Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML
Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML
Today, in frustration, I threw a spanner across the room at work, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. I woke up in an ambulance with a cracked skull and a gorgeous EMT lady. I would've tried to ask her out, but while I was out cold I'd pissed myself, and the whole ambulance reeked of it. FML
Today, at a ski resort, I tried to impress an attractive girl on the slopes and failed, horribly. I ended up with a mild concussion and some serious cuts after tripping, tumbling and hitting my head against the ground. I don't think she was impressed. FML
Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML
Today, I got lunch with a girl I really like. On the way, for some idiotic reason I decided it would be a good idea to show off by jumping up to high-five the red hand on a traffic sign. I ended up slipping and slamming full-force into the pole. I now have a bruise on my face. FML
Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
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Top comments
Wheredidgrungego 12
Yeah because all any girl wants is a guy who can crush things with his head. Idiot.
samadams42 0
They should've drawn pussy on your forhead.
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Comments (292)
unipegacornasis 0
Ummm so most girls aren't impressed by things like that...maybe trying something intelligent next time...that you know you can accomplish instead of showing her how you can be an epic fail.
pinedo39 0
damn. you must be real strong
madseewhy 3
haha you POS, how lame can you get?
bootje 5
things guys learn after puberty: girls will not be impressed by burping, farting, fighting, cursing, spitting on the ground or crushing things with your head
AshlyNicole 0
I definitely would have walked away as well but after I pulled your pants to your ankles and your shirt over your head and leave you to whomever came across you.
KyleUsesHacks 0
Like a boss
DelPiero10 0
ya facken retard
Shinygirlnz 1
WHY would you think this would impress a girl?
HateyMcHater 4
All you idiots are reading this post completely wrong. He clearly states that he hit the CAN with his FOREHEAD, not the other way around. This was obviously a clever gambit designed to stir the woman's primordial instincts and hunter/gatherer genetic memories. This guy patiently stalked a can all night long; following it to its den; sneaking, creeping up behind his vicious aluminum quarry. WAM! He leaps high into the air, driving his forehead down in a vicious arc, but his foe is well-designed, sturdy and true. He is unaware of the can's hidden strength; this is no pansy cansy, constructed with 35% post consumer recycled materials. This is a can from the heartland, and it holds up to his misguided--though still valiant--assault. Afterward, his tribal brothers ceremonially brand him with the Sigil of Fail and he wanders the plains outcast and alone. Personally, I think there's some real human drama in this post, and I hope it's not the last we see from this guy. I have a feeling it isn't.
Ranger16266 0
The human race never fails to amaze me...