Today, it's been a week since my little brother took up his new hobby of posting "cool story, bro" in reply to almost every Facebook status and comment that I make. Not only do I already want to smash his face against a brick wall, my parents will ground me if I defriend any family members. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on Facebook to find that my little brother had messed with my profile. He wrote on my status that I'm a piece of shit, I have no life, and several other nasty and perverted things. Underneath, it said 26 of my friends liked this. I'm new to Facebook. So far I have 26 friends. FML
Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML
Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML
Today, I fell asleep while using my laptop. The next thing I know, it's 8am and my dad is screaming at me for posting "u skank-ass cunt-face" on my mom's Facebook timeline. I never made that post, but he won't believe me. My asshole brother, meanwhile, can't stop smirking at me. FML
Today, my brother asked me how to block someone on Facebook. Seeing as how my brother never asks me for anything, I took this opportunity to help him. He then blocked me. FML
Today, while I was in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been Facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML
Today, I got on my computer and saw my little brother had left his myspace page up with a message between him and his friend. They were talking about a plan to basically humiliate me in any way possible. It was called "Operation: Fat Cow." FML
Today, my brother is about to move to a new house, all because last week I played a prank on him. I made him believe that I crashed my car and had to sell his things to pay for the damage. He's no longer talking to me, or acknowledging me as a sibling anymore. FML
Today, I was scrolling through my phone and saw a post from my nephew's mother, my brother's girlfriend. She has a swollen eye that my brother gave her. I've been telling him for months to get his temper in control, and now he's facing possible charges, and she's utterly traumatized. I wish I could cut off relations. FML
Today, my little brother got mad at me, so he colored the entire screen of my new iPod Touch with a black sharpie. FML
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Top comments
dagrathe 0
cool female bro.
ceatsouth 0
Just block your wall so he can't see it
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Comments (346)
blondie1208 17
you mad bro?
ashtonkay 7
I ain't even mad.
Samirakate 8
You know you CAN block people right? It doesn't unfriend them, they just cant comment or see your posts
skyman3000 9
I feel for you man
Ima_monster_x3 12
Cool story bro...
Gigglebear 9
Just block him from your status updates so he can't make comments.
sasquatch69 0
block him!!!
PandaPandy 6
Block him. You won't delete him, but he won't be able to see any of your posts.
PandaPandy 6
What??
Shrike 24
yeah but, his parents are obviously tightasses, so I don't think getting rid of the brother on a technicality would exactly wash with them...
Pslcybn5 7
So what BRO... He looks up to you. And he's probably the only one commenting on FB anyways!
PandaPandy 6
Lol XD sure
OGReaper 2
YDI for using facebook like a typical toolbag.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Your comment: "DUUUUHHH I troll on fml spreading pure nonsense about facebook because I can't get friends on facebook and i'm a loner in real life, and i'm stupid DDDUUUUUUUHHHHHHH"
a_nutritionist 10
wow, that doesnt look anything like a summation of his point. its also a lot longer and the way its worded sounds like it came from the hand of an idiot.
THE_A_TEEN 28
It's not a summarization of his post. I'm expressing his stupidity. Idiot.
OGReaper 2
lol at you getting defensive about your love of facebook. Go update your status loser. lol.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Who said I have a facebook? ar...are you a s...stalker?
every1luvsboners 11
So your brother is just like 95% of the pubescent little fuckwads on FML. Welcome to reality, leave your logic at the door.