Today, I've reached the point in my life where the "Apply to...

By Whiteheads - 26/8/2015 04:33 - United States - Beaumont

Today, I've reached the point in my life where the "Apply to affected area" label on acne cream essentially means I need to take a bath in the stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24826

You deserved it

1988

Favorite

Whiteheads Say more :

OP here, I made an account to reply. To clarify a bit, I'm 19, so I've been dealing with acne for a while and have my face pretty well under control. I said I need to take a bath in acne cream because it's mostly my shoulders and back, and no amount of washing and scrubbing seems to help. Thanks for the funny comments and advice :)

Health

Delayed proposal

Everyone's an expert

Hello everyone!

By koalaburr - 28/4/2015 15:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I dressed up sexy to cheer up my boyfriend after a bad day at work. Instead of being cheered up, he accused me of dressing up that way for the male DJs at the radio station where I work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31043

You deserved it

3184

Favorite

By Anonymous - 21/8/2014 17:39 - Canada - Barrie

Today, on my first day at as a photo editor at a print store, I had to spend over an hour editing a full shoot of a fat man eating a baguette in a bathtub, closeups included. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39404

You deserved it

3786

Favorite

By Anonymous - 20/5/2009 15:42 - United States

Today, me and my co-workers were playing with the Helium tank we got today. We were all giggling like little girls for the better half of 15 minutes. I don't know what is more sad, that a bunch of guys were sucking helium instead of working, or that the youngest guy in the group is 43. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48012

You deserved it

15102

Favorite

By Anonymous - 16/9/2009 05:19 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33076

You deserved it

5572

Favorite

By Anonymous - 24/7/2016 06:40 - United States - Huntsville

Today, after a week of my new neighbor constantly yelling in his native language, I finally complained about the noise. Turns out that's just his normal talking voice. Goodbye sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14662

You deserved it

1098

Favorite

By caesarinozeppeli - 11/5/2017 16:00

Today, after ordering it four weeks ago, I finally got the expensive figurine that I'd been wanting. Also today, my brother jizzed onto it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3971

You deserved it

372

Favorite

By Anonymous - 9/2/2010 06:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told my hamster he loved her. Repeatedly. In 'cute' baby voices. He has yet to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27281

You deserved it

5730

Favorite

By chinesef000d - 29/8/2009 05:38 - United States

Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43835

You deserved it

3161

Favorite

By biblepain - 28/3/2015 02:12 - United States - Tucson

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Within minutes, they said I needed to leave. Their reason? Apparently, I was mocking her dad's speech impediment. I also have one but they wouldn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36174

You deserved it

2201

Favorite

By SebastianMiko - 9/11/2012 07:18 - Canada - Calgary

Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47886

You deserved it

2288

Favorite

By Big break - 18/5/2020 14:00

As seen on TV

Today, I finally got my big TV debut. After thousand of dollars in acting classes and years of waiting to become a professional actress, I got featured in a commercial. I will be rubbing toilet paper against my face for all of four seconds. Hurray, fame! FML

I agree, your life sucks

1273

You deserved it

586

Favorite

By ukfan - 6/10/2010 16:01 - United States

Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31320

You deserved it

5044

Favorite

By booyouwhoree - 3/3/2009 20:49 - United States

Today, I told my friend I hadn't had a period in 5 months. She asked me if I was pregnant. When I asked her if I looked 5 months pregant, she replied by saying "is that supposed to be a trick question?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

50725

You deserved it

18318

Favorite

By Anonymous - 31/3/2013 20:34 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, what started as a fun family Easter egg hunt turned within minutes into my mother-in-law's big chance to be a dramatic cow by screaming at my 5 and 7-year-old daughters for participating in a "vile pagan ritual" and saying that we're all going to hell. They're still bawling. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39741

You deserved it

2622

Favorite

By drinkdrankdrunk - 27/9/2013 07:33 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I woke up from a night of heavy drinking to find my girlfriend dumped me. Apparently I drunk-called her last night and told her that someone as beautiful as her could be with someone way better than me. She agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44090

You deserved it

17790

Favorite

By MissBeEyeTeeSeeH - 8/11/2009 11:46 - Canada

Today, It was pretty nice out, so I decided to walk to work. Not twenty minutes after leaving, it started to pour. I was soaking when I got there and had to change. My boyfriend works next door, so I asked him if he could give me a ride. His reply? "Sorry Babe, I just can't be seen with you like that." FML

