Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML
Today, like many other days, I fell asleep in math class. Unlike other days, however, I woke up with a start while ripping a really loud fart in my sleep. The whole class heard it because it was during a lecture. Even the teacher was laughing at me and I had to walk, no, run out of the room. FML
Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML
Today, I stood up in front of the class and dropped my pen. As I bent over to pick it up, a boy in the front row loudly broke wind. I will forever be known as "that teacher who farted". FML
Today, I had a dictation test. The whole classroom was silent, but I suddenly needed to fart. Not to break the silence, I wanted to fart slowly in the hope it would be silent. It didn't make the fart less obvious, it just made it longer, so that everyone noticed and started laughing. FML
Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of class. Thinking I got away with it, I just kept doing my work until some kid across the room says, "I could have done better." FML
Today, I thought I was all alone in the class, so I lifted up my leg and ripped a huge fart. One of my students was still in there. He told everybody. FML
Today, while studying in the library, I felt a sudden urge to pass gas. There were not too many people around, so I let it go while in my seat and it went unnoticed. What caught the attention of everybody was the puddle slowly forming under my seat. Turns out, I farted so hard I pissed myself. FML
Today, I farted A LOT during an exam, all silent, so I figured I should be OK. Then I looked around and everybody was suffocating and giving me sly looks. I'm now known to everyone in the department as SuperFart. FML
Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML
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Top comments
morganavery33 5
ah.
daughterofabitch 4
everyone one farts therefore you are also gross and stupid
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Comments (256)
Jakers721 0
lmao!!!
jackdbomber 0
Kimberly knows so much bout farting, I guess that's experince talking. lol so how many times you did tht Bit-by-Bit thingy?
jackdbomber 0
according to organisedchaos (what the **** is tht, anyways) you have to be a physics professor and apply newtons laws to calculate time and distance travelled and then only shuld think of farting. what an epic idiot !!!!
nnnnas 0
lmfao
sarahmah214 0
this just made my entire day!
vi3tno_romeo 5
I LOL'ed...=)
smallmac17 0
hahaha
melonsmasherrr 0
xD awkwarrrd. why not just hold it???
goonie85 0
This is so ******* epic. I can definitely see this on an episode of Family Guy. I believe others have already suggested the classic "Cough and Toot" but you can also just try spreading your butt a little bit and letting it leak out. Pray that you aren't going to shart though. Buttcheeks just make it louder....
beyoh 0
This is one of the funniest fmls I have ever read :D And I'm supposed to be adult and mature... Even better if you were nervous and it came out a really prolonged squeak. Like letting the air out of a balloon...