in the bottom of her closet. Or maybe she's trying to subtly piss you off for one reason or another. Or maybe she secretly hated her birthday present, so she's trying to "even the score" or something. Maybe she's just a bitch who thinks she deserves better presents than you do.

detolicious 2

You're leaving out a crucial part to determine whether your GF is unreasonable or not - what kind of matchbox car?!

MEM0817 18

Haha! :]

alexFYL 11

I think a necessary part of this FML would be including how much money you both make. What she got you sounds like a decent gift for someone who doesn't make much or has a lot of bills or debt. Also it's a GIFT... she didn't HAVE to get you anything at all. She could have just got you a card and made you a cake. You sound like a whiny brat.

Hughmadd 0

Man posts this - "Well...you MIGHT be acting childish, which MIGHT lead her to think deeper, and therefore, she MIGHT be implying something, or on the other hand, you MIGHT also be a jerk to her and don't deserve anything better, so YDI" Woman posts this - "DUMP HIS ASS RAWRAWRAWRAWR" Does anyone else notice this shit? Not just for FMLs involving money, but for almost EVERYTHING that regards a relationship it's just magically assumed on this site that a huge chain of unexplained events leads to a YDI for the bf.

alexFYL 11

o_o Where have you been the past year? "She better make you a sandwich" is all the rage now. I think you are just biased. It's about 50/50 bitter troll comments/real helpful comments usually. You know what they say, when you're pregnant you'll start seeing pregnant people everywhere... sounds like you're ragin' for personal issues.

alexFYL 11

And for the record, I'm going to admit perhaps I am biased on this FML. My boyfriend makes a lot more money than I do and this year I have no money to get him anything. I feel really bad about it, but I can't do anything about it. For my birthday this past weekend we went out to stay in another city with our friends for a few days and went out to breakfast/lunch/dinner at our favorite places and of course he paid for all of it. For his birthday earlier this year we did a similar thing but he still had to pay for himself. At this point it doesn't look like I will even be able to get him anything for Christmas, so he might very well just get a matchbox car, a glow necklace and a squirt gun. /coolstorybro

Hughmadd 0

The thing is though, the kitchen/sandwich jokers are TROLLS. They TRY to make the people here angry because they know that no matter what, they'll always be a couple oblivious/gullible people who mistake them for genuine commeters. As for me, I'm one of the most anti-materialistic people that you'll meet. But I would at least make a decent attempt to get a good gift for my gf, if she had put so much in to my own birthday as the OP did. She doesn't even have to spend a penny for God's sake! A nice, hand-made card (or purchased), or a walk in the park, or just a nice day together, SOMETHING, other than throwing together whatever shit you find around the house and trying to be excused with it.

alexFYL 11

What can I say? People turn into assholes when they're anonymous online. When reading replies here you have to take it with a grain of salt and realize most of these people wouldn't behave or do the things they say the same way in real life. All these "DUMP HIM!!!!" comments from supposed-women, I seriously doubt they would leave their boyfriends in real life. When people are pissing and moaning online, they only share that part of the relationship here. They don't share all the ups and downs, and rightly so on a website called ****-my-life, you aren't going to hear all the good their partners have done. As for why the OP is still dating this woman who apparently didn't put much thought into the gift? Either he's desperate and afraid to be alone, or she's doing right by him somewhere else. These aren't real people or real comments.

ChibiChibi_fml 28

From what I've read on this sight I have to disagree. It generally winds up being about equal when it comes to the male to female ratio of "Dump Him/Her"comments as well as with the justification comments. What decides the exact balance for any given FML is the nature of the FML itself.

ChibiChibi_fml 28

In this case it's a birthday gift issue and the comments reflect accordingly. If it were a wedding issue the comments would be similar but the gender ratio would be different in regards to who left the most comments with what specific type of content.