I agree, your life sucks

35495

You deserved it

4400

Favorite

By Anonymous - 20/7/2016 06:40 - United States - Seattle

Today, I dropped my knitting project while I was sitting down, but I managed to catch it between my legs. So my knitting needles also caught me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11545

You deserved it

1355

Favorite

By Anonymous - 7/10/2011 19:00 - United States

Today, after we got home from the doctor's office, my mom checked the voicemail. Loud and clear, we both heard my boyfriend's break-up message. My parents had already forbidden me from dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19595

You deserved it

27610

Favorite

By dzisfml - 14/2/2010 08:42 - Canada

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to rub Tabasco sauce on my household toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30436

You deserved it

4592

Favorite

By Anunimos - 19/4/2015 13:08 - Romania - Bucharest

Today, I found out my best friend's girlfriend is cheating on him with his own brother. I went over to his place and told him everything while his girlfriend was in the same room. He called me a jealous liar who wanted to break them up, and kicked me out while she looked on, smirking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33799

You deserved it

3390

Favorite

By fuck kids - 6/6/2013 18:24 - United States - Binghamton

Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turd waffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46271

You deserved it

3422

Favorite

By Anonymous - 4/7/2012 16:40 - Canada - Charlottetown

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and sister fooling around in the shower together. Supposedly, she was sleepwalking, and he was trying to wake her up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48503

You deserved it

3258

Favorite

By Jenievonteese - 12/6/2011 23:33 - United States

Today, I was having a nice dream in which a beautiful butterfly flew by me and got stuck in my hair, fluttering its wings against my neck. Then I woke up and realized the "butterfly" stuck in my hair was actually a giant wood roach. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44657

You deserved it

3228

Favorite

By Anonymous - 16/5/2012 21:56 - Sweden - V?llingby

Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10164

You deserved it

39536

Favorite

By jeanrose2013 - 23/10/2012 22:12 - United States - Jonesboro

Today, I was walking with my boyfriend when a guy walked up to me and told me I look exactly like Taylor Swift. My boyfriend punched him in the face and told him that Taylor Swift is a lot more attractive. I'm actually considering leaving him for the complete stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36196

You deserved it

3172

Favorite

By FastFoodWaiter - 3/9/2012 23:43 - United States - Saukville

Today, a woman came up to me at work and screamed at me for "taking forever" to come and wait at her table. I work at Wendy's. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28213

You deserved it

1933

Favorite

By seanjohn268 - 29/11/2011 17:21 - Canada

Today, I discovered that you should always unplug the electric mixer before licking the beaters. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11325

You deserved it

66058

Favorite

By Anonymous - 3/10/2015 07:00 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, at the swimming pool, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up on my 5-year-old daughter underwater and surprise her. I grabbed her by the sides, and she shrieked. A moment later, a brown cloud erupted from her swimsuit. Cue screaming and a mass panic from the other kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23985

You deserved it

12408

Favorite

By Saucy - 26/6/2009 22:03 - United States

Today, I got marinara sauce on my new white shirt. I went in my desk for my Tide-To-Go pen and started using it on the spot. Turns out orange highlighters look a lot like Tide-To-Go pens when you don't look closely enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19531

You deserved it

50441

Favorite

By anon - 29/1/2015 18:32 - United States - Carlsbad

Today, I woke up after taking the new sleeping pills I was prescribed for my insomnia. I slept for 12 hours and had 5 missed calls from my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30088

You deserved it

2835

Favorite

By bad date - 13/6/2012 04:42 - United States - Bennet

Today, my date made me pay him for picking me up, and taking me back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30221

You deserved it

3700

Favorite

By unknown - 17/8/2019 02:00 - Canada

Today, my wife figured out I gave her a dollar store ring for our anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks

476

You deserved it

4420

Favorite

By Nofun - 29/8/2009 18:40 - United States

Today, I was helping my mom pack for our family vacation. We were both talking about how excited we were, when she turns to me and says, "Would you be offended if I asked you not to come? It's just... I want to have fun." FML

I agree, your life sucks

58900

You deserved it

5544

Favorite

By soy_un_perderdor - 13/12/2009 07:14 - United States

Today, it's Saturday. While all my friends go out to have fun, I get my excitement thinking about how I'll be sleeping with a new pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28618

You deserved it

6736

Favorite

By rarara - 30/10/2012 21:26 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimented my dad on having three "strapping young boys." I informed him that I'm a girl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32053

You deserved it

3010

Favorite

By Anonymous - 8/4/2020 14:00

That devil water

Today, my boyfriend went to his friends house to drink. He told me he’s a happy drinker, and I believed him. He calls me drunk about three hours later and tells me he’s been thinking about cheating on me for a long time, and that he also thinks about "being with other women." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1671

