Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML
Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML
Today, in frustration, I threw a spanner across the room at work, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. I woke up in an ambulance with a cracked skull and a gorgeous EMT lady. I would've tried to ask her out, but while I was out cold I'd pissed myself, and the whole ambulance reeked of it. FML
Today, at a ski resort, I tried to impress an attractive girl on the slopes and failed, horribly. I ended up with a mild concussion and some serious cuts after tripping, tumbling and hitting my head against the ground. I don't think she was impressed. FML
Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML
Today, I got lunch with a girl I really like. On the way, for some idiotic reason I decided it would be a good idea to show off by jumping up to high-five the red hand on a traffic sign. I ended up slipping and slamming full-force into the pole. I now have a bruise on my face. FML
Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
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Top comments
Wheredidgrungego 12
Yeah because all any girl wants is a guy who can crush things with his head. Idiot.
samadams42 0
They should've drawn pussy on your forhead.
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Comments (292)
robberry 11
1. Girls are impressed with smarts, humor, chivalry... not idiocy. 2. You should have squeezed the sides of the can so it was easier to crush.
JetRyan 0
dude, that's not how u impress a girl. u epically failed.
felisdomestica 2
whoa, a girl that impressed by such stunt must be an airhead. so the guy who tried to impress by doing so. hahahaha...you deserved having a penis drawn on your forehead.
elyoko11 0
Wow, I'm amazed she isn't all over you. I mean, I know that whenever I see those redneck retards at my high school smashing cans outside the Ag building, I can't help but go a little weak at the knees. Nice job, retard.
soclose99 0
I don't know what's worse... Why he was trying to crush the can or the fact that it was a soda can and not a beer can...
someguy314159265 15
I wouldn't be surprised if the girl was the one who drew the penis on your face. If I was the girl, I would BRAND the penis on your face because of how stupid you are.
VikingPrincess19_fml 9
You must really not know what girls like... YDI
Wandering_Witch 0
Maybe SHE drew it. XD
tdog_ossim 0
oh yeah!! because he can do a totally awesome thing like croushing a can on his head im gonna strip down and let him do nasty stuff to me...
johnnie254 7
after reading this, I conclude that you are DEFINITELY a white boy...YDI ...only a white boy