Today, in high school, we had a presentation about sex, condoms, etc. After a while, the lady explained that we should get to know our sexual organs better. "For example, my daughter looks at her vagina in front of a mirror to check it out." I’m her daughter. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML
Today, my 12 year-old daughter asked me where her scrotum is. FML
Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML
Today, I found out that my 8-year-old daughter somehow learned how babies are made. Sort of. I found this out when we had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When one teacher asked where she was from, she replied, "My daddy's balls." FML
Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML
Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated, "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I was with my four year-old daughter when we met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman I know. My daughter looked at her for a while and then asked, "Why doesn’t your skin fit your face?" FML
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
Today, I was giving myself a breast exam for lumps. I heard laughing, looked around and saw that the 12 year-old neighbor and his friends were watching through the window. FML
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Top comments
iburppeopleup 0
wow why would your mom even KNOW that?
Kesler_17 0
That is horrifying. Parents seem to lose all social skill when it comes to their children's lives.
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Comments (186)
womblebat 2
Ouch! That's way too personal to say in a room full of your classmates. Maybe you can pass it off as just a part of your moms act and that you don't do it?
fthku 13
You're aware it's highschool, right? :3
stevenmx86 8
Ydi for being a sicko..
Mokiikom_fml 8
The only sicko here is you...
maybaybe 0
If that was my mum I would kill her!
LKA406 0
that's an old story!
calenzelon 6
JERK!
UTTU 0
So the OP's nether region is so terrifying it would turn a person to stone without a mirror?
rattusrattus 19
Medusa ******. To go with ****** Dentata. And having a Crotch Anaconda.
eissirk 2
YDI for having a ******
sparta98 4
@62 In the words of the Governator, "You should go clone yourself."
eissirk 2
Lol wut
varkey 7
well, do you do that?
kejadude 0
You had school on MLK day?
rattusrattus 19
Your globe just has the shape of the US, Canada and Mexico, and a heck of a lot of blue, doesn't it? It's European. We have our own holidays. If you buy a new world map, then look to the right of the US. It's that big lump of green on the top half. Please can the geocentricism, kthnxbai. Also, there could be a delay between posting and display on the site.
tourtinet_fml 14
moreover ,the VDM is translated , normally , it was on a french website . And , In france , the day is not a bank holiday , but we adore Martin luther king ;-). (sorry , my english is very bad , but I want to progress) .
deven329 1
5'600th ur life sucks!