You deserved it

154

Favorite

By Anonymous - 22/1/2019 22:00 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, the maintenance man for my apartment “fixed” my toilet from constantly running. Now it won’t flush. I learned this after I took a huge dump. My boyfriend was over to spend the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2055

You deserved it

227

Favorite

By Nikki - 27/7/2012 13:45 - United States - Newark

Today, my live-in-boyfriend lost his job. Jokingly, I told him that we weren't going to have sex until he found a new job. He then turned to me with the most excited look I have ever seen on his face and said "I am going to stay unemployed forever!" He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32712

You deserved it

9143

Favorite

By humdrummitydrum - 19/8/2014 20:46 - United States

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46820

You deserved it

6595

Favorite

By divingconfidence - 22/12/2012 11:21 - United States - Maple Grove

Today, it was my first time at the club. I saw a really cute girl. I finally worked up the courage to ask her to dance. Before I even got within five feet of her, she looked me in the eyes and vehemently shook her head. I did a 180. My friends saw everything. They are still laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41443

You deserved it

4654

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By drunkturtle | 14

#6393655 - Wednesday 26 August 2015 18:11

Are you a teenager? If so that's completely normal so I wouldn't worry about it

By MrLufthansa | 14

#6393658 - Wednesday 26 August 2015 18:12

Its a stage in life. It will be over soon.

COMMENTS

By drunkturtle | 14

#6393655 - Wednesday 26 August 2015 18:11

Are you a teenager? If so that's completely normal so I wouldn't worry about it

By MrLufthansa | 14

#6393658 - Wednesday 26 August 2015 18:12

Its a stage in life. It will be over soon.

lexos | 16

#6393728 - Wednesday 26 August 2015 19:07

Not necessarily. I am 26 but still have it every now and then. Not as bad as it used to be just a few

smallandroid | 26

#6393742 - Wednesday 26 August 2015 19:18

I'm 21 and I have severe cystic acne on my face. It's not the same for everyone.

gracehi | 31

#6393781 - Wednesday 26 August 2015 19:56

When I was teenager, I had the most beautiful, porcelain skin you've ever seen. Now that I'm nearly thirty, I have to use an acne wash daily to prevent breakouts and every now and then I still get pimples. It's different for everyone. Hopefully I won't be plagued with wrinkly skin AND pimples in my golden years.

By MrsChristine | 7

#6393662 - Wednesday 26 August 2015 18:13

try washing your face with just regular bar soap. see if that helps

flufee2 | 27

#6393679 - Wednesday 26 August 2015 18:25

lol... no

smallandroid | 26

#6393747 - Wednesday 26 August 2015 19:21

You've never had severe long-term acne before, have you...

SPN_lover666 | 27

#6394281 - Thursday 27 August 2015 5:59

I have been washing my face with soap for years, and still have acne. Contrary to popular belief, you don't have to be a dirty person to get acne.

By ukeandfoodislife | 19

#6393663 - Wednesday 26 August 2015 18:13

That sucks. I'm sorry): Hopefully it's just teenage hormones!! It will be over soon):

By GiraffesRlife | 11

#6393665 - Wednesday 26 August 2015 18:15

I feel for you OP

By LeashaJoy5595 | 28

#6393669 - Wednesday 26 August 2015 18:17

The best ache cream in the world is the Indian Healing Clay. You can buy it off of amazon and use it nightly, it's guaranteed to make it go away, just look at the reviews. My boyfriend uses it and it works WONDERS! It's cheap too! $8 for a pound of it, best of luck OP!

LeashaJoy5595 | 28

#6393699 - Wednesday 26 August 2015 18:42

Hey, if something works, shouldn't you let people know about it, 12? Ache sucks, I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Mons_fml | 27

#6393790 - Wednesday 26 August 2015 20:05

Jews HATE him! Struggling Austrian artist discovers the secret to beat the Judeo-bolsheviks and their international money-lending cabal >WATCH VIDEO NOW

LeashaJoy5595 | 28

#6393814 - Wednesday 26 August 2015 20:37

Oh wow, I just realized I spelt acne wrong on both comments. That's embarrassing, sorry FML community!

JustinJK | 21

#6393824 - Wednesday 26 August 2015 20:53

Nothing worked for me. I tried everything from prescription creams to herbal/natural remedies. the only thing that worked for my severe cystic acne was Accutane. I did everything. I changed my diet. all that.